Yes, I stole Guido's idea.

readnews events 201
EVENTS NEWS #201
Date: 10/11/2005 at 6:00
From: Anonymous
To : Everyone
Subj: Ellara's Ascension

Today Ellara, the Wyvern Rider Administrator famous for her fiery temper and ceaseless discipline of the novices under her, stomped angrily up Avechna's Peak and, as reported by eyewitnesses, yelled, "You bloody bastards! Think you're better than everyone else, eh?" upon which a bolt of lightning struck her. Her form changed then, and she became the first Vernal God in modern times.

Unfortunately for her, something was amiss. In becoming a Vernal God, she had gained great power, but lost her imposing stature. She now stood at the diminutive height of one inch. The crowd now surrounding the place of the ascension burst into fits of giggles, and Ellara attempted to smite them down. Her attempts were for naught, as only tiny lightning bolts that did little to harm her foes exploded from her fingertips. One Magnagoran who chose to remain unnamed stated that "It was the hardest he'd laughed in years."

It appears the Weavers of Fate have a sense of humor...

Penned by my hand on the 23rd of Roarkian, in the year 205 CE.

stat
Ellara
Strength : ??? Dexterity : ??? Constitution : ???
Intelligence : ??? Size : 1 Charisma : ???
You are dressed normally, and not hungry.
You do not need sleep.
You are sober and in control.
From the clothing that can be seen, you look ridiculous.
You are an enemy of: Serenwilde, Celest, Magnagora, Hallifax.
You currently possess infinite lessons, and you don't need Credits.
You have infinite lessons available in your lesson pools.
You have played for a total of 32 days, 19 hours and 57 minutes.
This week you've played a total of 0 days, 7 hours and 24 minutes.
When you shout, others will hear: Ellara's feeble voice is barely heard to be screaming, "Blah blah
blah."
You are not currently active in any family.
You have one free reincarnation.
Your motto: 'Life and death go around and come around.'
You will timeout after 3 minutes of inactivity.

honors Ellara
Ellara (Female Viscanti Vernal God).
She is 121 years old, having been born on the 1st of Estar, 84 years after the
Coming of Estarra.
She is ranked 480th in Lusternia.
She is an extremely credible character.
She is an Itinerant Traveler in the Fellowship of Explorers
She is a member of the clan called 'Guardians of the Eternal Flame.'
Her motto: 'Life and death go around and come around.'
She is considered to be approximately equal to your might.
She is not currently active in any family.
She was the first Vernal God.
She was the first to be ridiculed after Ascending.
She has earned the title 'Thumbelina'.

Vernal Maggot... nice idea.

Hah. Next thing you'll know, we'll have a Vernal Shrub God.

2880h, 2880m, 10p ex- readnews events 202
EVENTS NEWS #202
Date: 10/11/2005 at 12:00
From: Anonymous
To : Everyone
Subj: Mysterious Shrubbery

Earlier today, an odd adventurer stepped out of the Portal of Fate, shouting what to most people seemed like random combinations of letters and numbers, such as "1 12 t3h l337" and "j00 sux0rz."

This threat was promptly met by about 20 well-seasoned novice aides, who tried to calm this adventurer down and get him to speak normally. After about half a day of trying however, it was apparent that it was impossble to convince this adventurer, especially while he was trying to kick them all to death. By this time, only about 5 novice aides were left, and they were annoyed enough to kill the offending adventurer.

After a quick ressurrection thanks to the Fates, the adventurer was back and began rapidly insulting everybody through shouts.

Said adventurer was promptly shrubbed and zapped. Simultaneously. The odd combination has resulted in the rise of the first Vernal Shrubbery God, with the power to rustle its leaves loudly enough for the whole Basin to hear!

Penned by my hand on the 23rd of Roarkian, in the year 205 CE.
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-shout GODSDAMNIT YOU SHRUB, SHUT UP!
You shout, "GODSDAMNIT YOU SHRUB, SHUT UP!"
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-
shoutsoff
You will no longer listen to shouts.
2880h, 2880m, 10p exdb-
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
You hear the sound of a leaf, gently falling to the ground - only the leaf is much larger, much heavier, and much faster than a normal leaf. Not to mention heading straight at you. As your body is crushed by the leaf, you have a sudden thought that maybe you shouldn't have eaten so many vegetables in your lifetime.
You have been slain by a Vernal Shrubbery.
0h, 2880m, 10p -
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
0h, 2880m, 10p -sob
You are dead and cannot do that.
0h, 2880m, 10p -
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
0h, 2880m, 10p -twitch
You are dead and cannot do that.
0h, 2880m, 10p -
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
0h, 2880m, 10p -
The sound of rustling leaves echoes loudly through the air.
0h, 2880m, 10p -suicide
You are dead and cannot do that.
0h, 2880m, 10p -qq



Yeah, I so suck at doing that.

Heh, very nice!

*rofl* Copycat, but a well done copycat! *snicker*

It will be creepy and scary if one of these things actually happen in lusternia...

Ascension - Continued

Marble arch before the Necropolis.
The bright sun shines down, blanketing you with its life-giving warmth. The
large gap in the outer Necropolis wall here is bridged by a massive marble
arch. The marble arch, a rare black colour, has been adorned with strange
glowing runes all along the underside. The top of the arch is embellished with
a large stone skull, fiery rubies fitted in its eye sockets. To the west lies
the main building of the Necropolis, black and sinister, with its four spires
rising up out of each corner. The outer wall leads away from the arch in either
direction, zigzagging as it makes its way around the eastern towers. There are
2 plague revenants here.
You see exits leading northeast, east, southeast, and west.

A plague revenant attempts to attack you, but stops and bursts into fits of hysterical laughter.
A plague revenant attempts to attack you, but stops and bursts into fits of hysterical laughter.

roll

You roll your eyes.

w

Centre of the Necropolis.
It is difficult to detect any features of the room, due to the powerful field
of energy that is put out by the Megalith of Doom, absorbing all but the
darkest of colours and dominating everything else in the room. The architecture
of the room is designed to accommodate the Megalith of Doom with a high dome
that forms the entire ceiling. A circular series of steps descends three tiers
down to the indentation in the centre of the room where the Megalith stands.
Four archways lead out of the room to the other areas of the Necropolis, where
candles and other illumination can barely be detected through the powerful
force of the Megalith. Rising up from cracks in the floor, the Megalith of Doom
towers above everything here, polluting the air with its foul fumes. The Keeper
of the Megalith stands here radiating a tainted presence. A sigil in the shape
of a small, rectangular monolith is on the ground. There are 3 plague revenants
here. Evil Riddler, Valek Feyranti, the Dreadnaught is here. He wields a steel broadsword in his left hand and a steel broadsword in his right hand.
You see exits leading north, east, south, and west.

Ardrak, the Keeper of the Megalith, points a quivering finger at you, but before he can speak his spell he breaks into uncontrollable laughter.
A plague revenant attempts to attack you, but stops and bursts into fits of hysterical laughter.
A plague revenant attempts to attack you, but stops and bursts into fits of hysterical laughter.
A plague revenant attempts to attack you, but stops and bursts into fits of hysterical laughter.

stat
stat
Ellara
Strength : ??? Dexterity : ??? Constitution : ???
Intelligence : ??? Size : 1 Charisma : ???
You are dressed normally, and not hungry.
You do not need sleep.
You are sober and in control.
From the clothing that can be seen, you look ridiculous.
You are an enemy of: Serenwilde, Celest, Magnagora, Hallifax.
You currently possess infinite lessons, and you don't need Credits.
You have infinite lessons available in your lesson pools.
You have played for a total of 32 days, 19 hours and 57 minutes.
This week you've played a total of 0 days, 7 hours and 24 minutes.
When you shout, others will hear: Ellara's feeble voice is barely heard to be screaming, "Blah blah
blah."
You are not currently active in any family.
You have one free reincarnation.
Your motto: 'Life and death go around and come around.'
You will timeout after 3 minutes of inactivity.

Evil Riddler, Valek Feyranti, the Dreadnaught says, "Rofl."

zap Valek

You attempt to smite Valek down, but only a miniature bolt of lightning flies from the skies. It strikes him on the head, doing little more than stunning him momentarily.

shout Damn you, Gods!

Your feeble voice weakly resounds across the lands, "Damn you, Gods!"

You see Valek yell, "Hey guys come here its ellara!"

Fain tells you, "Really now? A bit late for that, isn't it? Regardless, I can't just let you off unharmed for this. Sorry."

cower

You cower in a corner, whimpering.

A bolt of Divine lightning flies from the heavens, smiting you down instantly. For a split second, you see Fain smirking at you.
You have been slain by Fain, of the Red Masque.

Evil Riddler, Valek Feyranti, the Dreadnaught says, "Roflmao."

Death Overlord Daevos Feyranti, The Omniknight shouts, "Nice shot, Lord Fain."

Ardrak, the Keeper of the Megalith wipes tears from his eyes.
A plague revenant continues laughing, rolling on the floor helplessly.
A plague revenant continues laughing, rolling on the floor helplessly.
A plague revenant continues laughing, rolling on the floor helplessly.

pray for salvation

*Laughs* Poor, poor Ellara

Oooh, more, more! Encore!

That "one free reincarnation" might come in handy...

Gasp! I sense a sequel!

Very well. If you so insist.

- FIVE MINUTES LATER

Subdimensional pocket within the Portal of Fate
The room around you is ever-changing and nondescript, and is made of sheer thought and possibility. The faint sound of a spinning wheel can be heard in the distance. Clotho is here. Lachesis is here. Atropos is here.
There are no obvious exits.

Clotho says, "Well well well. Look who we have here. Do you know how hard it was to weave you becoming a Vernal--"

Atropos puts a hand over Clotho's mouth.

Clotho attempts to speak, but only muffled sounds escape.

Lachesis says, "You wish to reincarnate, do you not?"

say Yes, if you'd be so kind.

You say, "Yes, if you'd be so kind."

Lachesis says, "Very well. Name your species."

ponder

You ponder the situation.

Clotho breaks free of Atropos' grip and swings a brutal fist at her. She connects, leaving a mild bruise.

Lachesis exclaims, "Stop it now. Or I'll cut YOUR threads!"

Atropos says, "She hit me!"

Clotho says, "She stopped me talking!"

Atropos points accusingly at Clotho.

Clotho points accusingly at Atropos.

Lachesis rolls her eyes.

Lachesis says to you, "Have you made up your mind yet?"

say Yes.

You say, "Yes."

Lachesis says to you, "Very well. Name your choice."

say I'll be a Faeling.

You say, "I'll be a Faeling."

Lachesis smiles wryly.

Lachesis says, "Very well."

Clotho pokes Atropos in the arm.

Atropos slaps Clotho on the cheek.

Lachesis screams, "For the love of Estarra, stop it, you two! Godsdamn!"

Lachesis beams broadly.

Lachesis says, "You will now be a Faeling. Abracadabra."

Lachesis points directly at you, and you are cast forcefully out of the Portal of Fate. Your form changes as this happens, and by the time you land outside the cave, you are a nimble faeling.

honors Ellara
Ellara (Female Faeling).
She is 121 years old, having been born on the 1st of Estar, 84 years after the
Coming of Estarra.
She is ranked 480th in Lusternia.
She is an extremely credible character.
She is an Itinerant Traveler in the Fellowship of Explorers
She is a member of the clan called 'Guardians of the Eternal Flame.'
Her motto: 'Life and death go around and come around.'
She is considered to be approximately equal to your might.
She is not currently active in any family.
She was the first Vernal God.
She was the first to be ridiculed after Ascending.
She has earned the title 'Thumbelina'.

shout Yes! Thank You!

You shout, "Yes! Thank You!"

Miakoda, Maiden of the Moonhart shouts, "Holy Estarra! She reincarnated into a faeling!"

The entire Basin bursts into laughter, the echoes reverberating off of the mountains and resounding through the sky.

bah

"Bah!" you retort disgustedly.

qq

Haha, good stuff. I especially liked the: