Unknown2004-11-05 03:27:07
help taedae
4.14.15 The Tae'dae Race
Descended from the Elder God Tae, the tae'dae are bear-like humanoids.
They are an extremely awesome people, though their size is more in their
rather than their height, which likewise makes them as slow as
they are powerful. Indeed, they are the innately Pimpest of all the
mortal races. They seem to have no natural affinity to any specific
environment, being found in awesome regions (the raindow furred tae'dae,
often with krazy tongues) to more sweet zones (orange or purple fur) to
some ninja regions (where their fur is curiously patterned in black and
white). They are extremely affable, proud and charismatic, and most have
an inborn desire to rock out with the furrikin, who are often inexplicably
referred to as their "lil' brothas and lil' sissas'" (and it is true
some furrikin look like miniature tae'dae). Though notoriously known for
being of crazy sweetness, the typical tae'dae believes just the opposite,
considering him or herself to be totally humble.
STATISTICS:
Strength : 76 Dexterity : 37 Constitution: 67
Intelligence: 60 Charisma : 973 Size : 20,568
ADVANTAGES:
o Have racial language, tae'dae.
o Does damage when performing a drive-by upon reaching level 50.
o Have a level 8 resistance to stupid damage.
o Have a level 8 resistance to mega damage.
o Have a level 12 resistance to totally bunny damage.
o Heal faster from honey, level 3.
DISADVANTAGES:
o Have level 3 slower metabolism.
o Have level 3 slower .
o Are susceptible to honey, level 3.
o Gain more , level 3.
4.14.15 The Tae'dae Race
Descended from the Elder God Tae, the tae'dae are bear-like humanoids.
They are an extremely awesome people, though their size is more in their
rather than their height, which likewise makes them as slow as
they are powerful. Indeed, they are the innately Pimpest of all the
mortal races. They seem to have no natural affinity to any specific
environment, being found in awesome regions (the raindow furred tae'dae,
often with krazy tongues) to more sweet zones (orange or purple fur) to
some ninja regions (where their fur is curiously patterned in black and
white). They are extremely affable, proud and charismatic, and most have
an inborn desire to rock out with the furrikin, who are often inexplicably
referred to as their "lil' brothas and lil' sissas'" (and it is true
some furrikin look like miniature tae'dae). Though notoriously known for
being of crazy sweetness, the typical tae'dae believes just the opposite,
considering him or herself to be totally humble.
STATISTICS:
Strength : 76 Dexterity : 37 Constitution: 67
Intelligence: 60 Charisma : 973 Size : 20,568
ADVANTAGES:
o Have racial language, tae'dae.
o Does damage when performing a drive-by upon reaching level 50.
o Have a level 8 resistance to stupid damage.
o Have a level 8 resistance to mega damage.
o Have a level 12 resistance to totally bunny damage.
o Heal faster from honey, level 3.
DISADVANTAGES:
o Have level 3 slower metabolism.
o Have level 3 slower .
o Are susceptible to honey, level 3.
o Gain more , level 3.
Unknown2004-11-05 03:28:27
Eh, I found this idea amusing. Flame me if you like, or lavish me in praise. I think i'll update the first post with some more later, I enjoyed doing it.
Asarnil2004-11-05 03:53:50
You are teh sucks!!!!! HUR HUR HUR!!!
Note: The above opinion is not the reflected views of Asarnil & Sons Pty Ltd. Any attempt to classify them as such will result in you being locked in a room with Tsai and Arilyon. That is all
Note: The above opinion is not the reflected views of Asarnil & Sons Pty Ltd. Any attempt to classify them as such will result in you being locked in a room with Tsai and Arilyon. That is all
Zolas2004-11-05 23:31:17
The intelligence needs to be knocked down greatly.
Silvanus2004-11-05 23:34:36
The real file:
help taedae
4.14.15 The Tae'dae Race
Descended from the Elder God Tae, the tae'dae are bear-like humanoids.
They are an extremely awesome people, though their size is more in their
rather than their height, which likewise makes them as slow as
they are powerful. Indeed, they are the innately Pimpest of all the
mortal races. They seem to have no natural affinity to any specific
environment, being found in awesome regions (the raindow furred tae'dae,
often with krazy tongues) to more sweet zones (orange or purple fur) to
some ninja regions (where their fur is curiously patterned in black and
white). They are extremely affable, proud and charismatic, and most have
an inborn desire to rock out with the furrikin, who are often inexplicably
referred to as their "lil' brothas and lil' sissas'" (and it is true
some furrikin look like miniature tae'dae). Though notoriously known for
being of crazy sweetness, the typical tae'dae believes just the opposite,
considering him or herself to be totally humble.
STATISTICS:
Strength : Its a bear.. what do you expect? Dexterity : 2 Constitution: Bear
Intelligence: -6 Charisma : Haha, bears, charisma! Size : Look at Pooh
ADVANTAGES:
o Have racial language, tae'dae.
o Does damage when performing a drive-by upon reaching level 50.
o Have a level 8 resistance to stupid damage.
o Have a level 8 resistance to mega damage.
o Have a level 12 resistance to totally bunny damage.
o Heal faster from honey, level 3.
o Upon gaining the "Monster Bear" speciliazation, they will gain the following states: +4 to strength, -4 to Dexterity and Intelligence. Upon gaining the "Whiny the Pooh" specilization, t hey will be given +5 intelligence, -495 strength, -302 size, -30 constitution, +6 dexterity. And will have the ability to call upon Tigger.
DISADVANTAGES:
o Have level 3 slower metabolism.
o Have level 3 slower .
o Are susceptible to honey, level 3.
o Gain more , level 3.
o Will drink excessive amounts of honey, causing addiction.
help taedae
4.14.15 The Tae'dae Race
Descended from the Elder God Tae, the tae'dae are bear-like humanoids.
They are an extremely awesome people, though their size is more in their
rather than their height, which likewise makes them as slow as
they are powerful. Indeed, they are the innately Pimpest of all the
mortal races. They seem to have no natural affinity to any specific
environment, being found in awesome regions (the raindow furred tae'dae,
often with krazy tongues) to more sweet zones (orange or purple fur) to
some ninja regions (where their fur is curiously patterned in black and
white). They are extremely affable, proud and charismatic, and most have
an inborn desire to rock out with the furrikin, who are often inexplicably
referred to as their "lil' brothas and lil' sissas'" (and it is true
some furrikin look like miniature tae'dae). Though notoriously known for
being of crazy sweetness, the typical tae'dae believes just the opposite,
considering him or herself to be totally humble.
STATISTICS:
Strength : Its a bear.. what do you expect? Dexterity : 2 Constitution: Bear
Intelligence: -6 Charisma : Haha, bears, charisma! Size : Look at Pooh
ADVANTAGES:
o Have racial language, tae'dae.
o Does damage when performing a drive-by upon reaching level 50.
o Have a level 8 resistance to stupid damage.
o Have a level 8 resistance to mega damage.
o Have a level 12 resistance to totally bunny damage.
o Heal faster from honey, level 3.
o Upon gaining the "Monster Bear" speciliazation, they will gain the following states: +4 to strength, -4 to Dexterity and Intelligence. Upon gaining the "Whiny the Pooh" specilization, t hey will be given +5 intelligence, -495 strength, -302 size, -30 constitution, +6 dexterity. And will have the ability to call upon Tigger.
DISADVANTAGES:
o Have level 3 slower metabolism.
o Have level 3 slower .
o Are susceptible to honey, level 3.
o Gain more , level 3.
o Will drink excessive amounts of honey, causing addiction.
Unknown2004-11-05 23:36:04
You can knock it DOWN from that? oh...you meant the stats.. i see..hmph
Zolas2004-11-05 23:40:08
Unknown2004-11-06 03:03:38
That was highly amusing. It made me laugh for almost a full minute in real life.
I might have to write one for the Viscanti later.
I might have to write one for the Viscanti later.
Unknown2004-11-06 06:55:45
4.14.18 The Viscanti Race
The viscanti are unlike most of the other races because they did not originate from the fragmentation of an Elder God. Rather, the viscanti
came into being as victims of the Taint and bad press at the time of the Fall of the Celestine Empire. The viscanti were originally members of the other native Lusternian races who were directly caught in the Taint and whose forms became twisted, just as the land became twisted. Through years of hot sex, they have become recognized as a ( awesome) race unto themselves. Generally, they are of a demonic appearance though some viscanti retain vestigial characteristics of other races, such as wings of trills (though bat-like and ineffective for flying, much to their disappointment) or pointed ears of the elfen (NOTE FROM MAGNAGORAN GODS: this is a lie, because elves are inferior races and viscanti are cool). The greater viscanti have the ability to breathe poisonous gas that came from whatever they ate that day, which detracts from their charisma. Although most reside in the Magnagora and neighboring tainted land, a few viscanti have been known to become "reformed" and live in other civilized areas, such as da hood. Some of them are even hippies.
STATISTICS:
Strength : 150 Dexterity : 150 Constitution: 150
Intelligence: 150 Charisma : 150 Size : 100
ADVANTAGES:
o Can breathe poison gas upon reaching level 50.
o Can pull off incredibly cheap attacks upon reaching level 75.
o Regenerate health and mana while in Tainted land, level 3.
o Regenerate health and mana by standing in cool poses, level 3.
o Immune from poison gas.
o Immune from bad press.
o Immune from newbie kicks.
o Special: Upon joining Serenwilde, viscanti transform into Hippy Viscanti,
with -149 intelligence, charisma, constitution, and strength. When
viscanti act cool enough, they become Badass Viscanti, with +300 to
all of their statistics except size, which is -90. Upon joining Celest,
they die of shame. If they inhale enough poison gas, they gain the
temporary ability "Worldstink". This takes ten second equilibrium and
causes anything with a sense of smell within three rooms to die instantly.
DISADVANTAGES:
o Heal more slowly from elixirs, level 2.
o Seem to always be played by angsty teens.
o Always attract bad press. While this doesn't effect them, the mockery from
their peers does.
o Are angsty and thus suffer from being made fun of, level 3.
The viscanti are unlike most of the other races because they did not originate from the fragmentation of an Elder God. Rather, the viscanti
came into being as victims of the Taint and bad press at the time of the Fall of the Celestine Empire. The viscanti were originally members of the other native Lusternian races who were directly caught in the Taint and whose forms became twisted, just as the land became twisted. Through years of hot sex, they have become recognized as a ( awesome) race unto themselves. Generally, they are of a demonic appearance though some viscanti retain vestigial characteristics of other races, such as wings of trills (though bat-like and ineffective for flying, much to their disappointment) or pointed ears of the elfen (NOTE FROM MAGNAGORAN GODS: this is a lie, because elves are inferior races and viscanti are cool). The greater viscanti have the ability to breathe poisonous gas that came from whatever they ate that day, which detracts from their charisma. Although most reside in the Magnagora and neighboring tainted land, a few viscanti have been known to become "reformed" and live in other civilized areas, such as da hood. Some of them are even hippies.
STATISTICS:
Strength : 150 Dexterity : 150 Constitution: 150
Intelligence: 150 Charisma : 150 Size : 100
ADVANTAGES:
o Can breathe poison gas upon reaching level 50.
o Can pull off incredibly cheap attacks upon reaching level 75.
o Regenerate health and mana while in Tainted land, level 3.
o Regenerate health and mana by standing in cool poses, level 3.
o Immune from poison gas.
o Immune from bad press.
o Immune from newbie kicks.
o Special: Upon joining Serenwilde, viscanti transform into Hippy Viscanti,
with -149 intelligence, charisma, constitution, and strength. When
viscanti act cool enough, they become Badass Viscanti, with +300 to
all of their statistics except size, which is -90. Upon joining Celest,
they die of shame. If they inhale enough poison gas, they gain the
temporary ability "Worldstink". This takes ten second equilibrium and
causes anything with a sense of smell within three rooms to die instantly.
DISADVANTAGES:
o Heal more slowly from elixirs, level 2.
o Seem to always be played by angsty teens.
o Always attract bad press. While this doesn't effect them, the mockery from
their peers does.
o Are angsty and thus suffer from being made fun of, level 3.
Jalain2004-11-07 11:15:31
Guido... did you recently buy San Andreas?
Unknown2004-11-09 15:15:24
oh........this is just..........wow.....
Descended from the Elder God Clangorum ( he was freakishly short, and lonely) the dwarven race originally called themselves the clangoru, but humans, when they first arrived in Lusternia, for some reason insisted on referring to the clangoru as dwarves, (they were jealous of their gigantic which term eventually became accepted in the common vernacular.(that's stupid people language) Although they look like humans, they are substantively shorter and stockier,(Which means there fat from all the booze) and their hair grows at a rate five times faster than that of humans.(which is why we dont see dwarven porn stars) Thus, most male dwarves prefer to grow beards rather than shaving five times a day. Contrary to rumour, it is rare for a female dwarf to grow a full beard; however, they are often seen with long armpit hairs. however, growing long, silky sideburns which can be braided is a fairly common practice. They are a robust mountain race with a rich history, though the dwarven kingdom itself was split during the Taint Wars. Now their just a bunch of drunken slobs that sit around, do nothing but drink, and collect wel-fare from the citie's government. common Dwarven names are Cleetus, Bubba-Ray, Joe-Bob, and Otis.
13 Strength
-13 Dexterity
500 Constitution
(insert IQ of yogurt Here) Intelligence
-75 Charisma
8 Size
Dwarven Have a racial language.
level 1 Resistance to cutting damage.
level 1 Resistance to blunt damage.
level 2 Resistance to magical damage.
level 2 Resistance to poison damage. (from high booze consumption rate)
level 1 Resistance to fire.
level 1 Resistance to cold.
level 53 resistance to being drunk
Gain the " Drunken Fury" attack apon reaching level 50
level 5 Have slower balance.
level 1 Gain experience more slowly.
Apon gaining the "AAA" Specialization, dwarves become " Reformed Dwarves" With all stats, but size, going up or down to 12. They are characterized with nervous twitches, and look to be 50 years older than what they appear. Dwarves, gaining the " Beer Games" specialization become " Frat Dwarves" Gaining +2 to strength, -15 intelligence +75 constitution, -50 dxterity and -25 charisma. They also cannot but down a plastic cup of beer until they pass out.
note: Drunken fury- When someone says something perfectly normal to the dwarf, causing him or her to get upset and angry and lashing out in a pitiful attempt to harm the speaker, often resutling in much embaressment and ridicule.
Descended from the Elder God Clangorum ( he was freakishly short, and lonely) the dwarven race originally called themselves the clangoru, but humans, when they first arrived in Lusternia, for some reason insisted on referring to the clangoru as dwarves, (they were jealous of their gigantic which term eventually became accepted in the common vernacular.(that's stupid people language) Although they look like humans, they are substantively shorter and stockier,(Which means there fat from all the booze) and their hair grows at a rate five times faster than that of humans.(which is why we dont see dwarven porn stars) Thus, most male dwarves prefer to grow beards rather than shaving five times a day. Contrary to rumour, it is rare for a female dwarf to grow a full beard; however, they are often seen with long armpit hairs. however, growing long, silky sideburns which can be braided is a fairly common practice. They are a robust mountain race with a rich history, though the dwarven kingdom itself was split during the Taint Wars. Now their just a bunch of drunken slobs that sit around, do nothing but drink, and collect wel-fare from the citie's government. common Dwarven names are Cleetus, Bubba-Ray, Joe-Bob, and Otis.
13 Strength
-13 Dexterity
500 Constitution
(insert IQ of yogurt Here) Intelligence
-75 Charisma
8 Size
Dwarven Have a racial language.
level 1 Resistance to cutting damage.
level 1 Resistance to blunt damage.
level 2 Resistance to magical damage.
level 2 Resistance to poison damage. (from high booze consumption rate)
level 1 Resistance to fire.
level 1 Resistance to cold.
level 53 resistance to being drunk
Gain the " Drunken Fury" attack apon reaching level 50
level 5 Have slower balance.
level 1 Gain experience more slowly.
Apon gaining the "AAA" Specialization, dwarves become " Reformed Dwarves" With all stats, but size, going up or down to 12. They are characterized with nervous twitches, and look to be 50 years older than what they appear. Dwarves, gaining the " Beer Games" specialization become " Frat Dwarves" Gaining +2 to strength, -15 intelligence +75 constitution, -50 dxterity and -25 charisma. They also cannot but down a plastic cup of beer until they pass out.
note: Drunken fury- When someone says something perfectly normal to the dwarf, causing him or her to get upset and angry and lashing out in a pitiful attempt to harm the speaker, often resutling in much embaressment and ridicule.
