While giving a patient a COMPLETE bed bath, the confused patient sings out,

"Workin' at the car wash.."
"Workin' at the car wash yeah.."

"Have I passed away yet?"
Nurse1: "No dear"
"damn.."

wow, those are both depressing, the first one very funny deperessing though.

Favourite customer of the day.. "Can I buy this? How much does this cost? Can I take a pamphlet? What's this for? Does this come in brown? ...."

It's a shop, there's a price tag on it, go for it, it says on the tag, the brown is sitting right next to the black. Thank you, go away now.


EDIT: Oh, oh. Then there was this lady that came in and wanted to buy two pots. They were on sale for $25 each.
"Can I get these for $20 each?"
"Uhh, sorry, no. They're on sale for $25."
"Oh, come on, surely you can do them for $20."
"Sorry, ma'am, we're already making a loss on them on sale."
"...But I just need them for either side of the door of my caravan!"
"..."
"Fine, fine, I'll take them for $25. *gets out Visa Gold card*"
"*resists urge to strangle*

People. Ugh.

You wouldn't imagine some of the calls I get... I work at a major insurance company, and well... we get some wierd callers.

I got to listen to an old call about some mental lady, talking about her husband putting her in an institution, tainted cigarettes, a shirt she ordered, and "rediculous mail."

But, if I worked in a bookstore, it would go something like...

Customer: "Sir, can you direct me to the self-help section?"

Me: "No, damnit. That would defeat the point."

Some people come from cultures where a Price tag is just a suggestion. Its amazing how little we haggle in america since everyone knows you sell your stuff for twice as much as you buy it.

This bookstore I work at, I was asked to search for a book, so I looked it up on the local store database. This guy who asked me to look was probably 75-80. I said I couldn't find it in any stores we have, but I could order it. He then proceded to explain to me how I could use 'the whole web' to find his book. He used that phrase repeatedly, despite my explaining that we were not connected, in fact, to the 'whole web', just the hundreds of stores nationwide that said his book didn't exist.


Old people.

I can just picture the conversation that old man had before he got there

Grandson: yeah everything is on the internet
Grandpa: So I can just go to a store and get whatever i want?
grandson: yeah if your on a network you can search the whole web for what your looking for.

Nah my favourite was a videostore, there was three in the same suburb and everyone brought movies back to us. Except they weren't our movies Then there is the 'friends' borrowing movies that goes like
Me: 'password?'
Them: 'uhh try this ...'
Don't work so they get on the mobile to ring their friend that has the membership.. Heh for that amount of time they could of joined up.
Or you have the next.. Lost movie yet try to hire another one without playing a 'lost' fee

Sometimes, coworkers are worse. I had this one coworker who was pretty elderly (I never asked her age, but I'd guess she's about 60-70). Every day in the winter (and the winters are long here in Michigan) she'd turn the heat way up, and I do mean way up. It was sweltering in that section of the building. In the summers, she'd turn the temperature so low that I had to leave a coat in the building just so I wouldn't freeze whenever I went to work.

Me: Do you have any hearing problems
Patient: What?
Me: Do you have any... nevermind....*Starts to make a checkmark on her flowsheet*
Patient: Haha just kidding! *smirk*



score: Patient 1 Me 0

*grumble*

Haha, got one with a great sense of humour there

I work as a deli slicer at the moment. I. Hate. Old. People.

"I'd like a quarter pound of turkey, sliced THIN"
"What kind of turkey?"
"Uh... turkey."
"We have seventeen kinds of turkey; would you like King's oven roasted? fresh roasted?"
"Can I try a slice of each of those."

Five minutes later, after finishing with the turkey.

"I'd like a quarter pound of ham, sliced THIN."
"I'd like a quarter pound of roast beef, sliced THIN."

(The next time I hear 'sliced THIN' I want to strangle someone).
____________

Or, how about when it's just not thin enough, despite being the absolute thinnest you can make it?

Or the customers that come at... 9:55 PM (we close at 10 PM, and that's when we're supposed to be walking out the door, if possible), ordering three sandwiches. Fun stuff.

Ugh.

What video store do you work at Annelia? Most of the ones I know of in Adelaide have about a $20 limit before being required to fork out cash for lost/overdues

School quote of the day, courtesy of my middle school director from hell, during a friend's (unjustified) detention;

"I handle myself in certain ways."

As an aside, I once had $250 dollars in late fees, $125 for each video. Ridiculous. That's how you peoples make your money.

Patient reading a sign: Nursing.. the..link ... between science and... *squints*.. insanity.

Me: No dear that says Humanity

Patient: Oh I'm sorry ... humanity..

I continue walking down the hall with the patient and I meet up with another nurse who enjoys MUDS. The patient heard me talking about my demesne and how it totally messed up this guy (Guido) tee hee.


Patient: *cough* maybe I was right the first time.

That's too funny! keep them coming please

Not much, but..

I'm a KFC boy, I was working out the front on a close one night, so, at 9:50, after the rush of people wanting free food, a man comes in and orders a bucket.. so I grab it, bring it back to him.

Me: Here you go, Sir.
Customer: ..this chicken looks like it has been fried. I thought the ad said this was roasted.

I was on Crown St in Surrey Hills, NSW..



This particular video hadn't been back for about a year (nor had the customer), and it was only a weekly which costs next to nothing nowadays (aslong as you still can get them).. Depending the movie and if its still attainable from wholesalers the price should be a max of $40 for video.. looking at DVD and well thats more..

But late fees, yer thats how we make our money Also knowing what movies are coming out when and getting them asap and ordering enough copies as well.. You time it right each new release can make the price we paid + profit in the first week.
New release 10 copies about can make over 200$ profit a week