Funky description

by Unknown

Back to Chronicles of the Basin.

Unknown2005-02-05 00:08:36
I wrote this completely by accident with Jelaludin's accent and was going to fix it, then realized it was somewhat neat. Who thinks I should keep it this way and who thinks I should change it to a normal kind?

QUOTE
He is a graceful undead elfen and is a calm looking fellow, quietly handsome.
His lang hair is braided and he wears mild cosmetics of viscanti style, red
around his eyes and tainted earth streaks on his cheeks like stylized tears.
His eyes is green and he is o' average build thoo somewhit thin. His pale face
almost seems til float above his dark clothing, and ae great sadness emanates
from him. He is wearing a pair of runic black sandals, a moonstone and garnet
ring, a long black leather coat lined with crimson silk, a pair of blackened
chain mail leggings, a thick platinum ring, and a shadowy moonstone cloak.
Shiri2005-02-05 00:18:08
I'd say change it. They're seeing the thing, not hearing you reading it out to them.
Ceres2005-02-05 13:51:29
Wait, this is a serious question?

Don't keep it happydance.gif
Singollo2005-02-05 20:54:15
Just remove the dialect. It's good that its short though, I think that many people have the misperception that longer is better. A longer description not only won't be completely read by most people, but also doesn't tie in with the majority of denizen descriptions. You can accomplish the same effect in four sentences that you can in eight in many situations.
Unknown2005-02-05 23:12:59
Yeah, I changed it to the normal spellings.

I personally really liked the goofy spelling though tongue.gif

I rarely read all of a long description, hence I try to keep mine short and to the point.