The Pool of Stars.
This location is flooded with shallow, crystal clear water. The bright sun
shines down, blanketing you with its life-giving warmth. Meeting in the radiant
heart of New Celest, the broad city streets come together in a large, open
plaza of marbled stone. Rising in the centre of the plaza is a structure of
noble and luminescent pillars which suspend a round, ring-shaped platform
twenty feet above the light-studded surface of the pool below. The atmosphere
within the structure and around the pool bristles with a warm, electrical
energy, giving a slightly disorienting sense of dizziness and euphoria. A
gradually ascending stairway winds its way about the inside of the pillars,
leading towards the upper level of the structure and offering a bird's eye view
of the pool. An enormously wide circular pool, as dark as the night sky,
glitters softly between the columns. His form suffused with soft light, the
Keeper of the Pool of Stars stands here attentively.
You see exits leading north, northeast, east, southeast, south, southwest,
west, northwest, and up (open door).
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

msg fain gai.
You sent the following message to Fain: Gai.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

The Divine voice of Fain, of the Red Masque echoes in your head, "Excuse me?"
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

You tell Fain, of the Red Masque, "Dude, i'm going to own you."
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

A bolt of burning blue fire slams into the ground near where you stand, a
warning from Fain. The next one may not miss...
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

shout Hah, my mad dexterity bonuses WTFPWNED Fain!
You shout, "Hah, my mad dexterity bonuses WTFPWNED Fain!"
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

Fain appears, and a whole lot of crazy crap happens. Like, there's a bunch of screaming and red lights, and all the guys go totally nuts because this badass Divine just popped the hell in from nowhere.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

Fain, of the Red Masque says to you, "What is wrong with you, Guido Flagg? You have truly gone mad."
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

say to fain you don't even know how to spell 'mask', so STFU.
You say to Fain, of the Red Masque, "You don't even know how to spell 'mask', so STFU."
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

Fain narrows his eyes and conjures a midnight blade in His hands, twirling it rapidly above his head.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

Fain says, "I'm tired of your antics, Bear. I hope you enjoy oblivion."
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

teleport nexus
You tug upon the aether strands around you, searching for one that connects to
Your Mom's House.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p lrxp-

You have recovered equilibrium.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

You teleport along the aether strands to Your Mom's House.
Your Mom's House.
This is where your Mom lives. It's basically a cabin, with some
other crap in it. Your Mom is here, looking disturbingly hot.
You see exits leading northeast, south, and west.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

ih
"mom5351" your mom
Number of objects: 1
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

look mom
She looks like half of you. Y'know, because you got half of her genes. She's divorced now and has, like, twelve boyfriends. That's pretty hot, I guess.
I wouldn't screw with her if I were you. Remember what she did to your cousin when she caught him with your older brother? Erion didn't stand a ****ing chance.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

greet mom
You greet your Mom with a sincere smile.
Your Mom says to you, "Guido, why the hell don't you visit me anymore? I met this great guy named Valek. He's got a hot bod'."
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

shock
You open your eyes wide with shock.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

punch mom
You thrust your arm out in a quick jab at your Mom.
You connect!
Dude, you just hit your ****ing Mom! Kickass! +100% Karma!
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

You see your Mom yell, "HOLY ****! Honey, **** our son up!"

Daevos arrives from the south.

look daevos
He's just about the biggest, most badass Viscanti ever. Oh, and he's your stepdad now. That's some crazy ****, right there. He's wearing a muscle shirt and some tight jeans.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

Daevos says, "Bah."
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

Daevos wields an AK-47 in his left hand.
2120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

Daevos takes aim and lets a hail of bullets fly at your head. You feel a handful of them puncture your skull, and for some reason bad rap music begins to play in the background.
1120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

diag
You are:
You have a cap busted in yo' ass, crackah.
1120h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

You bleed 437 health.
683h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

say I hate you, mom.
You say, "I hate you, mom."
683h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

Daevos snarls.
683h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

Daevos takes aim and lets a hail of bullets fly at your racial heritage. You can feel the threads of fate about you being undone as everything real and unreal is torn apart in a storm of stereotypes. The last words you hear before perishing are, "Sit yo' ass down, white bread, and let's roll! We out!"
0h, 0m, 0e, 0p elrxp-

The Divine voice of Estarra, the Eternal echoes in your head, "You really suck at endings."
0h, 0m, 0e, 0p elrxp-

pray for salvation

This topic title reminded me of the movie "The Day the Earth Stood Still."

Anyone ever see it?

Rofl that is the funniest log that Guido has ever done

You shout, "Hah, my mad dexterity bonuses WTFPWNED Fain!"

1683h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-

say I hate you, mom.
You say, "I hate you, mom."
683h, 1385m, 2015e, 10p elrxp-


Confessing hate for mom: -1000hp.

Guido, you have some serious problems...I think you need to seek professional help.....I mean why in Nil would Daevos want your mom? She ain't all that.

What's it they say don't judge a book by it's cover? (typed don't judge a cover by it's book at first )

Daevos has weird tastes *sagenod*

Wrong.

Daevos has very good taste.

Didn't look his like gun did much damage, he should have used his swords.

Keep 'em coming Guido

Can we get a section on the foums title "Guido's funnies?"

I want a longer onnnneeee... One that has me in it.

And me.. But then, Guido should just do a Lusternia Apoc, with everyone's name dieing all at once.

Too much San Andreas, Guido.

Still. Funny.

...bump? Watch me do it to all the Guido funnies!

Ya know I was gonna bump all his threads the other day. Weird.

that still makes me laugh out loud especially the

look daevos

He's just about the biggest, most badass Viscanti ever. Oh, and he's your stepdad now. That's some crazy ****, right there. He's wearing a muscle shirt and some tight jeans.

Aaha. I guess only Pandas would grasp the subtle suggestion about my cousin.

Eh? I got it.