"Never insult the opposite gender, for then thus that will begin the end of your healthy lifestyle. An example of such is as follows:

Joe Smith: You are the only girl I have seen with a moustach!
(Several things may happen during this period of time, none of which benefical to Joe Smith. Let us list a couple of things.)
Rose Smith would either:
-Slap him
-Behead him
-Get others severly pissed off from him
-Just move away.

So remember kids, never insult the opposite gender."

-Taken from Survival Guide 101 pg.1
by Lord Insultalllot and Dame Whogivesa(cencored)

Can anyone else help me add to make a list of these things?

"Never venture out to enemy grounds to piss off a trans blademaster. Case study example, Nameless:

Nameless went off to serenwilde and began to run back and forth when repeatedly told to (f**k) off. He began to spit at the tree, infuriating those around him. What has been done could be translated into this:

-Piss off players around him
-Get a haymaker into his head.

So remember kids, never venture out to enemy grounds to piss off a trans blademaster."

-Taken from Survival Guide 101 pg. 2
By Lord Insultalllot and Dame Whogivesa(cencored)

"Never attack a shielded person before razing them. Case study Tenebrae:

He tried to haymaker an offending person's head, yet did not realize that that person was shielded. Effects:

-Massive bloodloss
-Missing a scalp and ear
-Missing a head.

So remember kids, never attack a shielded person."

-Taken from Survival Guide 101 pg. 3
By Lord Insultalllot and Dame Whogivesa(cencored)

"Never flip the bird at a god. Need I say more? Case study Joe Bloke:

Joe Bloke: bird Hajamin.
Hajamin stares at you for a while before looking back at his work.
Joe Bloke was slain by the rightous fury of Hajamin.

So remember kids, never flip the bird at a god."

-Taken from Survival Guide 101 pg.4
By Lord Insultalllot and Dame Whogivesa(cencored)

"Never tell a goddess She's putting on som extra pounds."

Case Study: Dumb Novice

Dumb novice blinks at Viravain.
Dumb novice says, "You're packing on some extra weight there. Are You pregnant?"
Viravain blinks at Dumb Novice.
Brennan Stormcrow slowly inches away.

Deathsense: Dumb novice has been slained by Viravain, the Mistress of the Web.

So remember kids, telling a goddess She's gained weight is a bad idea.

Always turn off all aetherwaves when you are doing something important or what may cause embarressment for you. Case study Joe Shmoe:

Joe Shzmoe was participating in something called mudsex. He forgot to turn off all aetherwaves and some messages came up on the city channel as well as the market. This could be considered as embarressing for Joe Schzmoe. For more details containing the real incident, contact Amaru.

So remember kids, Always turn off all aetherwaves when in the proccess of something important.

Never plan to raid a city if you are surrounded by newbies. Case study: Lame Joe.

Lame Joe: ct Does anyone want to raid Magnagora?
seven newbies: ct Okay, lets go....
seven newbies: ct How will we raid?
Lame Joe: ct How many influencers are there here?
seven newbies: We are warriors, we don't need to know how to influence.
Newbie 1 tells you, "I have innoccence, how can I help?"
Newbie 2 tells you, "You can't influence the ship captain."
Newbie 3 tells you, "How can I be of use?"
Newbie 4 tells you, "I am at apprentice in influence, can I help?"
Newbie 5 tells you, "I am at lightning in knighthood..."
Newbie 6 tells you, "I am by your side."
Newbie 7 tells you, "I cannot attack, but I can be a portal target if you want."
Lame Joe: ct Does anyone not have innocence?
Lame Joe: ct It is dishonourable if we use that.
ct: *silence*
Lame Joe: Okay, Serenwilde is not going to help us.
ct: *silence*
Lame Joe: ack... nevermind

Remember kids, never plan a raid if you are surrounded by newbies.

Which MUD have you been playing on?

Didn't you know it's a hanging offense on any IRE game to turn off GT or GNT, and a minor felony to turn off CT?

Why not just advise newbies to impale themselves on sticks in order to avoid the painful embarassment of halitosis?

Heh. I'd rather he have it off than somehow mischan a mudsex emote on CT and Market like he did before.

-cleaves vix in half-

Thank you, for being the cruel cruel person I wasn't willing to be at 2PM.

Eh? 2pm?

Please keep this to private msgs.

Always turn CT off when chatting in a way that you wouldnt like others to hear on a clan channel.

Reason 1: Patrons dont like it when you talk about them on ooc chans and accidentally mistell it, so unless you have a sexy hunk to save your rear by saying he was dreamweaving you, be damn sure to have CT off.

Reason 2: People tend to look at you funny after youve just mistelled one side of an entire conversation when it consists of sentances like, "So he shoves his arm up to the elbow in the other guys bum and then... etc.", or ,"Yeah, Ive done that before, but it's so much kinkier if you do it in public."

Reason 3: Using violent application of clamps and a cattle-prod to sensitive areas as a threat may be fine on certain OOC channels, but you always wind up with a LOT of questions to answer that you generally would like to avoid when you mistell it to CT.

Take it from me, who has learned the hard way to turn CT off when talking on CLT.

EDIT: Watch your language. ~Shiri~

Hey Tenebrae, how about:

Don't have hardcore, graphic mudsex on public channels.

Also. After misstelling harcore, graphic mudsex on a public channel, do not spam the word MISS twenty times in caps on said channel.

How long do you want to live? As in live a long and healthy life?