From the Joke Contest:
17 (Raezon: 8, Viravain: 9)
11 (Raezon: 9, Viravain: 2)
quote=Luthe
Luthe d'Murani, Dog of War says, "Whats the difference between a manse and
normal space?"
Luthe d'Murani, Dog of War says, "In normal space you don't have to worry about
walking on Amaru and Malicia."
/Quote
10 points (Raezon: 6, Viravain: 4)
quote=Narsrim
Heir of Ellindel, Narsrim D'cente` Moonlit Avenger says, "Why does Roberto (the
clam in the Inner Sea) not give to charity?"
Heir of Ellindel, Narsrim D'cente` Moonlit Avenger says, "He's very shellfish!"
/quote
-a lot (Raezon: -N, Viravain: -13)
16 (Raezon: 9, Viravain: 7)
17 (Raezon: 8, Viravain: 9)
-2,273.65 (Raezon: 1, Viravain: -2,274.65)
0 (Raezon: 0, Viravain: 0)
0 (Raezon: -1, Viravain: 1)
10 (Raezon: 5, Viravain: 5)
You see Raezon, the Forbidden shout, "Spindle."
You see Raezon, the Forbidden shout, "What's this about you and pork."
10 (Raezon: 4, Virvain: 6)
quote=Dari
Acolyte Dari d'Erlette says, "I was basking in the sun one day in the desert.
My girlfriend Bernie came up to me and said, "Dari, how do you know when the
sun is going to shine?" I said,"Bernie, every morning I look over at my
boyfriend, it it's hanging to the left, I know it's gonna be a sunny day.""
Acolyte Dari d'Erlette says, "If it's laying to the right, I know it's gonna
rain." Bernie said, "Well, what do you do if it's standing straight up?""
Acolyte Dari d'Erlette says, "I said, "Who in the Basin wants to go out on a
day like that?""
/quote
Not much (Raezon: confusing, Viravain: 1 (the same as the 'measurements'))
quote=Joli
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, "So a lute player dies. When he
reaches is everlasting reward and his thread has been properly snipped, the guy
in the robe says, "You're going to spend eternity with this combo, okay?
There's a bass player named 'Raezon' and a pianist named 'Lacostian', and any
day now we expect this 'Hajamin' guy to show up with his drums."
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, ""Wow!" the guy says, "I never
imagined heaven would be this good.""
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, "The man in the robe says, "This
is Nil, not Celestia. Kidaen is the lead singer.""
Kidaen, the Empyrean Minstrel says to Joli, "We'll talk about this later, and
our affair is definitely over now, you can find someone else to allow you to be
their slave."
/quote
Raezon gives a thin, short skirt of deep emerald silk to Hajamin, the Golden
Lord.
Raezon, the Forbidden says, "You left this lying around last time."
20 (Raezon: 10, Viravain: 10)
quote=Murphy
(Some cruddy old overused joke that I've heard too many times and never found funny)
/quote
-unrated-
Minijokes said all at once, not really rated:
quote
Heir of Ellindel, Narsrim D'cente` Moonlit Avenger says, "What did the
necromancer get when he was late for dinner?
Heir of Ellindel, Narsrim D'cente` Moonlit Avenger says, "The cold shoulder!"
Acolyte Dari d'Erlette says, "I was talking to a friend of mine one day and
finally I asked him when did he know he was gay? He said when his closed
started developing fur lining with pink carpeting."
Luthe d'Murani, Dog of War says, "A Igasho walks into a bar and takes a seat at
the bar and orders a rum. He looks around sees a bunch of couples sitting
around and a very beautiful faeling sitting next to him. He turns and says
Whats a pretty lady like you doing here along?"
Luthe d'Murani, Dog of War says, "She answers quickly saying I'm not here
alone, he replies so wheres your date? to which she simply replies You sat on
him."
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, "One of the more pert and pretty
undersecretary, who will remain unnamed, took her troubles to me one day at my
office while I worked."
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, ""Magister, you must help me," she
pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young novices here,
I end up breaking him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a
week.""
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, ""I see," I nodded. "And you, no
doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter.""
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, ""NO!!!" exclaimed the
undersecretary. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed
afterward!""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "Three Priests of Nil were
sitting in a boat, fishing."
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, ""I'm thirsty," said the
first. "I'm going to get myself a ale." So he stands, walks across the water,
and came back with his ale."
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, ""Ooh, that looks good,"
said the second and got out of the boat. He walked across the water, got his
Ale, and came back."
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, """You're right," said the
third. "I think I'll get one too." He steps out of the boat and sinks like a
rock."
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, ""Hey," said the first
priest to the second, "should we tell him where the rocks are?""
/quote
EDIT: Someone fix my quotes?
QUOTE(Kaileigh)
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "A Newbie is in a bar on the top floor of a ten
story building. As he's sitting at the bar, a man walks in, goes straight to
the bartender and slaps some money on the bar. "Kamikaze Whiskey , straight
up." The bartender nods and complies. The newcomer takes the driink and downs
it in one gulp, slamming the glass down. Turning to the window, he lines up,
then sprints to it, jumping out. The Newbie at the bar runs to the window,
astonished. He watches as the newcomer plummets to his death, but at the last
minute, he stops and hovers, turns himself upright, and gently lands on his
feet."
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "The Newbie is slack jawed. Within a couple of
minutes, the newcomer arrives at the bar again. Going to the bartender, he once
again orders a whiskey double. And once again, he runs full tilt to the window
and jumps out."
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "As before, just before he hits the ground, he
hovers a few feet off the ground, rights himself, and casually lands and walks
back in."
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "When he arrives at the bar again, the Newbie
quickly runs to him. "How the hell do you do that?" The newcomer looks him up
and down. "Tell you what, buy me a drink and I'll tell you." Excited, the
Newbie does as aked. "You see..." He takes him over to the window, pointing
down. "There's an grate down there on the road. If you aim just right, you can
catch the updraft and land safely.""
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "The Newbie has to try it out for himself.
"Bartender! Whiskey double, straight up!" he slaps his money down and gulps it,
turning tot he window. He charges the window and jumps out.....and plummets to
his death, with a loud splat as he hits the Road."
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "The bartender shakes his head and turns to the
newcomer. "You know Hajamin, you sure are an asshole.""
story building. As he's sitting at the bar, a man walks in, goes straight to
the bartender and slaps some money on the bar. "Kamikaze Whiskey , straight
up." The bartender nods and complies. The newcomer takes the driink and downs
it in one gulp, slamming the glass down. Turning to the window, he lines up,
then sprints to it, jumping out. The Newbie at the bar runs to the window,
astonished. He watches as the newcomer plummets to his death, but at the last
minute, he stops and hovers, turns himself upright, and gently lands on his
feet."
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "The Newbie is slack jawed. Within a couple of
minutes, the newcomer arrives at the bar again. Going to the bartender, he once
again orders a whiskey double. And once again, he runs full tilt to the window
and jumps out."
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "As before, just before he hits the ground, he
hovers a few feet off the ground, rights himself, and casually lands and walks
back in."
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "When he arrives at the bar again, the Newbie
quickly runs to him. "How the hell do you do that?" The newcomer looks him up
and down. "Tell you what, buy me a drink and I'll tell you." Excited, the
Newbie does as aked. "You see..." He takes him over to the window, pointing
down. "There's an grate down there on the road. If you aim just right, you can
catch the updraft and land safely.""
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "The Newbie has to try it out for himself.
"Bartender! Whiskey double, straight up!" he slaps his money down and gulps it,
turning tot he window. He charges the window and jumps out.....and plummets to
his death, with a loud splat as he hits the Road."
Lady Kaileigh D'Azure says, "The bartender shakes his head and turns to the
newcomer. "You know Hajamin, you sure are an asshole.""
17 (Raezon: 8, Viravain: 9)
QUOTE(Diamante)
Diamante McCloud says, "A warrior comes home from the battlefield, tired, and
sits down in his favorite chair, and turns on the aetherwave. He says to his
wife "quick! bring me an ale before it starts!" she's puzzled but goes and gets
him an ale anyways. The guy quickly downs the ale, and says "Hurry! bring me
another one! Its about to start!." His wife huffs a little, but goes and gets
him another one. "One more before it starts!" the husband yells out after
finishing off the second can. "THATS IT!" his wife screams. "I gather herbs and
cook and clean all day, then you just waltz in here, flop your fat ass down,
and expect me to run around like Im your damn slave! If you think thats how it
works, you've got another thing coming!" Damn," mutters the man, "It started.""
sits down in his favorite chair, and turns on the aetherwave. He says to his
wife "quick! bring me an ale before it starts!" she's puzzled but goes and gets
him an ale anyways. The guy quickly downs the ale, and says "Hurry! bring me
another one! Its about to start!." His wife huffs a little, but goes and gets
him another one. "One more before it starts!" the husband yells out after
finishing off the second can. "THATS IT!" his wife screams. "I gather herbs and
cook and clean all day, then you just waltz in here, flop your fat ass down,
and expect me to run around like Im your damn slave! If you think thats how it
works, you've got another thing coming!" Damn," mutters the man, "It started.""
11 (Raezon: 9, Viravain: 2)
quote=Luthe
Luthe d'Murani, Dog of War says, "Whats the difference between a manse and
normal space?"
Luthe d'Murani, Dog of War says, "In normal space you don't have to worry about
walking on Amaru and Malicia."
/Quote
10 points (Raezon: 6, Viravain: 4)
quote=Narsrim
Heir of Ellindel, Narsrim D'cente` Moonlit Avenger says, "Why does Roberto (the
clam in the Inner Sea) not give to charity?"
Heir of Ellindel, Narsrim D'cente` Moonlit Avenger says, "He's very shellfish!"
/quote
-a lot (Raezon: -N, Viravain: -13)
QUOTE(Penelope)
Acolyte of Gloomtide, Seer Penelope Treeripper says, "A Stewartsville farmer is
helping a cow give birth when he notices his young son standing wide-eyed at
the fence, witnessing the entire thing." Dammit," the man says to himself. "Now
Im going to have to explain the birds and the bees." Not wanting to jump the
gun, the man decides to wait and see if his son asks any questions. After
everything is finished, the man walks over to the boy and asks, "Well, son, do
you have any questions?""Just one," the child says. "How fast was that calf
sprinting when it hit that cow?""
helping a cow give birth when he notices his young son standing wide-eyed at
the fence, witnessing the entire thing." Dammit," the man says to himself. "Now
Im going to have to explain the birds and the bees." Not wanting to jump the
gun, the man decides to wait and see if his son asks any questions. After
everything is finished, the man walks over to the boy and asks, "Well, son, do
you have any questions?""Just one," the child says. "How fast was that calf
sprinting when it hit that cow?""
16 (Raezon: 9, Viravain: 7)
QUOTE(Bau)
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says, "A
Magnagoran, a Glomdorian and a Celestian rob a bank. Hearing the shouts closing
in, they take off down the street with their loot. They run and run, but can't
seem to outrun the guards, and at last turn into an alleyway."
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says, "The
alleyway is a deadend. They look around for somewhere to hide in it, but all
they can see is a rubbish bin and an old pile of potato sacks. They check the
bin, but it's full, so nobody can hide in there. A quick discussion has them
all agreeing to hide in potato sacks."
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says,
"They settle down, just in time, as the guards come running into the alleyway.
Checking the bin, they find nothing, but seeing the few suspicious looking
lumps in the potato sacks, they decide they'd better check them."
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says,
"They walk up to the first sack and kick it. The Magnagoran is hiding inside,
and thinking quick, yells out "Arrf!" And the guards mutter among themselves:
"It's only a mutt, don't worry about it, let's check the next one.""
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says, "And
they walk up to the second sack, where the Glomdorian is hiding, and kick it
hard. The Glomdorian yells out, "Mrowr!!" So the guards mutter among
themselves: "It's only a cat, don't worry about it, let's check the last one,
though.""
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says, "So
the guards walk up to the last sack, where the Celestian is hiding, and kick
it."
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says, "And
the Celestian yells out, "POTATOES!!""
Magnagoran, a Glomdorian and a Celestian rob a bank. Hearing the shouts closing
in, they take off down the street with their loot. They run and run, but can't
seem to outrun the guards, and at last turn into an alleyway."
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says, "The
alleyway is a deadend. They look around for somewhere to hide in it, but all
they can see is a rubbish bin and an old pile of potato sacks. They check the
bin, but it's full, so nobody can hide in there. A quick discussion has them
all agreeing to hide in potato sacks."
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says,
"They settle down, just in time, as the guards come running into the alleyway.
Checking the bin, they find nothing, but seeing the few suspicious looking
lumps in the potato sacks, they decide they'd better check them."
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says,
"They walk up to the first sack and kick it. The Magnagoran is hiding inside,
and thinking quick, yells out "Arrf!" And the guards mutter among themselves:
"It's only a mutt, don't worry about it, let's check the next one.""
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says, "And
they walk up to the second sack, where the Glomdorian is hiding, and kick it
hard. The Glomdorian yells out, "Mrowr!!" So the guards mutter among
themselves: "It's only a cat, don't worry about it, let's check the last one,
though.""
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says, "So
the guards walk up to the last sack, where the Celestian is hiding, and kick
it."
Mistress of the Hoard, K'inare Bau d'Illici Sayelle, Dark Songstress says, "And
the Celestian yells out, "POTATOES!!""
17 (Raezon: 8, Viravain: 9)
QUOTE(Umbrawn)
Squire of the Armies of Light, Umbrawn Teneforah says, "Ok, one day this horse
and this chicken were playing in a field. All of a sudden the horse gets his
foot stuck in a hole. So the horse says to the chicken, Quick, go get the
farmer to get me out of this hole!! SO the chicken goes and gets the farmer and
the farmer gets the horse out of the hole. The next day the horse and the
chicken were playing in the same field. This time, the chicken gets her foot
stuck in the hole, so the chicken says to the horse, Quick go get the farmer to
get me out of the hole The horse simply walks until the chicken is under him
and says, Grab on and so the chicken grabs on and the horse pulls her out of
the hole. Moral of the story, when you're hung like a horse, you don't need
help to pick up chicks....."
and this chicken were playing in a field. All of a sudden the horse gets his
foot stuck in a hole. So the horse says to the chicken, Quick, go get the
farmer to get me out of this hole!! SO the chicken goes and gets the farmer and
the farmer gets the horse out of the hole. The next day the horse and the
chicken were playing in the same field. This time, the chicken gets her foot
stuck in the hole, so the chicken says to the horse, Quick go get the farmer to
get me out of the hole The horse simply walks until the chicken is under him
and says, Grab on and so the chicken grabs on and the horse pulls her out of
the hole. Moral of the story, when you're hung like a horse, you don't need
help to pick up chicks....."
-2,273.65 (Raezon: 1, Viravain: -2,274.65)
QUOTE(Murphy)
Dreadlord Murphy Carthan, Predator of Darkness says, "Why did the young merian
boy fall off his swing? He had no arms of course. And why didn't he get up
again? By Roark he had no legs. So the question one must ask, is what did the
young merian boy get for christmas?"
Dreadlord Murphy Carthan, Predator of Darkness says, "Cancer."
boy fall off his swing? He had no arms of course. And why didn't he get up
again? By Roark he had no legs. So the question one must ask, is what did the
young merian boy get for christmas?"
Dreadlord Murphy Carthan, Predator of Darkness says, "Cancer."
0 (Raezon: 0, Viravain: 0)
QUOTE(Barrin)
Grove Steward Barrin Starleaf, Mist Walker says, "A beggar walks into a bar and
asks the Bartender, 'Have you any toothpicks? The Bartender hands him a
toothpick. Moments later another beggar walks into the bar and asks the same
question. The Bartender gives a toothpick to the beggar. A while later, a third
beggar comes in and asks for a straw. The Bartender asks, Before I give you a
straw, please tell me what is going on? The beggar replies, Lord Raezon vomited
on the floor due to poor jokes and all the chunky bits are gone."
asks the Bartender, 'Have you any toothpicks? The Bartender hands him a
toothpick. Moments later another beggar walks into the bar and asks the same
question. The Bartender gives a toothpick to the beggar. A while later, a third
beggar comes in and asks for a straw. The Bartender asks, Before I give you a
straw, please tell me what is going on? The beggar replies, Lord Raezon vomited
on the floor due to poor jokes and all the chunky bits are gone."
0 (Raezon: -1, Viravain: 1)
QUOTE(Nymerya)
Sanguinary Potentate, Nymerya d'Erlette, Lady of the Flame says, "Please don't
hurt me... but..."
Sanguinary Potentate, Nymerya d'Erlette, Lady of the Flame says, "Boat to
Spectre Isle, 125gp. Platter of pork, 600gp. Convincing random nebs Spindle is
really kinky and likes to be kicked? PRICELESS."
hurt me... but..."
Sanguinary Potentate, Nymerya d'Erlette, Lady of the Flame says, "Boat to
Spectre Isle, 125gp. Platter of pork, 600gp. Convincing random nebs Spindle is
really kinky and likes to be kicked? PRICELESS."
10 (Raezon: 5, Viravain: 5)
You see Raezon, the Forbidden shout, "Spindle."
You see Raezon, the Forbidden shout, "What's this about you and pork."
QUOTE(Caighan)
Seditionist Caighan Drakonis, Scourge Practitioner says, "A merian walks into a
store and ask the clerk if he has any wood. the clerk says no so the Merian
walks back out. the same Merian walks in the next day and once again asks the
clerk if he has any wood. The clerk says no so the Merian leaves. This goes on
for several more days until finaly the clerk says "if you ask me again i will
nail your feet to the floor. so the Merian leaves, comes in the Next day and
asks the clerk "have any nails? The clerk says no so the Merian asks "have any
wood?"
store and ask the clerk if he has any wood. the clerk says no so the Merian
walks back out. the same Merian walks in the next day and once again asks the
clerk if he has any wood. The clerk says no so the Merian leaves. This goes on
for several more days until finaly the clerk says "if you ask me again i will
nail your feet to the floor. so the Merian leaves, comes in the Next day and
asks the clerk "have any nails? The clerk says no so the Merian asks "have any
wood?"
10 (Raezon: 4, Virvain: 6)
quote=Dari
Acolyte Dari d'Erlette says, "I was basking in the sun one day in the desert.
My girlfriend Bernie came up to me and said, "Dari, how do you know when the
sun is going to shine?" I said,"Bernie, every morning I look over at my
boyfriend, it it's hanging to the left, I know it's gonna be a sunny day.""
Acolyte Dari d'Erlette says, "If it's laying to the right, I know it's gonna
rain." Bernie said, "Well, what do you do if it's standing straight up?""
Acolyte Dari d'Erlette says, "I said, "Who in the Basin wants to go out on a
day like that?""
/quote
Not much (Raezon: confusing, Viravain: 1 (the same as the 'measurements'))
quote=Joli
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, "So a lute player dies. When he
reaches is everlasting reward and his thread has been properly snipped, the guy
in the robe says, "You're going to spend eternity with this combo, okay?
There's a bass player named 'Raezon' and a pianist named 'Lacostian', and any
day now we expect this 'Hajamin' guy to show up with his drums."
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, ""Wow!" the guy says, "I never
imagined heaven would be this good.""
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, "The man in the robe says, "This
is Nil, not Celestia. Kidaen is the lead singer.""
Kidaen, the Empyrean Minstrel says to Joli, "We'll talk about this later, and
our affair is definitely over now, you can find someone else to allow you to be
their slave."
/quote
Raezon gives a thin, short skirt of deep emerald silk to Hajamin, the Golden
Lord.
Raezon, the Forbidden says, "You left this lying around last time."
QUOTE(Derleth)
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "A dwarven pilgrim climbs
to the peak of Mount Avechna and gets close enough to talk to Lady Estarra.
Looking up, he asks Her "Lady Estarra, what does a million years mean to you?""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "She replies, "A minute.""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "The dwarf then asks, "And
what does a million gold sovereigns mean to you?""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "Lady Estarra replies, "A
gold nugget.""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "So the dwarf smiles and
asks, "Can I have a gold nugget?""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "Lady Estarra thinks it
over briefly and answers, "In a minute.""
to the peak of Mount Avechna and gets close enough to talk to Lady Estarra.
Looking up, he asks Her "Lady Estarra, what does a million years mean to you?""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "She replies, "A minute.""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "The dwarf then asks, "And
what does a million gold sovereigns mean to you?""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "Lady Estarra replies, "A
gold nugget.""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "So the dwarf smiles and
asks, "Can I have a gold nugget?""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "Lady Estarra thinks it
over briefly and answers, "In a minute.""
20 (Raezon: 10, Viravain: 10)
quote=Murphy
(Some cruddy old overused joke that I've heard too many times and never found funny)
/quote
-unrated-
Minijokes said all at once, not really rated:
quote
Heir of Ellindel, Narsrim D'cente` Moonlit Avenger says, "What did the
necromancer get when he was late for dinner?
Heir of Ellindel, Narsrim D'cente` Moonlit Avenger says, "The cold shoulder!"
Acolyte Dari d'Erlette says, "I was talking to a friend of mine one day and
finally I asked him when did he know he was gay? He said when his closed
started developing fur lining with pink carpeting."
Luthe d'Murani, Dog of War says, "A Igasho walks into a bar and takes a seat at
the bar and orders a rum. He looks around sees a bunch of couples sitting
around and a very beautiful faeling sitting next to him. He turns and says
Whats a pretty lady like you doing here along?"
Luthe d'Murani, Dog of War says, "She answers quickly saying I'm not here
alone, he replies so wheres your date? to which she simply replies You sat on
him."
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, "One of the more pert and pretty
undersecretary, who will remain unnamed, took her troubles to me one day at my
office while I worked."
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, ""Magister, you must help me," she
pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young novices here,
I end up breaking him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a
week.""
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, ""I see," I nodded. "And you, no
doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter.""
Oceanic Administratrix, Joli Estelonde says, ""NO!!!" exclaimed the
undersecretary. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed
afterward!""
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, "Three Priests of Nil were
sitting in a boat, fishing."
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, ""I'm thirsty," said the
first. "I'm going to get myself a ale." So he stands, walks across the water,
and came back with his ale."
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, ""Ooh, that looks good,"
said the second and got out of the boat. He walked across the water, got his
Ale, and came back."
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, """You're right," said the
third. "I think I'll get one too." He steps out of the boat and sinks like a
rock."
Sanguinary Sycophant Derleth, Sacrificial Lamb says, ""Hey," said the first
priest to the second, "should we tell him where the rocks are?""
/quote
EDIT: Someone fix my quotes?
beh I didn't edit that one right 
You missed the Annabelle joke at the end 
QUOTE(Bau @ Oct 7 2005, 05:34 AM)
You missed the Annabelle joke at the end
200589
Then add it, silly
I missed the Annabelle one.. I'd heard it before anyway. I thought of one just now.. so yea..
While listening to the city aethers one day a warning came over announcing that 3 Magnagorians had been sighted on Celestia and demanded that all novices stay clear of that plane. All of them managed to work their way back to prime except for one foolhardy Paladin who continued to wander around. When told to leave again, he simply replied, "I don't need to worry. Hajamin will protect me."
So he kept exploring the plane and then Ekard sent him a tell saying that the raiders were near him and that he should leave immediately. The novice promptly told him again, "I don't have to worry. Hajamin will protect me." then snubbed him.
As the raiders closed in him, one of them told him he would let him run, because he was a novice and probably didn't know what was going on. The novice scoffed and simply replied, "I don't have to run from you Magngorian scum. My lord, Hajamin will protect me." The raiders shrugged to themselves and killed him in one combo, then left the area to seek out angels and other denizens of the plane.
And so the novice was forced to pray. Being the idiot that he was, he shouted, "Lord Hajamin, You have failed me! I asked for Your protection and I recieved none!" After intently watching the novice curse at Him for several moments, Hajamin decided to reply, "I tried to warn you three times. It's not My fault you don't know how to take a hint."
QUOTE(Joli @ Oct 8 2005, 09:12 PM)
 I missed the Annabelle one.. I'd heard it before anyway. I thought of one just now.. so yea..
While listening to the city aethers one day a warning came over announcing that 3 Magnagorians had been sighted on Celestia and demanded that all novices stay clear of that plane. All of them managed to work their way back to prime except for one foolhardy Paladin who continued to wander around. When told to leave again, he simply replied, "I don't need to worry. Hajamin will protect me."
So he kept exploring the plane and then Ekard sent him a tell saying that the raiders were near him and that he should leave immediately. The novice promptly told him again, "I don't have to worry. Hajamin will protect me." then snubbed him.
As the raiders closed in him, one of them told him he would let him run, because he was a novice and probably didn't know what was going on. The novice scoffed and simply replied, "I don't have to run from you Magngorian scum. My lord, Hajamin will protect me." The raiders shrugged to themselves and killed him in one combo, then left the area to seek out angels and other denizens of the plane.
And so the novice was forced to pray. Being the idiot that he was, he shouted, "Lord Hajamin, You have failed me! I asked for Your protection and I recieved none!" After intently watching the novice curse at Him for several moments, Hajamin decided to reply, "I tried to warn you three times. It's not My fault you don't know how to take a hint."
201811
old
just changedI like it though... 
or else I wouldn't of typed the whole thing out.
or else I wouldn't of typed the whole thing out.... I don't get it. 
QUOTE(Joli @ Oct 14 2005, 06:37 PM)
... I don't get it.Â
205640
Aww. It's kind of a bassist joke.. bah.
Think music bar, that's the only hint you people get!
ohhhhh.
I love music jokes. Generally because I'm the only one to get them.
Generally because I'm the only one to get them.