The Silver Watcher waits you see
for those who come to take from thee
the lives of those who guard below
your realm eternal, Tree Sun and Snow

He calls upon the natural powers
who respond from their primal towers
to help protect and persevere
from tainted beings who bring their fear

Banshees shriek across the land
as demon-spawned liches touch with hand.
The Trees themselves fight for life
As sick-lings chop with axe and knife

Mighty Stags are brought to bear
as haymakers fling people through the air
Crow knighted forces now poor forth
and slowly advance from south to north

The day seems grim, all hope has fled
but what is that overhead…
The Moon!
She shines so bright, and red!


Their Moonlit Coven has the power
to bring forth a silvery shower
that maims and burns and cracks and breaks
those fools who stood and did not quake

Some fight on and some do flee
trailing along ordered insanity
Brave warriors pursue through the mist
as Trees revenge and grab and twist

The broken bodies now must face
their nigh eternal resting place
Forces pull back, to all sides
To other things, to other tides

Yet he remains to watch to wait
the ever-spinning tapestry of fate
In the branches of her tree
His steadfast vigil for to see

Beautiful use of metaphors and similes. *saves this one to add to his favorites*

ACK, i made a misstake, that I only now, after the contest is over found


their nigh ethereal resting place
should be
their nigh eternal resting place

Edit:Ok, I edited it... stupid fruedian slip... I can't believe I didn't catch that, I looked over it like 10 times before handing it in, seeing as I'm terrible at spelling. hehe, mainly saying it outloud in a scarey voice

Really nice.

What I like about it is how it basically conforms to iambic tetrameter... which gives it a good, bardic, sing-song, feel to it. Also, the rhymes don't feel forced.. in fact I hadn't consciously noticed that it did rhyme until I re-read it - I was enjoying the metrical rhythm and the language to the exclusion of rhyme or plot. Indeed, I feel that the weakest parts of the composition are where it loses the sense of the 8 syllable iambic line that you keep bringing back.

Taking the second stanza,

He calls upon the natural powers - 8 syllables, perfect iambs.
who respond from their primal towers - 9 syllables
to help protect and persevere - 8 syllables, perfect iambs
from tainted beings who bring their fear- 9 syllables

In the second line, the extra syllable doesn't matter the - re- of respond is incorporated in the stressed beat of -pond. The fourth line is a different matter though... it doesn't quite work. Partly this is because of the extra syllable, and partly it's because you have 'who', which should be unstressed, in the position of a stressed syllable, and 'bring' which should be stressed in an unstressed place. What about: 'from tainted beings, bringing fear'?

The dénouement in the 5th stanza is great. I love the way you split the 8 expected syllables of the third line into 2 and 6... so that the reader subliminally expects another line, and so pauses at exactly the most dramatic instant.

Anyway enough of this. I'm procrastinating.