I got home today and my mom asked me to talk to her. I think this is the only time I have ever heard my mom say "We need to talk". I thought I was in trouble, because she has been being really on edge lately... Come to find out my dad is at our cousin's office getting checked because he either has a tumor or prostate cancer. He has known he might have something wrong for 2 year and has been treating himself. (He's a doctor too) It has kept getting worse over the 2 years. All of my siblings already knew about it, but they didn't want to tell me because I would get worried.

I'm not sure why I'm even posting this, because I'm sure someone is just going to say I am doing it for attention. But I don't want to keep this bottled up and I don't have any friends in real life that I can talk to about it. I just don't know what to do. It's so upsetting coming home and finding out that your dad is dying and my mom is so upset. I could tell something was wrong because she started crying for no reason during the thanksgiving break, but she wouldn't tell me what was wrong.

It all seems to make since now.. how my dad used to always say he might be dead in a few years or how my mom would see a commerical advertising prostate treatments and she would comment about it.

*hugs*

There's not a lot I can say that will mean much. I've gone through family members having cancer too, it isn't easy so I have some small idea of how you feel. Just take it as it comes and deal with it as best you can.

cancer sucks. 'Nuff said

It's certainly difficult, and I empathize with you, Joli.

M'mom died of breast cancer (before I turned 19), which was first discovered young when she was 33. I'm already 24, and just over Thanksgiving my aunt (genetically identical twin of m'mom) told us she has a BRCA-1 genetic mutation ... that's one of the genes linked to increased risk for breast and ovarian cancer. So I need to figure out how/when I can get tested to see if it passed to me from m'mom. Also have my brother and two cousins ... all four of us have a 50% chance we might've inherited it. *sigh*

I hate cancer.

This is the 1st case I have heard of their being cancer within the family. I'll have to watch my brother. It just upsets me because he knew about it and wouldn't go get treated even though my mom was begging him to.

I have no idea about anything to do with prostate cancer except the obvious. I'm afraid to look. Have many people died from it?

Yes, they do. I don't want to scare you or upset you, but it's best to be honest. It's one of the biggest killers of men in Australia.

nasty bit of work, prostate cancer.Difficult to remove to remove without invasive surgery, I'd imagine *bleh*

Joli Im really sorry to hear that I lost my dad when I was 15 to another disease. It takes time to get over it, just keep close to him for as long as you can and show him you love him. So that if the bad thing comes, you didnt lose him in vain. He'll always know you love him, regardless of what happens.

Joli, you did the right thing by venting. Believe me, you have support here on these forums. I recently found out two people close to me have been diagnosed with cancer - my auntie and my ex's mom. Its a terrible thing to find out. Just keep your dad in your prayers and try not to worry too much - I'm sure he don't want you to.

He just got back from the doctor a bit ago. They still don't know exactly what it is, so he has an appointment Dec. 9th at a specialist. They are going to do a biopsy and an ultrasound. Right now, him and mom are talking. I don't know what to say so I'm just going to stay down here..

You may not want to look for information, but you might feel better if you do. It's one bit of 'control' you can have on the situation, even if most of it is beyond your control.

Here's a few places with information to get you started:

http://www.webmd.com/hw/prostate_cancer/hw78222.asp

http://www.cancer.gov/cancer_information/c...r_type/prostate


Just from glancing around at some of the information, it seems it's fairly common. I caught a statistic somewhere in the searching that 80% of males who reach 80 years old end up with some form of prostate cancer..? What happens from it also depends a lot on what type, if it's spread, etc.

I'm looking at the stuff you posted, Tsuki, but I'm not sure how far along it is. They've been keeping this a secret for 2 years, so I have no clue. Right now I'm just looking at the general information. I'm surprised he still has a butt if he's been keeping this from everyone for a while.

That's not true actually. Prostate cancer is relatively easy to treat compared to many other forms of Cancer. Pancreatic Cancer, for example, is very very very very difficult to treat as is Ovarian Cancer.

*comfort Joli* This kind of things suck a lot (we've had several cases of terminal diseases in the family lately and I undertsand how it hurts) but what you need to do now is to stop worrying and looking at the internet and try to stay happy. Getting worried is normal and you cannot avoid it, but if it ends up being a cancer he'll need all his happines to be able to fight it. Current state of medicine is amazing, and even if it's a bad time for your family I am sure you'll do allright *hugs*

From what I know, it's not one of the worse forms of cancer provided it's treated, and if your dad is a doctor I am sure he knows what he's doing and will manage.

And vent as much as you can, it helps a lot, and we're all here to try to comfort you on what we can

Joli, I'm so sorry. Cancer is awful. Awful. My mother died in Feburary this year of lung and liver cancer and my aunt just recently died from cancer in her spinal cord in July of this year. So, I know how awful cancer is.

That said, it isn't always a death sentence. Try to think positive and help your dad out that way. You hear stories all the time about people who made it through on what looked like nothing but simple determination. And hey, check out Lance Armstrong... he had prostrate cancer and now he's winning record numbers of Tour de France races.

If you need to vent, vent away. It's better to get it out than let it all sit inside you and stew.

oh it is? I was just thinking about location and all