I was thinking about this last night when I couldn't get on the computer, but then I slept for a few hours, and forgot most of it, but I wanted to write down what I did remember, even though it won't sound nearly as good as it did in my head before. () I'm not writing this for any particular reason, just that it came into my mind and I wondered if anyone else thought a similar way.

I was just talking to Vix the other day about my avatar, and she suggested this change, and then necro'd that thread from ages ago. And then I realised how annoying I sounded a year ago. It was like some horrid mutant hybrid of Raxilin and Selthar (no offence to Selthar.) And then I reflected how I don't (at least, I hope I don't) sound quite so annoying anymore. I didn't really notice that change as it was happening though. But I guess that's just part of growing up.

I think it's more than that though. I think it's the effect the Lusternian community has had on me over the last year, one that has made me into what I think is a more mature person than I was back then. In various different ways that I never experienced at school or by any psychologist or social worker, I feel like I've been taught important things by a lot of the people here. People like Gwylifar, Alger, Elryn, Vix, Ialie and Ibaesha (I'm thinking of things these people have said to me in particular, but I know there's more than that) in the course of 13 odd months have made me see a lot of different viewpoints and perspectives on things that have changed my outlook. Both in private discussions and on the forums themselves, that is. Gwylifar and Alger, though neither will read this, taught me about a lot of different ways of looking at other people and their viewpoints, Alger in his "brutally honest" way of thinking and Gwylifar just...making me understand things kataleptically or whatever that no one else seemed to be able to get into my thick head (). Elryn seems to share a similar way of thinking to me on a lot of subjects like religion and some philosophy, so I've been able to learn more about how -I- think from talking to him. Vix and Ibaesha and Josun (mostly from me trying to understand you better, in your case ) and Ialie have all (I think) made me more confident about myself as well, although Vix probably doesn't realise it. I know I don't always treat you guys right (I know I've shouted at Vix and Ibaesha especially for a couple of things I really shouldn't have, but both of you know how bad I feel about that already) but you've been very valuable to me in that respect.

Quite apart from the people themselves though, I think the community has taught me a lot of different ways to think that, again, I never learnt or was exposed to at school or anywhere else. And I know everyone rants at the forums and how much hate there is here sometimes but I think there's value in it in spite of that. If you knew me from a year ago and remember how annoying I was and then look at me today and realise how even though I'm probably still annoying () I'm not as much so, I think you'll be able to see that. The community here is worth more than you might think when you stumble across Daganev and Elryn arguing about whatever and some silly bugger from City X complaining about the stupid RP or lame fighting skills of Communemember Y and Citymember Z.

Like I said, there was more yesterday, but I didn't have any paper handy and I couldn't get on the computer, so probably half the meaning has been lost...but yea.

-hug Shiri-

I'm glad that you've gained so much from this community, Shiri. That's wonderful. And you're right; a lot of times people see nothing but the hate and ranting, but if this community wasn't awesome underneath all of that, I know I'd have been gone long ago, and probably others as well.

I'm an enigma. No one shall ever completely figure me out!

In any case, it's funny sometimes who has an effect on you and how, isn't it? I mean, looking back on when I moved to this new town and started high school, I was a much different person. More bratty and more uptight... definitely a side-effect of growing up where I did. I felt that I absolutely -had- to have straight A's handed to me, I rolled my eyes through every high school announcement... I mean, those are lame, but I was definitely more obvious about it than anyone else.

I'm glad you feel more... uh, mature? than you did a year ago.

i know that you've affected me a little bit, and affected(i don't think that your talking about IC things in addition, but i'm adding it anyways) my lusternian character greatly, although i'm pretty shure i was just an annoyance to you in the game(and ooc in game...), sorry of that...

I'm not talking about IC things really. More the forums. I didn't know I'd affected you though, we only talked once.

we'd talked more than that, but also that i more of overheard conversations between other people allot. i do remember hearing some conversations between you and other people at mother moon and i believe on gt while i was a moondancer.

Pffh. If you were annoying, I didn't notice.

Whoa, I did?

And aww, you made me feel warm and fuzzy.

That's awesome that you've learnt something here.

Not to deflate the good feelings but didn't you just go to college/university? That one year difference between highschool and college is huge for many people.

Nah, he's only 17.

I did go to college...but college here is still highschool over there. Agewise I'm in the last year of highschool (I think. Your system is weird.) I'm still waiting on university application.

EDIT: It's probably worth noting that I skipped a year of school as well.

So yeah, you'd be a senior in high school in America.

One more year and you can taste the joys of college life, parties fun and no attendance required, in exchange for nasty exams at the end of all that

Hah, no, if I get the stupid reply already (might have to mail the original letter again instead of emailing) I'll be going to open university after trying for quite a while ( damn parents) so I don't have to go and meet new people who are highly unlikely to have anything in common with me.

Open university? Like online? You really should consider the benefits of meeting other people in person, they won't have anything in common with you if they don't know you.
I became a freaking socialite on my first year. So fun at the time!

Yeah, online UK university, it's pretty respected around here (I gather.)

And I would really rather just stick with the friends I have and so forth really, I'm not up for normal university. School was really crappy for me.

Well, I study now on an online university, and I can tell you it's quite a pain as you need to organize yourself and forget the "I'll do it tomorrow, today I am tired" because your parents are going to check your grades to make sure you're doing your work, probably more than if you were in a normal university where they would see you going to class.

Yeah, that is a problem, I'm not very good at setting myself deadlines either (a fatal trait in university, I'm well aware ) but whatever. I'm definitely not likely to pass the degree, of course, but I'm not really doing it for that anyway.

Get a calendar.

Mark the days when you will receive assignements, and the days you'll need to deliver them. In fact, mark the day a week before you actually have to deliver the assignment.

Mark the dates the college suggests you should be studying each point.

Keep the work in weekly dosis. Like "this week I need to do this, this and that". If you can do it by tuesday, you don't need to work more until next week.

Above all, forget about making a detailed calendar with what are you going to study each day because it'll get broken the moment something unexpected happens, just keep it weekly and review it weekly, and never let things be over a week behind.

Works for me allright (and I work full-time besides studying).