Alright, I'm done spamming the boards with my n00b poetry 
, but I am planning on submitting this, and I'm wondering what you guys think. (Even if you don't like poetry please just write something!)
I'm taking any advice, and since the end of the month is coming up I need people to point out any typos or things that don't make sense/sound bad.
Viravain!
Oh Viravain,
I miss you so!
The deepest of pain,
To see you go,
You shame yourself,
To stoop so low,
I ask myself,
The Vain I know?
I miss your wit,
You forsake me so,
I miss your whip,
The satisfying blow,
My back is unstained,
Let my blood flow,
Without my Vain,
There’s nothing I know.
This poem was inspired by the feeling of resentment at Viravain’s actions after deciding that Glomdoring was to seduce others into joining the Glomdoring, a radical change from her previous more insular views.
-Ciaran
Shayle, the protean
Your smile looks so simple and sweet,
Your curse feels so brutal and bleak,
Your word cuts through towers and keeps,
Your face hides a darkness so deep,
Shayle, my Queen, in darkness you sleep.
After a fairly long conversation with Shayle I saw a new facet of Shayle’s personality, the personable one, I feel after speaking against her in my treasonous speeches, I owed it to her to portray her in a more favorable light.
-Ciaran
Xenthos, the wise
You’re my mentor and home, I stand by you
You’ve shown me the way to which I’ll stay true
I owe you my life, that debt I’ll pay soon,
You are the greatest alive, I owe it to you,
I’m just giving credit where credit is due.
Since I left the portal of fate Xenthos has taught me, and protected me. He’s been my mentor for over 30 years, and I owe much of my knowledge to him, the respect I have for him is immense, which inspired me to write this short poem.
-Ciaran
Xavius, my savior
For all that this blackened heart feels,
I’ll write of the time spent on my heels,
When I was eating my final meal,
A deepwater ship without a keel,
You were my sanity’s shield,
You made me a life saving deal,
My reverence couldn’t be more real.
This is definitely my most heartfelt poem, as can be seen by the first line. When charged with treason, my future looked bleak. What I had thought I was doing for the greater of Glomdoring was about to get me exiled. The forest I had spent my whole life was about to be ripped out of my reality. That is when Xavius appeared, he offered his help, despite the risks of defending a traitor as I was. He kept me where I belonged, and I couldn’t think higher of him.
-Ciaran
Thanks!
, but I am planning on submitting this, and I'm wondering what you guys think. (Even if you don't like poetry please just write something!)I'm taking any advice, and since the end of the month is coming up I need people to point out any typos or things that don't make sense/sound bad.
Viravain!
Oh Viravain,
I miss you so!
The deepest of pain,
To see you go,
You shame yourself,
To stoop so low,
I ask myself,
The Vain I know?
I miss your wit,
You forsake me so,
I miss your whip,
The satisfying blow,
My back is unstained,
Let my blood flow,
Without my Vain,
There’s nothing I know.
This poem was inspired by the feeling of resentment at Viravain’s actions after deciding that Glomdoring was to seduce others into joining the Glomdoring, a radical change from her previous more insular views.
-Ciaran
Shayle, the protean
Your smile looks so simple and sweet,
Your curse feels so brutal and bleak,
Your word cuts through towers and keeps,
Your face hides a darkness so deep,
Shayle, my Queen, in darkness you sleep.
After a fairly long conversation with Shayle I saw a new facet of Shayle’s personality, the personable one, I feel after speaking against her in my treasonous speeches, I owed it to her to portray her in a more favorable light.
-Ciaran
Xenthos, the wise
You’re my mentor and home, I stand by you
You’ve shown me the way to which I’ll stay true
I owe you my life, that debt I’ll pay soon,
You are the greatest alive, I owe it to you,
I’m just giving credit where credit is due.
Since I left the portal of fate Xenthos has taught me, and protected me. He’s been my mentor for over 30 years, and I owe much of my knowledge to him, the respect I have for him is immense, which inspired me to write this short poem.
-Ciaran
Xavius, my savior
For all that this blackened heart feels,
I’ll write of the time spent on my heels,
When I was eating my final meal,
A deepwater ship without a keel,
You were my sanity’s shield,
You made me a life saving deal,
My reverence couldn’t be more real.
This is definitely my most heartfelt poem, as can be seen by the first line. When charged with treason, my future looked bleak. What I had thought I was doing for the greater of Glomdoring was about to get me exiled. The forest I had spent my whole life was about to be ripped out of my reality. That is when Xavius appeared, he offered his help, despite the risks of defending a traitor as I was. He kept me where I belonged, and I couldn’t think higher of him.
-Ciaran
Thanks!
