here's my entry for the month

LoNg have I waited for the whips on my back
Cold kIsses on my lips
Under the Flower amaranth
In a Spiked MaIden I wait
For your frozen, coLd hands I wait
To pull me out and Hold me like your lost king of old
A vile pair we would makE
As you use my skin as your Makeshift canvas
And string me to the bloodied Amaranth


Capitalization is so it's eisier to read Nifilhema's name
tell me what you think

maybe to make it more clear you should keep the other things un-capitalized? I was trying to spell a word but I guess I just suck and gave up.

Although I don't want to be a stinker, the best you could hope for is merit.

Capitalizing letters that spell a name in no real formation isn't really anything...

Actually, if I have any criticisms with this poem, it's not because of the above. I think that's quite nice - though obviously not as nice as if each line started with the letter.

My main criticism would be rhythmical. It doesn't scan terribly well. Your first line starts in dactyls:

Long have I waited for the whips on my back

Great! Thinks I, although that extra 'the' slightly spoils it. But then.. in the next line you move into iambs:

Cold kisses on my lips

Just as I'm reorientating myself and starting to hear iambs, the next line starts with a dactyl. Little rhythmical variations are great in poetry - if you've got a metre firmly in your head, and then something changes, it can be used to great mimetic or dramatic effect. If you've got no fixed metre and it's not a prose poem, then it doesn't work (unless you're Gerard Manley Hopkins). I'm inclined to think that you were thinking about metre to some extent - perhaps not deliberately.. but you might have thought 'hey, that sounds good I'll put it in'. A little more constancy with it, and it would improve the poem hugely.

I'm just learning poetry so too many times I start of with a set meter and then lose it.

As for the name, If you read poe you'll see that form, It's more of a visual then a metered or sylabilic effect. As such moving it to the forums got it sort of lost and I couldn't figure how to set it back up. And I sort of find having all of the Letters at the begining of the line tacky.