Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Rednecks?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal ..40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

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Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 911?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

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Republican's Answer:

BANG!

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Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

I voted Democrat. Mostly cause I felt contrary and this poll was clearly meant to make folks not want to vote Democrat.

Besides, why was I carrying a loaded glock? And what were we doing on such a deserted street frequented by completely random Islamic Terrorists?

I do feel confused now and like I should debate this issue with some friends.

No <3 for Independents...

If your answer was that you'd kneecap the terrorist, you're an independent...

DEMOCRAT - You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbra Streisand sings for you.

(DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE - You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.)

REPUBLICAN - You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE - You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

COMMUNIST - You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE - You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

AMERICAN CORPORATION - You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself, and do an IPO on the second one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have down-sized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION - You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION - You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION - You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

POLISH CORPORATION - You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

GERMAN CORPORATION - You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

If your answer was that you'd kneecap the terrorist, you're an independent...

SOCIALIST - You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.