I've been having some friend problems IRL, and I'm having trouble deciding what to do.

So. Here's the low down.

I have people over here who say I am their friends, when I ask them. I listen to them when they need an ear. I give them a shoulder when they need to cry. I lend them money (the little I have!) when they need it. I help them with / do their homework. I let them cheat off of me on tests. I talk to teachers for them to make sure they pass their classes, and talk to deans for them to make sure they don't get expelled / suspended.

However, whenever I have a problem, my friends say to me, "Sorry, I'm not interested." Whenever I ask to sit with them at lunch, they pretend they don't know me. They openly make fun of me, and my familial situations. Whenever they plan to go somewhere, I wait to be invited. I never have been.

Finally, last week, I overheard one friend say she was going to go to Karaoke with a group of kids who also claimed to be my friends. I went to her, and asked her if I could come along. She told me that I'm a drag any would just make everyone want to die, so, I took that as a "No".

My fiance told me that these people aren't really my friends, but they're nice enough to talk to me, so, I figured they were.

Are these people my friends? Do I need new ones? If I do, how do I get the "right" sort of friends?

I'm so confused. What do I do?

In my opinion, based upon what you've said here, those people are not your friends. They're who're using you. They think you're a drag and make folks want to die? WTF? Kick their sorry rears to the curb and let them handle their own business cause they obviously don't deserve your time.

.__.

That's... a mite violent...

But they do need my time. They need someone to listen to them. I can't really just let them deal with their problems all on their own and have no one to talk to. They'd be so lonely then...

Remove your shoulder, let them cry on air. Let them know how it feels, and see if they change. If they refuse to change, leave them fully. They only are using you as a toy for fun and games, and for cash. Leave the users in the dust, see how they like it for a change.

I don't mean literally kick them! It's metaphoric kicking.

And they can listen to each other. They're obviously not lonely when they go to Karaoke together and tell you that you can't come cause you suck. What kind of friend says something like that? You need to make some new friends who are actually nice to you.

but you need to make sure that whilst doing that you have someone whos listening to -you- and if theyre not showing the same friendship qualities you are showing them, then I say its best to think of getting new friends

They're not your friends, and I think you know that. Stop letting them take advantage of you.

As for making better friends, I dunno. I always just chat idly with the people around me in class, and don't really talk to them much outside of class. There's a reason why I'm always online

How in the world do I get new friends?

That's like trying to get a new car when you're broke.

I don't have anything to offer in a friendship.

e-friends are cool. im always up for a chat

RL friends....hrm find people with the same interests, talk about that and work it from there?

From what you've said, it definitely seems like you ought to leave them be. They seem to only be abusing your kind-hearted and trusting nature, and sound like they're entirely undeserving. You can do better than them, for sure.

I disagree.

But if that stuff actually mattered, wouldn't they be nicer to me?

I'll be your frieeeend, if you let me

If you have skype, I'm usually on Saturdays

P.S. I won't be Acrune's friend, though.

All those things you do for those jerks? Those are things you have to offer. Just don't offer them to people who don't appreciate them. But really, friendship isn't something you have to buy, you know.

Reading your reply though, I have to amend my recommendation. Cut those losers who're using you loose and then spend sometime figuring yourself out. You need to think better of yourself. Be aware of your own strengths and good points and who you are and all that stuff. You need to like and respect yourself before you worry about how other people are seeing you.



No, because they're a-holes who don't deserve your time or to breathe the same air you do.

That'd require deciding whether to DL Skype on my main comp or my laptop.

From what I understand, friendship is more about compatibility of personalities over what you're willing to do for them. I'm a person with a strange sense of humor who went through school without trying very hard but stayed in the advanced classes. Guess what most of my friends are like. Goofy lazy nerds

But I don't want to seem or sound conceited...

Umm, you have a fiance and are asking this type of question?

As everyone said, they are not your friends, they are your acquantances. I'm very nice to my aquantances and act friendly to them, but I'm not dissapointed when they don't invite me places. Thats what I have my friends for.

If you are seriously unsure as to how to make new friends, just become friends with your fiance's friends.

And don't be giving money to people like that. Thats a sure fire way to have people use you.

edit: You also need to find your self esteem. Do something you can be proud of.

It's not conceited to know you're good at something... and you should have bolded this part: You need to like and respect yourself before you worry about how other people are seeing you.

That was the really important part.