22 Ways to be a good democrat.

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.

6. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

7. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

8. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

15. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.

17. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

18. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

19. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

20. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

21. You have to believe that it’s okay to give Federal workers off on Christmas Day but it’s not okay to say “Merry Christmas.”

22. You have to believe that any presidential candidate who belongs to a church will invariably turn the nation into a theocracy.

Ready to vote???

Pah, post the link so they can read the other 400!

I'm a Democrat, but I own a gun and think Hillary Clinton is a phony

How to be a good Republican:

1. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread because people are evil and should be punished.

2. You have to believe that the evolution is a myth that shouldn't be taught in schools, despite the evidence of biochemistry and the fossil record.

3. You have to believe that there is no causal link between legal, easily-obtainable handguns and high murder rates.

4. You have to believe that global temperatures are completely unaffected by fossil fuel emissions, that the best way to save the national forests is to allow logging companies to cut down old-growth timber, and the best way to save endangered species is to allow trophy hunters and wildlife traders to import more of them.

5. You have to believe that homosexuality is evil (despite the fact that it occurs in nature) and that women should stay at home to cook and bear children.

6. You have to be against abortion but support capital punishment.

7. You have to believe that businesses never purposely hurt anyone to make money.

8. You have to believe that hunting requires an automatic rifle.

9. You have to believe that inherited wealth is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that war is an acceptable solution to any economic or social problem.

11. You have to believe that everyone should support the troops - except when it comes to paying them.

12. You have to believe the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are for poor and middle class people, not the rich.

14. You have to believe that affirmative action is wrong, while still supporting discrimination against minorities.

15. You have to believe that Ann Coulter is normal and really a very nice person.

16. You have to believe that the only reason supply-side economics hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

17. You have to believe liberals telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and draft-dodger belongs in the White House.

18. You have to believe that the Ten Commandments should be displayed in every public building regardless of the fact that not everyone in America is a Christian.

19. You have to believe that illegal Republican Party funding by corporations is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

20. You have to believe that the media are biased toward liberals, despite the fact that all the major media outlets are owned by ultra-rich conservatives.

How to be a Luddite:

1. You aren't doing this right.

Haha Stang. I liked it.

I'm not sure why this is #1-- because the other way around is weird, too. Argue for the "Taking life is wrong" while at the same time supporting the death penalty.

I personally support both. Though really, its strange IMO to be against killing people who killed people, but at the same time being ok with killing babies.

As a proudly serving uniformed man, this cracks me up. And that's so sad cause its true..

You realize we're describing the same president?

I'm not talking about anyone At best the lists are a funny little tweak to chuckle over as you and friends from a different party trade barbs. At worst, both lists are prejudiced, close-minded, and designed to inspire knee-jerk reactions of disdain, or worse, hatred, for other people's opinions by cariacaturizing them to a very large degree. Given the nature of most of the topics you have started in this vein, I am guessing your goal wasn't the first.

I started it for and giggles. Glad you enjoyed it

Heheh, nice Stang (and Catarin). I'm happy some people don't take themselves that seriously.

It's all in the poster. If I had started this topic, I'd be getting flamed by everyone, regardless of whether I meant it in a humorous way or not

GO LIBERTARIAN!!

or epicurean, either one

Nah, I don't think so considering Stangmar is our most nutty Right-winger.

The Demeocrat list is funnier, because I have not heard it over and over.

The Republican Jokes are just over done, and all have been repeated to much to really be funny.

Go International Internet Luddite party!

Both sides can agree on one thing:

People from the desert are dangerous, and must be stopped at all airports for random checks, since they're more random than other people.