Stangmar2008-03-31 02:56:06
ANGER MANAGEMENT
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*** ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an @$$hole !" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '@$$hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an @$$hole !" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic @$$hole calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an @$$hole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a " For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first @$$hole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW @$$hole too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is.."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an @$$hole !"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two @$$holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called @$$hole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an @$$hole!"
(But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "@$$hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, @$$hole," and hung up.
Then I called @$$hole No. 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, @$$hole ."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well, @$$hole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.
Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in time to watch two @$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management works!
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*** ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an @$$hole !" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '@$$hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an @$$hole !" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic @$$hole calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an @$$hole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a " For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first @$$hole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW @$$hole too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is.."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an @$$hole !"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two @$$holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called @$$hole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an @$$hole!"
(But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "@$$hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, @$$hole," and hung up.
Then I called @$$hole No. 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, @$$hole ."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well, @$$hole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.
Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in time to watch two @$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management works!
Unknown2008-03-31 03:04:33
QUOTE(stangmar @ Mar 30 2008, 09:56 PM) 497985
ANGER MANAGEMENT
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*** ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an @$$hole !" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '@$$hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an @$$hole !" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic @$$hole calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an @$$hole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a " For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first @$$hole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW @$$hole too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is.."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an @$$hole !"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two @$$holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called @$$hole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an @$$hole!"
(But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "@$$hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, @$$hole," and hung up.
Then I called @$$hole No. 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, @$$hole ."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well, @$$hole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.
Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in time to watch two @$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management works!
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*** ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an @$$hole !" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word '@$$hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an @$$hole !" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic @$$hole calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an @$$hole!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a " For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first @$$hole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW @$$hole too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is.."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an @$$hole !"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two @$$holes to call.
Then I came up with an idea.
I called @$$hole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an @$$hole!"
(But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "@$$hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, @$$hole," and hung up.
Then I called @$$hole No. 2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, @$$hole ."
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"
I answered, "Well, @$$hole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.
Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in time to watch two @$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.
NOW I feel much better. Anger management works!
.
..
...
Freaking godly. Tell me you actually did this?
Unknown2008-03-31 03:27:31
Either way, I lol'd.
Acrune2008-03-31 03:36:00
Well, Stangmar was like 12 when caller ID came out, so I suspect its a net/email story 
Stangmar2008-03-31 04:11:58
Yep, found it on a classic hot rod message board that I frequent.
Munsia2008-03-31 05:13:09
That cheered me upSnaithy2008-03-31 12:56:15
haha nice one! What was the message board? Seen loads of stuff like this kicking about
Bashara2008-03-31 19:18:40
Hilarious, but I honestly have to say that whoever did this goes way beyond disturbingly creepy and into the realm of 'wet my pants' disturbing...
Noola2008-03-31 19:29:50
QUOTE(Bashara @ Mar 31 2008, 02:18 PM) 498167
Hilarious, but I honestly have to say that whoever did this goes way beyond disturbingly creepy and into the realm of 'wet my pants' disturbing...
It'd never work in real life. It's just funny.
Bashara2008-03-31 19:31:10
QUOTE(Noola @ Mar 31 2008, 07:29 PM) 498169
It'd never work in real life. It's just funny.
The let me rephrase: whoever came up with this whole crazy idea is disturbed.
Stangmar2008-03-31 21:37:36
The only way I could see this happening is if asshole #1 was a severely angry crack-head alcoholic who spends his weekends in jail for some random misdemeanors or something. Plus, wouldn't the popo trace the call and realize that it was in fact NOT coming from where he said it was?
Somaria2008-03-31 22:08:11
I had five friends on the phone and we didn't stop laughing for.. half an hour. O.O 
Unknown2008-08-26 19:35:42
That was fantastic; I read that and really wanted to do that. I'll have to print it out and read it to my sociology class when I go to class next time.
Help my poor dragons grow to be big and strong. By clicking here you can ensure the survival of my eggs. If you don’t they will die horrible horrible horrible deaths.
http://dragcave.net/user/Sadeara
Help my poor dragons grow to be big and strong. By clicking here you can ensure the survival of my eggs. If you don’t they will die horrible horrible horrible deaths.
http://dragcave.net/user/Sadeara
Unknown2008-09-06 17:24:35
O.o wow. That sounds like something my friend koi would do...
Xenthos2008-09-06 17:53:11
What is up with all the new forum-posters and their penchant for necroing?
Xavius2008-09-08 02:59:34
QUOTE(Xenthos @ Sep 6 2008, 12:53 PM) 554340
What is up with all the new forum-posters and their penchant for necroing?
It's because they don't realize how much we post yet. On most forums, a thread two weeks old isn't dead, just quiet. Here, it died a week and a half ago.
