Druken2008-07-10 13:19:38
This piece didn't win anything, but I thought I'd share it anyway. It won't fit into my professional portfolio, so it's either here or the annals of my harddrive. I hope you like it! I had fun writing it. Magnagora- be forewarned! I took a few liberties with your traditions. Though I only mention Fain once, I think I nailed what Sthai's thoughts might be.
What imbecile did this? Orchids? As if the incessant drab of black and gray weren’t cliché enough, we must flaunt our lifestyle with traditional flowers of death in our hair? Far be it for a paid caterer to use common sense, I suppose. It’s just as well- I have a chance to go over their notes one final time before our guests arrive.
Today, the Harbingers come to my domain. Today, that backwater, arrogant jester masquerading as the guildmaster of a bardic troupe will be forced to listen to me. I will command the conversation and I will be the one to announce his failings, publicly, in front of my guild with all the sly cunning of a truly civilized member of society. What a laughable thought- comparing Magnagora to the Glomdoring in a contest of society.
The Engine cries out for racial solidarity. It demands intelligence to be beaten into the Basin. Science will see to both; that self-proclaimed forest without mercy will be filled once again with the glorious Taint. It is by sheer dumb luck that those illiterate pigeons wearing crow feathers managed to transform the taint into that ludicrous inferior… I cannot even think the name for all its vile existence. My tongue rails against me any time I must lower myself to acknowledge it. And such a horrible colour, purple.
Ah, yes. Right on schedule. I sent my invitation three entire months ago. If my buffoon-to-Common translation is correct, three months is the allotted time it would take to decode the idea of coming to my guild hall for tea. I hoped to expedite their response by writing my invitation in large enough print for a bloody astrologer to read from the stars they watch, but perhaps that wasn’t enough. It’s simply baffling that these pariahs have banded together this long without butchering each other out of sheer confusion.
This response should take me an entire minute to work through. I cannot imagine that they’d be able to legibly state one way or another if-
By the Masque! If crumpling this trash would suit a lady of my status, I would do it twice! Tut. No Frowning, Sthai- simply pass it off onto one of the city’s many sycophants later. Let them deal with your anger. Yes. Well. Now that our guests have practically chased their pigeon that delivered this, it is not the time to appear unkempt. Very well- we’ll simply skip the performance and move straight to tea. If all goes well, their blood will sweeten the crumpets.
That knock must be them now. I knew they would be here today – when else would they come, according to my calculations? – but so soon? Damn their idiocy! Damn their mannerlessness!
“Ah, Lord Druken! So nice of you to come all this way! My, what a lovely robe! One of your designs?†Not a dog or beggar alike in all the Basin would be caught dead sleeping on rags like that.
“I see you’ve brought a guest! Welcome, Ascendant Xenthos!†Why not just strap the Master Ravenwood to your back and carry along a troop of drooling spiders? They’d be just as welcome.
Breathe, Sthai. They’re in your land now. The Aois-Dana will play hostess to these wretched stagehands long enough to rewrite their minds according to His will. Who knows? Perhaps they will still have their uses after I’ve wiped away the Wyrd. The stage could always use a good scrubbing. The Masque may appreciate more décor- Druken’s enormous head, after all, clearly isn’t storing brains. It’s safe to assume that his skull wouldn’t require much cleaning, and that Eliron seems rather cleanly in all his swampy grime.
Ah, a real smile at last for my guests!
“Right this way, please. I thought we’d begin with tea. Make sure you take an orchid- they’re a traditional gift in Magnagora.†Maybe I’ll wait to torture the caterers.
What imbecile did this? Orchids? As if the incessant drab of black and gray weren’t cliché enough, we must flaunt our lifestyle with traditional flowers of death in our hair? Far be it for a paid caterer to use common sense, I suppose. It’s just as well- I have a chance to go over their notes one final time before our guests arrive.
Today, the Harbingers come to my domain. Today, that backwater, arrogant jester masquerading as the guildmaster of a bardic troupe will be forced to listen to me. I will command the conversation and I will be the one to announce his failings, publicly, in front of my guild with all the sly cunning of a truly civilized member of society. What a laughable thought- comparing Magnagora to the Glomdoring in a contest of society.
The Engine cries out for racial solidarity. It demands intelligence to be beaten into the Basin. Science will see to both; that self-proclaimed forest without mercy will be filled once again with the glorious Taint. It is by sheer dumb luck that those illiterate pigeons wearing crow feathers managed to transform the taint into that ludicrous inferior… I cannot even think the name for all its vile existence. My tongue rails against me any time I must lower myself to acknowledge it. And such a horrible colour, purple.
Ah, yes. Right on schedule. I sent my invitation three entire months ago. If my buffoon-to-Common translation is correct, three months is the allotted time it would take to decode the idea of coming to my guild hall for tea. I hoped to expedite their response by writing my invitation in large enough print for a bloody astrologer to read from the stars they watch, but perhaps that wasn’t enough. It’s simply baffling that these pariahs have banded together this long without butchering each other out of sheer confusion.
This response should take me an entire minute to work through. I cannot imagine that they’d be able to legibly state one way or another if-
By the Masque! If crumpling this trash would suit a lady of my status, I would do it twice! Tut. No Frowning, Sthai- simply pass it off onto one of the city’s many sycophants later. Let them deal with your anger. Yes. Well. Now that our guests have practically chased their pigeon that delivered this, it is not the time to appear unkempt. Very well- we’ll simply skip the performance and move straight to tea. If all goes well, their blood will sweeten the crumpets.
That knock must be them now. I knew they would be here today – when else would they come, according to my calculations? – but so soon? Damn their idiocy! Damn their mannerlessness!
“Ah, Lord Druken! So nice of you to come all this way! My, what a lovely robe! One of your designs?†Not a dog or beggar alike in all the Basin would be caught dead sleeping on rags like that.
“I see you’ve brought a guest! Welcome, Ascendant Xenthos!†Why not just strap the Master Ravenwood to your back and carry along a troop of drooling spiders? They’d be just as welcome.
Breathe, Sthai. They’re in your land now. The Aois-Dana will play hostess to these wretched stagehands long enough to rewrite their minds according to His will. Who knows? Perhaps they will still have their uses after I’ve wiped away the Wyrd. The stage could always use a good scrubbing. The Masque may appreciate more décor- Druken’s enormous head, after all, clearly isn’t storing brains. It’s safe to assume that his skull wouldn’t require much cleaning, and that Eliron seems rather cleanly in all his swampy grime.
Ah, a real smile at last for my guests!
“Right this way, please. I thought we’d begin with tea. Make sure you take an orchid- they’re a traditional gift in Magnagora.†Maybe I’ll wait to torture the caterers.
Druken2008-07-10 13:26:16
Oh. Please note that this is the version that was submitted, without the helpful itallics to denote the difference between Sthai's "Fain" personality and her public face. Without them, the choppiness helps to solidify Druken's belief that she's insane, but I suppose it makes reading it more of a challenge.
Shaddus2008-07-10 21:30:11
That is pretty awesome, and just how I imagine Sthai to be.
Druken2008-07-11 02:42:12
Thank you! 
