Okay so, simply put... I'm getting bored with Lusternia. Ever since I joined Magnagora, I can't get used to their style of roleplay, if you can even call it that. The whole 'no matter what you do it's not good enough for us' has made me just stop trying. I don't defend, I don't raid, I don't do wildnodes... I don't even talk to citymates anymore.

Any suggestions on what I should do? Take a break? Leave Magnagora?

Meh.

I've been thinking of leaving for some time now, but I always feel guilty OOCly, like I'm letting people down. I hate being me. Always put people's feelings ahead of my own. Bleh.

I have never had problems with this in any org. You should hang out with different people in Mag if you can't find engaging RP and people that like you.

It's always good to have breaks every now and then to prevent burnout, but never rule out switching organizations. Some people just aren't comfortable in certain organizations. I hated being in Celest and Glomdoring.

Always told you you're welcome to coming back to the Spiritsingers you know. Fairly simple to get the fines done up if you really wanted.

Hey.

I admit to some bias in this statement, but still advise: Unless you feel strongly that you'd enjoy another particular city/commune, don't quit the city before giving yourself a break. One of those two options is easier to go back on than the other! You might try some lighter fare, a very casual alt for example, something that can give you a break from, and a perspective on, your current situation.

I'm not precisely sure what you mean by 'no matter what you do it's not good enough for us,' but that's probably my fault and not yours. My character has always, from inception, been entirely unconcerned with rewards and thanks (although the dude behind the screen sometimes disagreed, or was more thankful for rewards and thanks than he let on), a sort of 'selfless' loyalty to city that I've really enjoyed playing. It's interesting to me to see this, because earlier today, while nodes were in play, there was a moment where most of our crew was gathered in one place, and you were on the far side guarding, and I was on my side, and...I guess I can't say this in a way that doesn't sound corny, but it felt cool to flank them, and I wasn't concerned at what was happening at the cool kids table or whether I should be doing something else. I just don't worry about it. If someone wants me doing something else, they'll tell me to, and the (relative few) who knew me from back when know that. I think.

Another point: I play Olan mostly as being gruff and short. I think 90% of your and my interactions so far have been nods and salutes. Which is funny, because to me, that's bonding. I think to you, it isn't. The point is that me, the guy playing Olan, is neither gruff, nor short, nor mean spirited, etc. Ardmore is one of Olan's favorite (active) folks, and you probably think of me as some old guy who uses your forge and doesn't say much.

I have a thought on something...but I'll put it to you in PM's

What the...when did you come back?

Miss me? =D

Something like that!

The answer is always to turn every channel off and do whatever the hell you want.

Yeah, Magnagora has two seperate crowds, as far as this outsider's perspective goes. There's one that'll piss you off to no end because they're just not enjoyable in the slightest. And wayyyy on the other side of the spectrum, there's the awesome RPers that you -should- be talking to and not ignoring.

Sounds about right to bad its the f irst bounch of people that call all the shots.

Not really. Some of them are absolute terrors who think they deserve utmost respect and hammer anyone who doesn't give them what they think they deserve. That said, some of them are really nice. I don't LIKE Shikha or Daevos or Nariah, but they don't go out of their way to screw with people because of what they've decided they deserve. Usually. Linaeve and Vashner, on the other hand..

It's about a fifty fifty mix of decent people and bastards. Just because you don't like someone doesn't mean they're terrible.

Just to add on to what others have said.

Taking a break is always good. I know it helps me a lot when I am getting too down or feeling hopeless about a character. Going for a completely different aim that you normally go for works as well. As mentioned, there's two ways you can take a break, go cold-turkey on Lusternia, or create an alt completely different in personality and style from Ardmore.

As for the crowd within Magnagora, I wouldn't say there's only two. But then I have a very different definition of roleplaying than most people do. For those in Magnagora who are the loudmouths and bullies, just do the minimum to shut them up as quickly as possible, or simply make sure you cross their paths as little as possible. Surprisingly simple to do in the city. For the 'loud' RPers, which I believe is the second group Furien is refering to, if you're into that, go for it. But do not go in expecting them to be "nice" to you on the onstart. Then there's the third group. The ones who are not overly boisterous in the roleplay. They have a fixed personality and work around that to do things for the city.

The best advice I can give you is...find a friend. If you want to survive the bitches and jerks unscarred, you're going to need someone you can grumble to. Be it in OOC tells or in a IC fashion. Good luck.

I'd suggest you take a break, and either make a new character or find something mindnumbing to let yourself calm down.

Mindnumbing things include:
1) Math
2) Sudoku
3) Crosswords
4) WindSlayer
5) Chess
6) Checkers
7) Alteil
8) Solitaire

These things (depending on who you ask) are simple to do and can easily entertain a person and distract them for a couple of hours, each.

People will be jerks, people will be kind. People will be jerky one moment, kind the next. People will be kind one moment, jerky the next. People'll have RP, lack RP, change their mind about RP in a heartbeat. And it is stressful to keep up.

I suggest you ask yourself why Ardmore joined Magnagora. What exactly drew him there? Did something draw *you* there? Delve into Mag's Histories, and decide for yourself if there's some hidden RPers wandering about within Mag.

If it fails, start looking for another org. Good luck.

I know Magnagoran RP doesn't suit me. I'm too sensitive, IRL. Even though I can distance myself pretty well these days, I always found that playing a Magnagoran alt made me tense to the very best. Alright, I really liked some of the people and RP, but I guess I found the wrong people.

I find the rp in Mag rather interesting though, and to this day I am tempted of making an alt. (When I get this damned play done, at least, so I can properly play Saaga too, and not just tend to duties.)

EDIT: and to give you advice - take a proper break of a week or so. That is what I used to do. Do things that you find enjoyment in. It's summer! No lusternia for a while, and you'll return with renewed vigor. If things don't work out after that and you still feel you'd be better off somewhere else... Well, what Myrkr said.

Yeah, buddies are crucial. I normally make guildies my buddies, but you can expand beyond. As cities go, I'm happy with Celest, even with it's various problems and you are always welcome to a change of heart. That said, act in your own interest and in the interest that will keep you involved.

You only get away with that if you're one of those "lost cause" Magnagorans and the Iron Council realizes you cannot positively impact proceedings in any way whatsoever.

LIKE ME!

I would be preaching to the choir, but yeah. Start hanging out with the right crowd. In the Ur'Guard there have to be some good people. If not, go hang out with people like Jigan (who is really cool and gives us herofetes ) who tend to take things likely and ignore those who might want to say "you ain't good enough for us."

I would say kill them all, but you might be of lower rank than those who might want to oppress you.

If you do decide to leave the city, you will need to decide what class you want to play, and if you plan not to change to save lessons, it might help to take a mechanical look at the various skillsets if that is your cup of tea.