So I started this about and hour ago, and after a struggle with my scanner, finally got it up onto my desktop. It needs cleaning up badly, and I'll likely take the bottom words out, but it's a start.

Thoughts?

I like the music notes, but I think they take away from the picture where they are. Maybe have the staff and notes behind them? And I think his mandolin needs a little work, it's kind of rough along the neck. Otherwise I like it!

Edit: also, the staff is missing a line!

Could be me, but Daedallion's right arm seems a little wonky, particularly around the hand.

There's a little voice in my head screaming "oh my god, that music doesn't make any sense" but I don't think that's really important, and I'm just a huge nerd.

The only thing that is bugging me, artistically, is the mandolin. I don't know which way it's tilted, the perspective is really wonky. Additionally, the sleeve and the Mandolin are kind of...morphing into a single line.

I like the poses.
And your handwriting is pretty.

Okay, so I moved te musical notes to the back and began refining it. Thoughts?

Now... it just look geometrically wrong. Can you make it come out, twirl in the opposite direction, going behind the pair, and then maybe curling back just a little bit on Somaria's side?

It's only wrong because you remember the original curving out like that. Adjust the way you're looking at it and it appears to curl under behind them.

More cleaning up:

Personally, I liked the music note holding up her breasts, but then I would.

The Mandolin is still bugging me.

From the bottom it seems like it's tilting back towards Daedalion's shoulder and a little to the left, from the top...it's the total opposite. The strings and the three dots beneath them slant one way, but neck and the very top line slant the other.

You'd never think they screwed up with Glomdoring from this picture.

Also, Daedalion's left hand is nice. I suck at drawing the digits

Pretty much completely clean.

Suggestions?

I really do like this better. You can see her dress, and the music doesnt cover everything and it just looks good.
The only thing that's bugging me is where the lute and his sleeve kindof morph together.
Other than that, it looks great.

I thought Daedalion got perma-penumbra'd and is some kind of creepy little kid.

Actually I love the connotation of the music notes in the front; it suggests that Daedalion will protect you. That he will lay his life down before you. It's a loving embrace of notes that seems to hug around you...

But the other way makes better sense artistically. Somewhat-- I'm afraid the more you add will detract or take away from the musical staff. Are you planning on keep this pic as a sketch, or will you fill with shading or color?

I would fill it in with color and all that goodness, but quite honestly, I suck at it.

It would destroy the picture,

but as for Daedalion, after he met Somaria and they were married a little while, he gave up his eternal youth for her. There was a couple reasons why that I don't feel like getting into much detail with, but the bottom line was that Somaria hated that he was basically another one of her children rather than her husband and wouldn't do more 'wife' stuff because of it. When he gave it up, it opened a path forward.

The musical notes were supposed to represent his protection of her, Jan, but I like it either way.

Regarding the sleeve, I would say bring it down a bit, and add a line going down near the elbow to denote the inside of the sleeve, because with the way it curves at the bottom, you would be able to see just a little bit.

Hm. I'll do something with it when I get home.

The "black circle" musical notes really bug me because, as far as I recall, there are no "black circle" notes in music... that kind of note should have a line on it, or be "open" like a whole note.