Those of you who have casually walked through the Magnagoran City Zoo, eager to picnic upon its grounds, litter your leftover containers about, gawk in wonderment and amusement upon its inhabitants, and otherwise have not bothered to think a second thought about its history, have beheld the woodland exhibit. Within its stifling iron bars, chained to a simple but effective post, you have seen its most famous occupant.

I am, of course, referring to the carnivorous rabbit. You know what it is if you have been to the Zoo. At first glance you may think it a creature of perhaps a less endearing persuasion due to its size, but then you see its large, spacious, innocent eyes...its fur that children would kill to frolic about within...its ears that droop to give it an aura of depression that instead backfires and creates amusement...its delicately pink nose. Then upon further examination you find features out of place - the teeth and nails are sharpened beyond any normal rabbit, and indeed now beyond many mortal weapons. Indeed, you may find this rabbit to be the foulest, cruelest, and worst-tempered rodent you ever set eyes upon!

Indeed it is. But there was a time when it was crueler. For back when it was just an ordinary rabbit, and yes, there was such a time, its innocent demeanor had altered the course of our world forever, by making possible the unleashing of the force now known as the Taint.

I would know this. I was the caretaker of this very rabbit, the very instrument of the demise of Emperor Ladantine VII and thus the Holy Celestine Empire. But it was not out of malice I bore this instrument. Indeed, a little known fact about the Emperor was that he had in his possession a pet rabbit, the rabbit to which I was its guardian. The Emperor believed this rabbit to bring him good luck. Admittedly, I thought it was silly at first, but then I rationalized that having such a creature to call his own enhanced the Emperor's morale, enabling him to aspire to greater and greater heights.

And so, to reassure him of his safety and comfort him if need be, I was assigned to bring this rabbit along with us upon the Cosmic Hope Expedition. The fact that the Emperor requested the companionship of his rabbit perhaps should have given me pause about the probability of the expedition going poorly. For why would he need his lucky rabbit upon the expedition if it was going to be guaranteed as glorious as the Empire had advertised over its aether waves? Little did I know that it was the guiltless demeanor of the rabbit that would prove to be our undoing.

Carrying the cage containing the rabbit, I dutifully carried it along all the stages of the expedition, even upon the Astral Plane, where even we, the mighty escort of the Emperor, had trouble maintaining our composure within its harsh conditions. The rabbit remained mysteriously quiet up until a few moments after we settled ourselves upon the Astral Plane. It was then it stirred...more like shook the cage. I could feel it ramming itself against its thin steel walls, and through its air holes I could discern from its childlike eyes desperation. I was naïve. At the time I thought it simply wanted a reprieve from its cage to perform its...private functions, as difficult as it may be to perform them upon an environment as alien as the Astral Plane. So setting the cage down, I let it out.

That was a mistake. For when the rabbit hopped aside from us to do its business, I saw a pair of glowing, crimson eyes that throbbed when they caught sight of the rabbit. It charged at us with steel determination, and it soon revealed itself to be a goat made of living metal. For surely this alien creature upon the Astral Plane was a predator, and saw the rabbit as its prey. This drew its attention to us, and it attacked us to get at its prey, wounding two ur'Guard in the process.

That would not be the end of this rabbit's deception, however. Soon after the creature was defeated, I had lost track of the rabbit. I meant to relay this news to the Emperor, but before I could get a word in edgewise he urged us to move forward. I figured I would find the rabbit later after we had accomplished our mission and were on our way back. That was my next folly. The pillar of glowing crystals, the object of our search, soon lay ahead of our trail. As those of you who have studied this expedition may know, the Emperor soon began to channel its energy to what was then known as the Stone of Truth, and the living metal creatures attacked us in response. Being untrained in combat, I chose to stay out of the combatants' way and hid on the opposite side of the pillar of crystals.

It was there that I saw the one event that would change the course of our history, the very action responsible for the Taint's existence. For also hiding on the opposite side of the pillar of crystals was the rabbit I had so carelessly lost earlier. But much to my horror, it was busy gnawing at one of the crystals...this crystal, residing at the base, was long, narrow, and orange. To my shock I realized that it resembled the food I chose to feed the rabbit with daily, and that I had forgot to feed the rabbit before we went upon the expedition. It continued to chew upon the crystal, and before I could stop it, the orange crystal dislodged.

What came next was pure pain to witness. As the crystal was dislodged, the dark energy contained within the pillar was unleashed, changing the energy that was channeled to the Stone of Truth, and ultimately killing the Emperor and his entourage. As if to reward the rabbit for setting it free, in the process the rabbit was enveloped in this dark energy, and was forever altered into the rabbit you see in the Zoo today. After its transformation I witnessed its newfound power as it developed a vicious streak as wide as the former Stone of Truth was tall, viciously and brutally slaughtering the remaining ur'Guard that were assigned to protect the Emperor.

I ran faster than I ever conceived possible, and somehow made it back, but my soul was changed forever from what I beheld. I blocked the events from my memory until I was appointed Zookeeper of the Magnagora City Zoo, considering my previous experience with animals, and I saw its return to the city as a captive. I know the story behind its capture, but that tale will have to wait another time. For I, Rheimos, must first instill within you the moral of this one:

Fear the cute ones.