Wrote this letter to Thoros, because he was understandably WTF when he saw that Shikha left mag. Was going to make a post to explain to my mag friends why shikha left, but after re-reading this I figured I could do two birds with one stone. Enjoy?

You read what is written on a reserved sheet of Illuminati stationery:
Dearest Thoros,

I'm so sorry.

It's not that I don't like the Engine, it's that I haven't felt like I
fitted in there since like, well, ever. There are people that I love in
Magnagora: you, my family, and some friends. I love you. I understand
that you are probably really angry with me, and I'm sorry. I will always
be yours, so long as you want me.

The past few decades I've felt increasingly that I only acted in duty,
as a servant, not because of desire or my personal ambition. I
frequently perform acts that would be considered treason if carried out
by another, because my heart isn't filled with the same feelings as
others. You know me, and you've accepted me for who I really am even
though some of my traits, things like compassion, would normally seem
disgusting to those in the city. Even the love that I bear for you,
perhaps my most sacred and cherished feeling, which you have accepted
wholly, must be hidden; an impure and blasphemous emotion in the cold,
calculating Engine. You are a great man, and a great husband. You are
the greatest, brightest shining jewel from a land swathed in darkness.

I don't want to hide behind the fake calousness anymore. I want to be
free to laugh and be happy. I want to be the Shikha that you know and
fell in love with, not the mask that I've worn to appease the masses. I
had resigned myself to cold, dispassionate duty, an automaton, a simple
tool to be wielded by the city. Such a thing is highly prized within the
Engine, but my heart was sad, left only rare warmth when none were
looking, or the sparse moments that we could live in each other's eyes.

I had trapped myself in an invisible prison, guarded by my own fears,
shackled by insecurity and servitude. I languished and lamented, and
when none were looking I wept. Then I saw something, a thing that my
mind could not understand but to which my soul was drawn. I followed it,
curious, bewildered, and as I approached it I felt a change that I could
not deny. I am free now.

With the greatest love,
Your wife and friend,
Shikha

Sounds like somone isn't mag irl.....

If you aren't a legitimately evil person or if you haven't been to jail, if you don't steal candy from a babies, if you don't remove the tags from mattresses or if you always return library books on time, then I could see how you might not be cut out.

Leaving for an enemy org is much less understandable.

Assuming this was an IC decision rather than an OOC one, shouldn't it have been kept IC rather than posted on the forums...? Or are we mixing the two relentlessly again?

Also, Llandros, your defining characteristics made my day.

Shikha would never say any of this to other mags IC. Besides, I don't think any of the mags care to hear her 'excuses' ICly at the moment anyways.

I posted it here because I have a lot of people with characters in mag who I consider to be OOC friends, and a lot of them are incredibly confused about why shikha would just up and leave. I felt I owed my OOC friends an explanation for shikha's IC actions.

I don't consider posting this letter any different than posting an RP log.

Mag has this tendency to embrace the worst kind of infighting as if it's supposed to be happening, which can be a problem and is a shame since it's often a really cool city. I find it much more interesting than any other organization in Lusternia.

It's not like Gaudiguch does a whole lot to you guys, aside from Xiel / Sojiro. The org is (mostly) neutral. You know, pretty much exactly like Hallifax, actually.

But with domoths, bubbles, villages, and more than 2 people online at any one time.

Edit: And a slot machine in a sex motel.

He's just leaked the key to Gaudiguch success! Quick, everyone get a sex motel and a slot machine!

OOC shaming for orghopping? Do not want!

Nobody is OOC shaming, I just laughed at that line. That's why I quoted it.

There is supposed to be infighting in mag. Look at the tenants of the divine pantheon, look at the demon lords... This used to be done gracefully a long time ago. Role-playing and all. Nowadays people tend to make it a little too personal, and that's where things get derailed.