Kaervas arrives from the east.
The room darkens as a hideus archdemon appears.
Kaervas bumps into a cow as it wanders aimlessly in a circle.


Damn cows.

I hate cows! The only thing I hate more is trying to lead 3 or 4 sheep to a village to get more cloth made. It's constant bumping into them and takes ages.

I should have got my beloved Nil Grim Horror to eat the damned thing!

Bumping into cows has to be one of the most annoying things ever. Who just bumps into a cow while they're walking down the road? Cows are hard to miss! I mean honestly, if you're daydreaming so deeply while walking that you're bumping into COWS then how are you even still on the road???

Did it ever occur to you that maybe the COWS are bumping into YOU?!


Didn't think so.

Prolly cause the message says that you bumped into a cow not that a cow bumped into you.

I hate that leading cows you can bump into them (you're leading them, they should be behind you). I doubly hate bumping into three cows. *sits and waits and waits and waits for balance*. I feel like the cows are playing pinball with the poor little faeling.

Pshh. That doesn't rule out the possibility that the cow caused the collision on purpose, thus explaining why an otherwise graceful and alert person might run into a large bovine in the middle of the road.

Of course, support for this theory requires that we establish that the cow has motive. Suppose, for example, that the cows are really carrying out a well-concealed vendetta against two-legged passersby whilst hiding behind the common misconception that all cows are stupid lumps of walking beef. And given the rising death toll of cows due to trigger-happy (or cosmicfire-happy, slash-happy, blast-happy) two-leggers, who can blame the cows for wanting revenge?

And for those who would argue that cows are indeed stupid lumps of walking beef and therefore lack the intellect to have a sense of vengeance, think on this: The histories never mentioned the effects of the Taint on cattle. If the Taint caused Orclach to devolve into smaller, stupider counterparts, then perhaps it caused cows to evolve in smarter cows with the malicious intent to trip all passing two-legged lifeforms. Does this make cows evil?



.. don't want to go there.

Now to stop procrastinating and go back to doing something constructive..

Freedom for bovines.

What's funny is the way cows actually run ahead of you so at the point they collide with you they're "aimlessly running around in a circle", then speed off ahead so they can do it again in the next room.

*marry Dumi*

Dumihru that's the coolest cow conspiracy theory I've heard all day.

Or it might be Munsia, teaching cows to bump into people so they won't be able to move fast enough to fight. Makes sense, really. She's all for world peace.

Munsia couldn't teach a bird to fly, let alone a cow to bump.

Good point.

Bumping into cows is the reason why everyone should be an Aslaran As a mage it's pretty much the only use I have for the quick balance, but oh it's so worth it...

Lisaera will tell you about the cows and sheep.

Yeah. It's also good for bumping off an old black rat after near-killing it with a blast to conserve mana. *is a furrikin *

Having lived on a farm, and having actually led cows with hay... Yes. They do bump into you. And if you're not careful, they'll run you over because they want -more- hay.

I'm so glad they're in the freezer, now.

Tried pushing the cows yet?

I was going to say, all those scenes in movies where people are trying to walk down the road and theres a heard of cows or sheep in the way. I think its great, ofcourse sprinting solves the problem nicely.