This is from Achaea, but I'm sure other people have some humorous newbie stories.

(Newbie): Generater says, "Can someone please help me."

You caution Shmatko on the limited lifespan of the vibrations, and suggest
discovering ways to improve their resonance.

(Newbie): Boron says, "With?"

(Lusty, Busty, and Thrusty Utensils): Skye says, "Haha."

You insist that Shmatko be in control of his vibrations at all times. With a
loud clap of your hands, the air around you relaxes and the vibrations diminish.

(Newbie): Juliet says, "What do you need, Generater?"
(Newbie): Generater says, "Bitchslap juliet."
(Newbie): Generater says, "Help."
(Newbie): Kathrine says, "Hey dont do that."
(Newbie): Logistics says, "I'd say that's not the way to get it."
(Newbie): Boron says, "Thats not how to get help."
(Newbie): Generater says, "How do I bitchslap juliet."
(Newbie): Juliet says, "Please don't."
(Newbie): Boron says, "You dont."
(Newbie): Ankou says, "Eh?"
(Newbie): Logistics says, "Generater, perhaps read into HELP PK. That is an
insult."
(Newbie): Logistics says, "And while you're at it, read into HELP GUIDES."
(Newbie): Conor says, "Generater, you should learn some respect for someone
trying to help you."
(Newbie): Lanthor says, "You dont want to do that."
(Newbie): Hrar says, "Bad move bud."
(Newbie): Generater says, "Shut up AND BITCHSLAP CONOR."
(Newbie): Conor says, "Aren't you special!"
(Newbie): Generater says, "I DO WHAT I WHANT."

hehe

I'm having nightmarish flashbacks of the Discworld newbie channel...imagine lines and lines and LINES of insults spammed in quick succession. The person in question kept making accounts faster than they could ban him...

¬_¬ Okay, even if I was good enough to be a guide, which I'm not, I wouldn't. This is why. *would have that little **** shoved in time faster than you can say "omgwtflol"*

That reminds me of an Arboreal novice...her name was Ribbit. Basically, she tried to speak with someone who was idle, that person obviously didn't respond. So she went on GNT and starte yelling at us to make this person respond, and to tell him she wanted to talk, blah blah.

That same night, she suicided, then like aminute later on newbie channel, we get this person who's still in the intro, named Ribbitjr, telling us to tell this guy she needs him. She was odd.

Not as bad as the person who kept making really profane names, or the one who was Aaaaaaa, then Bbbbbb, Cccccc, Dddddd, Eeeeee, Ffffff and finally Gggggg

Reminds me of the time when someone created Chia, got dumped in time, then came back with Chiatwo, Chiathree etc. Or another newbie whose first name I can't remember, also timed, and then came back with Igotout, and Igotoutagain.

Yay, newbiequotes... Some of these are from Achaea, some from Imperian. I haven't really seen any stupid newbies here yet, but I'm probably just not looking hard enough I removed the names from these aaaaages ago when I first posted some of them, out of pity for the poor things...

Newbie says, "If i have slain some creature, do i need to bury it?"

***

Newbie says, "Hi.. EvErYbOdY.. I wanna gezzzzzz some XP.. where can I fInD SoME?"

Rebicana says, "Firstly, mind asking that again.. properly this time?"

Newbie says, "You are TalKiNG to the JESTER SUPREME TO BE. YoU jus' watch yerself or u may wake up wit a jack-O-LANTERN in yer trousersies."

Another Newbie says, "Ahm, have joined Runewardens, should I now go to Cyrene or earn myself some gold and fighting skills along the way to make myself worthy to enter the city of my guild?"

(I just loved the contrast...)
***

Newbie says, "Can i eat rats??"

***

(Acorn): Newbie says, "Is sartan an evil god."

(Acorn): You say, "Yes, just a bit."

(Acorn): Newbie says, "He chooses whether you live or die though when you die doesnt he."

***

Newbie says, "Woah! I'm a bird person. How often do I have to eat?"

***

A weak male voice shouts, "Has the maintenance stopped yet?"

(Achaea doesn't even have daily maintenance anymore, does it? *showing her age*

***

That's all I could find where it was the newbie being silly, except for one very long log of a completely and utterly clueless newbie in the Imperian intro from when I was a Guide there... I honestly think he thought he was in a chat room, he didn't even understand the concept of moving from room to room (I don't think he did by the time he left either, despite my best efforts )

Not exactly newbie, this was my first novice interview, which was actually very normal unitl the end. I know, I know, not the best rolemodel, but it was 2 in the morning.

You say, "Now, before you are allowed to be promoted, you must bring the scale
of a live dragon. You must find some way to prove it's alive."

You say, "Got that?"

(Taekyon): You say, "I'm eeeevil!"

Andaen blinks.

You roll on the floor, laughing.

You say, "I'm kidding."

Hans von Egeria stealthily begins wrapping the end of the serpent around
Andaen's feet.

Andaen, Student of Manoa says, "I was 70% sure you were."

Andaen coughs softly.

You promote Andaen out of his guild novicehood.

(Taekyon): You say, "Welcome Andaen!"

(Taekyon): Andaen says, "Thanks!"

(Taekyon): You say, "See about getting those scales for me though. *nod me*."

(Taekyon): Andaen says, "I'll give it my best shot."

(Taekyon): Andaen says, "Any particulars on the color and hue?"

(Taekyon): You say, "Gold, ancient dragon."

(Taekyon): Hans says, "I would like a silver one, while you're taking orders."

(Taekyon): Andaen says, "Gotcha."

(Taekyon): You say, "With pink speckles."

(Taekyon): You say, "And the dragon has to be wearing a bow."

(Taekyon): Andaen says, "Pink speckles! those are extremely rare you know.."

(Taekyon): Andaen says, "What colour of bow?"

(Taekyon): You say, "Fushia."

(Taekyon): Andaen says, "Size restrictions on the bow?"

(Taekyon): You say, "A giant fushia bow."

(Taekyon): Andaen says, "Hm i'll see what I can do."

(Taekyon): You say, "You say you wanna be a Defender, this is your test."

<>: You say, "I'm sooo ebiiil!"

<>: Hans says, "Heh. Ebiiil, eh?"

<>: You say, "Ebiiiiiiiiiiiiil!!!!!!"

Andaen, Student of Manoa says, "Well there'd definitely be alot of defending
involved in taking down a giant gold dragon with pink speckles wearing an even
bigger fuscia bow."

You say, "Nah, not that hard."

Hans von Egeria says, "Who said you had to kill it? Just bribe it with a fair
maiden."

You say, "How tough can a dragon wearing a bow be?"

Andaen, Student of Manoa says, "Fair maiden eh?"

Andaen ponders the situation.

Hans nods sagely at Andaen.

Andaen peers at you unscrupulously.

You say, "He's fair."

You point accusingly at Hans.

Hans von Egeria says, "But not a maiden, I'm afraid."

You have emoted: Karigan kicks Hans in the shin then runs out of the room.

You open the door to the east.

Hans closes the door to the east.

You have emoted: Karigan slumps down accepting her fate.

Hans von Egeria says, "Well, you may have to convince a god to put a dragon on
this planet for you to get the scale from, but if you can do that, the rest is
easy."

Andaen, Student of Manoa says, "Oh i'd imagine."

You say, "Oh and the dragon has to be dancing."

You bounce about wildly, stamping your feet to a song heard only in your head.

Andaen, Student of Manoa says, "Better put in that order for dragon sized
tapshoes then."

I hope we don't end up like that.

Told you, it was 2 in the morning, I didn't want to be on, but my GM was leaving and told me to interview this newbie. I was half asleep. Trust me, I don't do junk like that normally. *nod me*

Those are my favorites.