AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus v 2.0 - Now widespread in California where it wiped out the Gray Davis virus and is terminating programs left and right in the state legislature's computers.

Bill Clinton virus v 6.0 - Automatically connects to every URL in your Internet browser's list of bookmarks, then it tells you emphatically that your computer never made any connections...to any URL...because since it didn't transmit and receive simultaneously, it wasn't really connected.

Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

DEMOCRAT VIRUS - Doesn't allow you to delete inefficient programs or wasted disc space - if you try, it accuses you of being a "mean-spirited extremist".

Freudian Virus - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying it's own motherboard. Becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive.

George W. Bush virus v 2.0 - Tells you it's going to eliminate all other viruses from your computer but that it may take a long time. Then it actually does scan your computer and eliminate viruses. It also scans for Programs of Mass Destruction (PMD), which are programs that destroy a lot of files if they are run. PMDs may be caused by a number of other viruses, such as the Saddam Hussein virus. The only problems with the George Bush virus are that it uses up a lot of your computer's resources while it's scanning, it never seems to find any PMDs, and it keeps switching the background color on your computer screen back and forth between yellow and orange.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.

Johnny Cochran Virus - (Often accompanied by one or more of the O.J. Viruses.) If it has no RISC, you must FDISK.

KEN STARR VIRUS v 2.0 - Developed in early 1990's at considerable government expense. Claims to be working on one task but can quickly switch functions when the first process bogs down. Only operates on US government computers at this time. Tends to diminish effectiveness of more important programs by hogging most CPU cycles with infinite loops.



Lot's more to come. *jig*

lol

Ummm.. Nikua, what does that have to do with Alyvia's post?

My (very Liverpool) history teacher gave an assembly on these for some obscure reason (yeah, he was like that), but I only remember one.

Ryan Giggs virus - Makes the computer think its processor speed is better than it actually is.

..........

....?

Tuek was referring to the completely random and unrelated quote from Gwynn you posted along with it.



That one.

Seeing as I saw him use that quote in another thread, I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to use it here.

Valek virus: Destroys all other viruses working to destroy the system, and then does just what all the others were doing, just poorly.

Richter virus: Does lots of behind the scenes work, but eventually makes fun of other viruses that didn't know it was there, and tells them what a better job they could have done.

Marpessa virus: Demands a hug from anything in the system, making all other viruses flee in disgust.

Lisaera virus: Watch out for this one, it does strange things to your system. Might actually steal your hard drive for a time, or cause your system to spark.

Raezon virus: If caught after the Lisaera virus, actually may cause your system to catch on fire. Also may move about the system, and walk off the all the things trying to delete it. Then, makes fun of the computer for trying to delete it.

Nikua virus: This is actually a mutated program. It changes into a virus, shuts down your system, and opens the door for twenty other viruses to enter. Which of course, get stopped by the first antivirus they find.


If anyone knows these situations, well... I find them rather funny.

Ellara virus:

Makes fun of all the newly-installed programs.

Fain virus:

Makes fun of everyone.

Serenwilde virus: leaks key files and programs ... everywhere

Magnagora virus: destroys files and systems at random, then complains that it it becomes less effective

Celest virus: floods your hard disk with ... water ... for no reason. May be erased by magnagora virus occasionally.

Melanchthon virus: will disappear into your digital camera - killing pixels which reappear after a few seconds whilst racking up points like a pinball machine on speed.

Valek virus: kills and eats programs in seconds, immune to anti virus protection but complains when technitions hit it with a hammer.

I like that Magnagora virus, heh... Very accurate.

Imadis virus: downgrades itself as soon as its spotted in case it gets erased

Ravin virus: places mini viruses in ALL files and refuses to remove them, corrupting data and programs that try to remove them from a remote location.