Bottle With Boobs

by Raguel

Back to The Funnies.

Raguel2005-08-24 01:30:50
Xenthos proudly shows off New Celest Bitters:
A pale devastatingly beautiful woman, Dielia's nimble fingers shuffle the many
decks of cards she holds with fingers quick and nimble. Her pale haunting
features and dark eyes seem to bore into your soul and seem to tell if you're
bluffing. Her voluptuous figure is equally distracting, simple silken robe open
and exposing nearly obscene amounts of cleavage to be belted with a simple
silver belt.
Xenthos creases his brow in a frown.
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "Uhh... what the heck?"
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to Ishimoru, "I
don't know."
Harken Hartfire says, "What the."
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "She can be your girlfriend."
Ishimoru nods his head sagely.
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to Ishimoru,
"She's... a bottle... or something?"
Ishimoru rolls on the floor, laughing.
Kiarian blinks.
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "I don't know
exactly how one is supposed to drink from it."
Kiarian says, "Blackjack dealer?"
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "That's what it sounds like."
Xenthos frowns at New Celest Bitters.
Kiarian shouts "Oi!" at the top of her voice.
Kiarian says, "Celest can't gamble this month, hah."
You say, "The bitters is infact a seminude poker dealer...."
Ishimoru shifts his eyes suspiciously from side to side.
Xenthos looks about himself, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
Kiarian says, "They're all slightly nude..."
Harken Hartfire says, "They cant gamble period."
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "But why does Xenthos have her?"
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "Shamarah
threw her at me."
You say, "Cause he got lucky."
Ishimoru rolls on the floor, laughing.
Kiarian says, "Guess he likes nude blackjack dealers?"
Ishimoru pats Xenthos in a friendly manner.
Maelee snuggles up close to Tenat, looking happy and content.
Xenthos prods New Celest Bitters in the chest.
You drool like a simpering idiot.
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to you, "No."
Ishimoru rolls on the floor, laughing.
Kiarian gives a pained sigh.
Kiarian says, "Males."
Ishimoru pats Kiarian in a friendly manner.
Kiarian's eyes raise to the heavens as a look of hope flashes across her face.
You nudge Kiarian suggestively.
"Eh?" Xenthos says curiously to Kiarian.
Harken Hartfire says, "What females attract us."
You wink conspiratorially at Kiarian.
Kiarian coughs softly.
Harken Hartfire says, "Its like flys and poo."
"Ewwwwwww!" you say in disgust.
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "... gross."
Caighan puts some gold sovereigns in a canvas backpack.
Kiarian says, "That's a horrible metaphor."
You thwap Harken on the head.
Seer of the Wisdom of Night, Tenat Whytetower says, "What the nil?"
Ishimoru nods his head emphatically.
Harken Hartfire says, "Exept women are much more pretier."
You say, "I can imagine your first date son. Hi, wow you look prettier than poo in that dress!"
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "Most things are."
Kiarian says, "You should say like moths to fire, not flies to poo, oi."
Harken Hartfire says, "And less smelier."
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "Most are.."
Ishimoru rolls on the floor, laughing.
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "Or
butterflies to the flowers?"
Xenthos looks about himself, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "Bees to the
flowers."
Kiarian shouts "Oi!" at the top of her voice.
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "THere we go."
Kiarian says, "Nah, flame."
"Heh heh heh" Xenthos chuckles.
Harken Hartfire says, "Or."
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "Weevils to the tree."
Kiarian says, "The best women are the ones with dangerous allure."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "I suppose it
depends on the woman... flame or flower."
Kiarian says, "Nothing dangerous bout a pretty flower."
Harken Hartfire says, "Sword to celest soldiers hart."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to Kiarian,
"Thorns sting."
Ishimoru snickers softly to himself.
You ask Kiarian, "Did you object to xenthos prodding a seminaked poker dealer
in the chest?"
Kiarian says to Xenthos, "Then you're talking bout roses, and butterflies don't
hang out round those."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to you, "It's a
bottle... I think..."
You blink.
You say, "Show it again."
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "Lemme see it."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to you, "So I
don't know what's wrong with it."
Kiarian shouts "Oi!" at the top of her voice.
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "Except I have
NO clue what to do with it."
"Heh heh heh" Ishimoru chuckles.
Xenthos scratches his head in confusion.
Kiarian says, "Make a trophy of it."
The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.
You say, "Show it again."
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "Drop it."
You drool like a simpering idiot.
The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.
Xenthos proudly shows off New Celest Bitters:
A pale devastatingly beautiful woman, Dielia's nimble fingers shuffle the many
decks of cards she holds with fingers quick and nimble. Her pale haunting
features and dark eyes seem to bore into your soul and seem to tell if you're
bluffing. Her voluptuous figure is equally distracting, simple silken robe open
and exposing nearly obscene amounts of cleavage to be belted with a simple
silver belt.

Kiarian says, "Then you can see Celest get killed by their own blackjack
dealer."
You say, "No thats not a bottle."
You say, "Tats actually a woman called dielia."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to you, "It
acts like a bottle... it's the only bottle in my inventory..."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "But it has a
name."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "I am so very
confused."
Ishimoru rolls on the floor, laughing.
Mirth arrives from the north.
Kiarian says, "It's a glitch."
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says to Xenthos, "Drop it for a sec."
Kiarian says, "Bug it."
You say, "Mebbe she's inside the bottle."
Xenthos gives Ishimoru the once-over, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Haha!" laughs Ishimoru.
Mirth says, "Somebody is in a bottle?"
You say, "Like a ship in a bottle."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to Mirth,
"We're not quite sure."
You say, "Genie in a bottle."
Xenthos looks about himself, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.
Mirth says, "What's going on?"
You smile with a wink and say, "Rub her."
You drool like a simpering idiot.
Mirth blinks.
Kiarian gives a pained sigh.
You urge Xenthos onwards.
Ishimoru doubles over in laughter, wiping the tears from his eyes.
You say, "Rub the sexy bottle lady."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to you, "Don't
think so."
Mirth giggles happily.
Kiarian says, "I'm going somewhere less...busy."
Kiarian leaves to the north.
You giggle happily.
You prod Xenthos in the chest.
You urge your companions onwards.
Mirth says, "Do iiiiit."
Ishimoru's eyes fill with proud joy as he declaims, "Raguel Hartfire says, "Rub
the sexy bottle lady."
The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.
Mirth dances about in utter glee.
You are filled with proud joy as you declaim, "Munsia lets out a loud, long
'MOOOOOOOOOOOO!' at you."
"Erk!" Mirth says with a grimace.
Xenthos blinks.
Xenthos puts New Celest Bitters into a black leather and silk backpack.
Mirth puts her hands on her hips and goes "Hmmm!"
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "She can just
sit in my backpack."
Mirth says, "Who?"
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "Or it. Or
whatever the heck that thing is."
Mirth says, "What?"
Mirth exclaims, "I'm confused!"
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says to Xenthos, "Strap on a flame sigil and
drop it somewhere."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says to Mirth, "My
bottle has identity issues."
Mirth says, "May I see it?"
Xenthos takes New Celest Bitters from a black leather and silk backpack.
Xenthos proudly shows off New Celest Bitters:
A pale devastatingly beautiful woman, Dielia's nimble fingers shuffle the many
decks of cards she holds with fingers quick and nimble. Her pale haunting
features and dark eyes seem to bore into your soul and seem to tell if you're
bluffing. Her voluptuous figure is equally distracting, simple silken robe open
and exposing nearly obscene amounts of cleavage to be belted with a simple
silver belt.

Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "See?"
Mirth gives a trillingly melodic laugh.
Mirth says, "Nice tits..."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "It thinks
it's got a name."
Xenthos gives New Celest Bitters the once-over, eyeing it suspiciously.
The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "And a body."
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "Very nice imagination it has."
You shout, "Has anyone lost a sexy blackjack dealer in a bottle - answers to
tha name of Dielia!"
Ishimoru rolls on the floor, laughing.
Mirth says, "Well, your bottle is stacked."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "..."
Ishimoru doubles over in laughter, wiping the tears from his eyes.
The corners of Mirth's mouth turn up as she grins mischievously.
Ishimoru Edoc'sil, Shadow Viper says, "Oh gods, my sides hurt."
Mirth shrugs helplessly.
You say, "So this is what alcoholics mean when they say drinking is the answer
to all of life's problem's."
Mirth says, "What can I say? I have a thing for tits."
Mirth nods her head emphatically.
Citera snickers softly to himself.
You say, "Me too."
Mirth swings her arm up and high fives you enthusiastically.
You have emoted: Raguel produces an automatic cow milker.
Crimson Citera, Voice of Crow says, "How bored are you people?"
The corners of Citera's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
Mirth says, "Very."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist says, "I think... I
will leave you all to your conversation..."
Mirth giggles happily.
(Market): You say, "Pimping tiny sexy bottle lady - ask for dielia."
You see Mirth shout, "Xenthos owns a bottle with boobs."
Mirth hums innocently to herself.
(Market): Xenthos says, "I don't think she is yours to dispose of, Raguel..."
The corners of your mouth turn up as you grin mischievously.
Mirth's mouth turns up as her face breaks into a smile.
High Bard of the Wilde Kante Shizomoru, Dragon Warrior shouts, "Hahahahahahaha!
Nice one, Mirth."
(Market): You say, "Uhhh - ok its xenthos' and no sub-pimping."
(Market): Mextar says, "If its a bottle with boobs then its mine, i misplaced
it."
You shout, "No its true! You've gotta see it!!!"
Mirth giggles happily.
Seer of the Wisdom of Night, Tenat Whytetower says, "Where's it?"
Mirth says, "Xenthos has it."
Kiarian shouts, "C'mon guys, keep yer hormones under check."
Steffan Aurendil shouts, "Never."
Tenat gives a trillingly melodic laugh.
High Bard of the Wilde Kante Shizomoru, Dragon Warrior shouts, "Hahahahahaha!
Please! All warriors are a bit out there."
Kiarian shouts, "All men shall ever be boys I suppose."
Arix, Aerial Illusionist shouts, "As well as most magic users."
High Bard of the Wilde Kante Shizomoru, Dragon Warrior shouts, "Well... every
guy really."
Keeper of the Bones, Xenthos An'Ryshe, the Ebon Strategist shouts, "Please note
that I am staying out of this conversation... thank you."
Protector of Hartstone, Lady Kariol shouts, "Except me; I shall forever be a
girl."
Defender Ashteru, Druid of the Hart shouts, "And a cute one, at that."
Mextar Merlinsen shouts, "My magic allows me to lower my hormonal levels."
Mister Bobbins, a Fate Guide intones, "Please people. Stop this idiotic
shouting. You're scaring the novices."
Kaervas2005-08-24 13:13:33
4510h, 6391m, 5525e, 10p exkp-p whiskey

Laura has sharp eyes and long slender fingers. She has blonde tresses that
cascade down over her shoulders, and is slightly tall for a woman. Her figure
competes with the blackjack table for the attention of most male and some
female gamblers, no doubt.
It has 57 months of usefulness left.
It weighs 12 ounce(s).
A fine whiskey sloshes about in it.
4510h, 6391m, 5525e, 10p exk-
Bau2005-08-26 06:01:02
That'd certainly make for an interesting drink.
Yrael2005-08-26 07:05:06
Body shots and dieting gone wrong?