WHAT?! GUIDO IS TRYING HIS HAND AT POLITICAL HUMOUR?!

THIS IS GOING TO SUCK!!!

You're right, it is. This is the prologue to a series of stupid logs I'm going to write because I loathe the sound of laughter.

I know that the way I portray Roark's beliefs isn't actually exactly how he thinks in-game, but it's close enough for my skewed, biased, uninformed mind. Without further adu...

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Centre of the Necropolis.
It is difficult to detect any features of the room, due to the powerful field
of energy that is put out by the Megalith of Doom, absorbing all but the
darkest of colours and dominating everything else in the room. The architecture
of the room is designed to accommodate the Megalith of Doom with a high dome
that forms the entire ceiling. A circular series of steps descends three tiers
down to the indentation in the centre of the room where the Megalith stands.
Four archways lead out of the room to the other areas of the Necropolis, where
candles and other illumination can barely be detected through the powerful
force of the Megalith. Rising up from cracks in the floor, the Megalith of Doom
towers above everything here, polluting the air with its foul fumes. The Keeper
of the Megalith stands here radiating a tainted presence. The subtle flows of
nature culminate in this growing rose of blackness pulsing with divine
radiance. There are 4 plague lords here. A sigil in the shape of a small,
rectangular monolith is on the ground. Jack is here.
You see exits leading north, east, south, and west.
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score
score
Guido Flagg, the Ebonglom Prince
Sex : Male Race : Tae'dae
Level : 46 (35%) Rank : Luminary
Health : 2968/2968 Endurance : 13740/13740
Mana : 1726/1726 Willpower : 7530/7530
Ego : 2554/2554 Reserves : 0%
Karma : 48%
You are ranked 539th in Lusternia.
You roam the land without citizenship.
You are not in a guild.
You are a Riverwalker in the Fellowship of Explorers
You are 37 years old.
You were born on the 7th of Shanthin, 85 years after the Coming of Estarra.
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** Important news post**
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rn
ANNOUNCE NEWS #376
Date: 10/23/2005 at 14:54
From: Estarra, the Eternal
To : Everyone
Subj: New Skill Implemented
We've just finished implementing a new skillset that can be chosen by anyone. We originally planned to release it earlier and only for druids, but due to complications that arose from the exploit and after long discussion between the divine, we decided it would be best to make it more widely available.

Expect to see an event surrounding the new skill to come in a few days.


Penned by my hand on the 9th of Dvarsh, in the year 127 CE.
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skillchoice list
You have the following common skill choices available to you at this time:
COMMUNISM
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blink
You blink.
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skillchoice select communism
You swell in pride as you choose to become a student of Communism.
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The voice of Roark Libertas reverbrates across the land, "Just so you ungrateful pricks know, I am totally against this."
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ab communism
You have gained the following abilities in Communism:
Industrialization - Increase production! But at what cost?
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ab communism industrialisation
The industrialisation ability in the Communism skill is unknown to you.
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ab communism industrilization
The industrializtion ability in the Communism skill is unknown to you.
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ab communism industrializtian
The industrializtian ability in the Communism skill is unknown to you.
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AB COMMUNISM 98F03T098RG0E9G
The 98F03T098RG0E9G ability in the Communism skill is unknown to you.
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ab communism industrialization
Syntax: INDUSTRIALIZE
Cost: 10000 gold, 25% experience, 35 steel, 20 iron
Produces three random forged objects of poor quality.
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Heir of Ellindel, Narsrim Moonlit Avenger shouts, "THREE OBJECTS?1 NEEEEERRRF."
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get gold from pack
You get 15566 gold sovereigns from a canvas backpack.
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industrialize
You set to work creating a functioning socialist infastructure, but mess up and accidently starve a few million peasants.
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Somehow, that just makes you want to try harder. We'd give you an ego boost to represent that, but I'm sure Ayn Rand would have a fit.
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Estarra, the Eternal tells you, "Your attempts at political humor and literary references are futile at best."
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frown
You crease your brow in a frown.
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say I wonder what the trans skill is...
You say, "I wonder what the trans skill is..."
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The Basin of Life begins to shake, the shudding moving outward from New Celest as it grows in intensity.
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The shaking begins to subside as a great object rises into the air above New Celest. The metallic cylinder points itself towards Magnagora and begins to make its way towards the Necropolis, propelled by a jet of flame.
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Marx shouts, "Heeheehee! Feel our wrath, Magnagora!"
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say you've got to be shitting me
You say, "You've got to be shitting me."
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Lenin shouts, "Victory, at last!"
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Stalin shouts, "EHEEEHEEEHEEE!"
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The sky is consumed by a blinding golden light as Roark Libertas soars downward from the havens, intercepting the nuke and struggling to hold it at bay.
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The voice of Roark Libertas reverbrates across the land, "OBJECTIVE REAAAAAAAAALITY! EUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
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The voice of Roark Libertas echoes in your head, "Guido, I cannot hold this thing long! Already my essence is running low; damn my hatred of sacrifices! I will use the last of my power to freeze time, so that you may travel into the nether realms with my two companions and slay the Unholy Trinity of the Praetorian Proletariat!"
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The air shimmers all about you, and time seems to stand still.
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A gaping portal opens up before you, swirling with multicoloured energy. You instantly feel it tugging at your very being, and are drawn into the portal...
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The distant voice of Roark Libertas echoes in your head, growing fainter with each passing second, "Be wary, young Tae'dae! Many dangers await you in this world; this isn't a bunch of Serenguard novices we're dealing with here."
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tell roark dude, weak
You tell Roark Libertas, "Dude, weak."
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The distant voice of Roark Libertas echoes in your head, growing fainter with each passing second, "STFU. Don't screw this up. Oh, and don't piss off the old biker dude with the 'stache."
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Roark's voice fades to nothing, and you find yourself floating downward. Still wondering who this 'biker dude' is, you feel your feet come into contact with pavement.
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l
An alleyway in the heart of Moscow.
Man, whoever built this place was a total commie. I mean, look at that shoddy brickwork! They're just asking for a World War.
You see a single exit leading south.
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TO BE CONTINUED IN PART ONE... (For reals)

I LOVE IT

Guido needs sedatives.

Different from the usual, but I love it!

It's times like this I wish I actually meant something in Lusternia. I could so play a commie. With a tache. And a pipe.

Very nice.