The Best Descriptions

by Unknown

Back to The Funnies.

Jack2006-01-22 05:07:11
He is a bullish taurian and he is taller than the average troll. Although he was born we black skin
he has blood red skin as a proof of his victories and the lesson for those who are weak. His black
horns as darker than the abyss he was born. From traveling far and wide he has learned about the
world and changed his ways. Altough he still has the demonic aura and looks, he has learned to
supress his anger and to give. However, on his back it is still inscribed with midnight blue ink
that "he will destroy anyone who oppose and survive above all." (lol) He is wearing a leather vest,
a leather skullcap, a pair of leather leggings, and a pair of leather bracers.

No, I did not add the "lol" in. The "lol" is IN HIS DESCRIP.
Shiri2006-01-22 13:20:52
He is a shaggy igasho and and a strong one at that. at 8 feet 5 inches, many
around realize the fact he is TOTALLY HUGE! On his left hand is a scar, made
from one of his eary bouts with a fink, and on his right oe finger is missing,
bitten off by a rat. His back has a large S etched into the skin; a tattoo made
by an artist when he was 15. For his size, even his arms look huge compared to
the body. He is wearing an open-faced plume crested helm, a scaled jacket, a
pair of scaled leggings, an intricate ring of pearl, an onyx and bloodstone
necklace, a dolphin shaped ring, and a turquoise ring etched with seahorses.

I don't know if someone posted this already, but damnnn.
Marcalo2006-01-24 16:27:27
OK THIS ONE HAS SOME REALLY NASTY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT THINGS. SO IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED WHY ARE YOU ON THESE FORUMS TO BEGIN WITH. This is a descript from a girl from achaea, its so bad i felt the need to share it with everyone.

She is a winged Atavian and is tall and slender, and beautiful, to some. Her
long, smooth, red hair hangs gracefully down, resting gently above her buttocks,
spreading apart halfway down her back where her wings, white with a soft tint of
red, matching her hair, extend out from her back. A few unruly strands of her
hair lay on the soft pale skin of her face, often laying infront of her pale
blue eyes. Her face shows the slight scars from two long gashes along her face.
Starting at her right collar bone the words "*censor*" the phrase ending her
left collar bone, the letters mimicing a necklace ofsorts. She has full, firm
bosoms, with perky pink nipples on top, Each nipple has a tattoo around it of a
block letter "S" followed by "lut, spelling "slut" on each breast, as well as
the words "Zoo" and "Whore" which are both crossed out. To complete her
ensemble, her sweat from the hot, sultry sun nestles itself between her breasts,
making her cleavage literally twinkel under the right light. She bears the scar
of a deep axe wound on her stomach. Her small, round, firm buttocks, which bobs
back and forth seductavly as she walks The word "Rape" tattood on her left cheek
and "Me" on her right, begging for you to reach out and give it a squeeze. Her
*censor* is clean shaven save for a small heart of hair and just above her pussy is
tattooed an arrow pointing downward, along with the words "INSERT *censor* HERE".
Unknown2006-01-24 16:34:41
My Favourite although not Lusternian is Pepper's from Achaea which was basically.

---

He is a Xoran but not really he is actually just a human with really good stats
Soll2006-01-24 16:35:27
Oh dear...
Marcalo2006-01-24 16:37:53
I saw a newbies was He is a Grook, and is uglier then sin. I laughed so hard i feel out of my chair.
Ialie2006-01-24 16:58:06
QUOTE(marcalo @ Jan 24 2006, 11:27 AM)
OK THIS ONE HAS SOME REALLY NASTY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT THINGS. SO IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED WHY ARE YOU ON THESE FORUMS TO BEGIN WITH. This is a descript from a girl from achaea, its so bad i felt the need to share it with everyone.

She is a winged Atavian and is tall and slender, and beautiful, to some.  Her
long, smooth, red hair hangs gracefully down, resting gently above her buttocks,
spreading apart halfway down her back where her wings, white with a soft tint of
red, matching her hair, extend out from her back.  A few unruly strands of her
hair lay on the soft pale skin of her face, often laying infront of her pale
blue eyes. Her face shows the slight scars from two long gashes along her face.
Starting at her right collar bone the words "*censor*" the phrase ending her
left collar bone, the letters mimicing a necklace ofsorts.  She has full, firm
bosoms, with perky pink nipples on top, Each nipple has a tattoo around it of a
block letter "S" followed by "lut, spelling "slut" on each breast, as well as
the words "Zoo" and "Whore" which are both crossed out.  To complete her
ensemble, her sweat from the hot, sultry sun nestles itself between her breasts,
making her cleavage literally twinkel under the right light. She bears the scar
of a deep axe wound on her stomach.  Her small, round, firm buttocks, which bobs
back and forth seductavly as she walks The word "Rape" tattood on her left cheek
and "Me" on her right, begging for you to reach out and give it a squeeze. Her
*censor* is clean shaven save for a small heart of hair and just above her pussy is
tattooed an arrow pointing downward, along with the words "INSERT *censor* HERE".
249849








HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Cute.
Soll2006-01-24 17:36:44
That's Ialie in Achaea.

...

hide.gif
Aiakon2006-01-27 22:01:08
Kharvik's desc (or old desc perhaps..?) amuses me.. I've just come across a statue of him in Magnagora which I'm about to enchant...

probe statue yields:

He is a glistening undead mugwump changeling titan and is truly slick. His
description is so amazing that mortal eyes cant evaluate that which is truly
Him. He is wearing shadowy runic robes, a turquoise charm bracelet, a ring of
midnight-hued steel, a golden dragon ring, and an elegant silver and sapphire
bracelet. He walks with the highfavour of Shikari.
It has 220 months of usefulness left.
It weighs about 375 pounds.

Which raises difficulties for me, because amusing enough as a description.. it sure as hell doesn't work as a statue. Mebbe I should destroy it. *ponder*
Peeka2006-01-27 22:53:35
QUOTE(Ialie @ Jan 24 2006, 11:58 AM)
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Cute.
249860



More like disgusting.
Unknown2006-01-27 23:20:13
Kurt


He is a shaggy igasho and stands at a towering height of 9'3", his musculature a
prime and ideal example of his genetic inheritance: a mass of bulk and dense
sinew. His thin fur coat bears a pitch black midnight coloring, which seems to
blend entirely in shadow and darkness. Atop his scalp is a small mess of deep
indigo locks. Despite his size and mass, with the exception of a massive jaw and
chin, his facial features are sharp and narrow. His eyes are a bright, pupiless
yellow, glowering like smoldered balefire.
Joli2006-01-28 01:17:51
Marc.. that description is nasteh..

She should be shrubbed or at least talked to about that...
Marcalo2006-01-28 01:19:30
She suicided once my character wouldn't date her, then started hitting on me with her new alt.
Joli2006-01-28 01:30:50
QUOTE(marcalo @ Jan 27 2006, 08:19 PM)
She suicided once my character wouldn't date her, then started hitting on me with her new alt.
251144




I don't really see why any respectable or.. well.. semidecent guy would date someone like that. unsure.gif
Aiakon2006-01-28 12:37:27
that's because you're not a man.
Unknown2006-01-28 13:15:29
Aiakon, you are aware that there was a 99% chance that it was a man RL? I doubt any girl would have a desc like that.

EDIT: Found it! How to diagnose if a character is played by a guy, from my favourite webcomic's forum (http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript)

QUOTE
Anyway, the signs that someone is playing cross-gendered:
-- They make a big deal out of their character's boob size and/or attractiveness.
-- They make a big deal out of their character's sex life.
-- They make a big deal out of their character's "female intuition" or "innate compassion".
-- If there are other females in the group, they make an unusual attempt to bond with them in a "we're all girls together" sort of way.
-- As soon as their gender is a disadvantage, they cry foul.
-- As soon as they can parley their gender into an advantage, they leap at the chance (especially showing a bit of cleavage or even sleeping with various NPCs).
-- They're not married, don't have a boyfriend, have never had a boyfriend, have no interest in having a boyfriend, and in fact don't want any sort of relationship with a guy at all except an exploitative one.
-- They act controlling and bossy, fully expecting to be considered as an equal contender in leading party negotiations or even just leading the party.  In some settings, or if the character is specifically Amazonian, this would make sense.  In the standard D&D game world, it doesn't.  But see the above point about getting bent out of shape if their gender is a disadvantage.
-- They act very huffy and defensive if someone accidentally addresses them using the wrong gender.  (Which is especially funny in an online game, where the offending person is usually only reacting to the very masculine way the person was portraying their "female" character.)
Aiakon2006-01-28 13:51:39
QUOTE(Cuber @ Jan 28 2006, 02:15 PM)
Aiakon, you are aware that there was a 99% chance that it was a man RL? I doubt any girl would have a desc like that.
251262



Absolutely. And men know what men want. Clearly I'm not going to be looking for potential partners on the internet.. a description like that is hardly going to have the OOC me saying "Phoar! I want me some of that!".. but if I'm going to RP a good red blooded male, it would be plain good Roleplay to be attracted to them.
Unknown2006-01-28 14:29:16
Yeah, except that I have yet to see any RP in Achaea tongue.gif .
Peeka2006-01-28 15:38:31
Well, any character who is attracted to someone with "Rape me" (which suggests the player is insanely naive or maladjusted or just plain creepy) tattooed on their ass is not someone I will ever care to be associated with.
Verithrax2006-01-28 19:06:31
QUOTE(peeka @ Jan 28 2006, 12:38 PM)
Well, any character who is attracted to someone with "Rape me" (which suggests the player is insanely naive or maladjusted or just plain creepy) tattooed on their ass is not someone I will ever care to be associated with.
251295


This reminds me of that time I got jumped (And no, I don't mean jumped as in attacked) by a girl in Aetolia:
(13:59:32) Verithrax: Heh. This girl on Aetolia just asked me for sex out of the blue, for no apparent reason.
(13:59:40) Gerald: rofl
(13:59:44) Gerald: copy/paste?
(14:00:49) Verithrax: Kiala tells you, "Hi there."
(14:00:54) Verithrax: You tell Kiala, "'ello. Do I know you from somewhere? I'm afraid I do not recall your name."
(14:01:00) Verithrax: Kiala tells you, "No, you dont know me..."
(14:01:09) Verithrax: Kiala tells you, "Im just wondering if you wanna have some fun with me."
(14:01:18) Gerald: rofl
(14:01:25) Gwylifar: Ask how much it costs.
(14:01:55) Verithrax: Firt thought that crossed my mind, she's after my blood.
(14:02:01) Verithrax: First even.
(14:03:01) Verithrax: She is a Human. She is wearing:
(14:03:02) Verithrax: a seductive schoolgirl style tie-up blouse
(14:03:02) Verithrax: a daring shiny black leather miniskirt
(14:03:02) Verithrax: a pair of high-heeled, shiny black leather, thigh-high boots
(14:03:35) Talog entered the room.
(14:04:15) Gerald: LMAO
(14:04:41) Verithrax: Talog, I've been asked for sex by a total stranger on Aetolia.
(14:06:32) Verithrax: What I fear is that the player behind her is a guy.
(14:08:54) Verithrax: Kiala says, "So, you wanna use that big stick of yours?"
(14:09:10) Verithrax: *rofl*
(14:11:31) Gerald: hahahaha

And yes, I'm disgusted by guys who play like that and will instinctively point and laugh.