A truly Canadian Apology to the USA, courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television:

Hello. I'm Anthony St. George on location here in Washington.

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you, doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you had ten times the television audeince we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you'd never do that.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defence I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As word of apology, please accept all of our NHL teams which, one by one, are going out of business and moving to your fine country.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the War of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Loverboy, that song from Seriff that ends with a really high-pitched long note. Your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. Because we've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

For 22 minutes, I'm Anthony St. George, and I'm sorry.

Thats so great.

For some reason I found this to be the funniest part of the whole thing.

I love Canada.
Almost as much as I love Australia.

A Canadian Comedian once likened the two places, saying that they sent the convicts here, to Australia... and... some other demographic there. Iunno, it was funny, but I feel your pain. And I'm sorry.

Heh this was good!

I love it!

That reminds me of two of my best buddies, they both live in Canada and they're JUST like that The sarcasm is so awesome

There is an absolutely hilarious song by the Arrogant Worms about that.

Oh good, was wondering when someone would find that song. In grade seven we got to listen to it for a week straight

"Your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain. "

That made me laugh out loud here at work.

...didn't the British burn down the White House?

No, it was the Canadians. I think Canada was British territory at the time though, right?

Yep, we were British for about 50 some odd years from that time. Then we asked for our soveriegnty and the British decided we were too expensive

So technically speaking, Canada didn't burn down the white house. The British did.

I'm pretty sure I've seen this on the forums before, hmm.

(I swear it was Gregori that posted it, too. )

Well, if you want to get technical, yes. But the army was mainly people who lived there, there were army members from the British Isles of course, but it too a terrible amount of time to send men from the Isles.

And Canadians have a sense of pride even though sometimes it seems we dont. Give us a chance to boast every once and awhile.

I love Canadians. I really do.

thats great

Another reason to like us.

Rule Britannia!