The Gloaming

I stood in front of the rickety gates,
Knowing that this would be my fate,
In a place that may hold eternal hate,
This place known as the Gloaming.

I open the gate and walk inside,
And I feel a chill run down my spine,
But something inside me says “you’ll be fine,”
This place known as the Gloaming.

In my wake there are several graves,
Where souls lay and will forever remain,
I look around for the one that I will claim,
This place known as the Gloaming.

I stop and fall upon my knees,
Where my grandfather lay in eternal sleep,
I do not cry or scream or weep,
This place known as the Gloaming.

I leave the flowers on the stone,
And walk through the gates that seem to moan,
I vault on my wyrm, destination: home,
This place known as the Gloaming.

As I look back from time to time,
I thought I heard a secret rhyme,
Chanting from the graves inside,
This place known as the Gloaming.

I like this quite a bit.

One line does catch me up a bit, "In my wake there are several gray graves," the syllable count is sa bit high compared to all of your other starting lines, so it throws off the flow somewhat. The second line in that same stanza has a similar problem, but to a lesser extent.

To fix the first line, I'd suggest just dropping "gray". For the second, i'm not sure, but it might take a litte rewording.

I dropped the gray. Thanks for the advice - always appreciated.

Really good, Athana. You have a sense for flow and rythm.

My thanks, glad you liked it

EDIT: and this is where it came from for those who don't know Magnagora well

Graveyard in The Gloaming. (road).
The bright sun shines down, blanketing you with its life-giving warmth. A short wooden fence around this section of The Gloaming has long since had its gates ripped off as it protected this graveyard. None of the graves have gravestones and their inhabitants are lucky enough to have a wooden plank with incomplete information scratched into it. Toward the back of the graveyard is a massive pit that has been partly filled, which is used as an ongoing burial ground for the ever-increasing number of deaths in this neighborhood starving and violent castaways.
You see exits leading southeast, south, and west.

Why does that poem (fantastic, btw) remind me of another poem/song? Did you get the rythm and structure from another poem?

Not specifically, there are lots of poems/songs that use that type of repetition though

There is one in particular that is on the tip of my tongue, but blah. You're right, I've seen it a lot. I'm sure I have a few written in that way.

I'm writing a poem about a Muffin Man at the moment, it's making me laugh and I can't get it finished .

I love this. It's sort of eery, which is exactly the sense the Gloaming gives out. It's also where Veo grew up, so I've always held the gloaming in a special place in my heart. I always had the desire to make Veo try and get the gloaming fixed up, I just never got around to it.