Also in those situations you get into the mindset that says 'Im alone, so alone. No one knows what this is like, no one. No one understands me.' Youve seemed to experience this Joli, hey going through having a parent die is really hard. People just need to be understanding, comforting and realize that you probably arent thinking right at the moment. The 'cheer up' routine does not work, I can promise that. But as Joli said, nor does the jeers.

I've learned that talking to counselors at my school doesn't work because of this. As I've stated in others posts I live in a highly religious area and everytime I have a problem I get the "God has a plan speech." God may have a plan.. but it really sucks sometimes.

If someone comes to you upset.. don't bring up holy plans.. don't tease them.. don't be unnaturally chipper.. Just listen, try to help come up with solutions, and be there for that person. (I'm writing a self help book IC.. )

Dad hasn't died.. but he's going to the doctor tomorrow to schedule his surgery.. might be sometime soon. Mom is mad because they keep putting it off and I think I heard that this hospital is booked until May..

I know exactly how the God speech goes. People who I have become really close friends and asked the reasons why Im sad sometimes have said that. Im not even religious and dont honestly believe that 'God has a plan' and all that.

Though, youre really lucky your dad can go and take treatments for this. Really really lucky and I hope in the end for you that everything turns out fine with your dad.

Oh, and a really good thing to have around during these times. My friends did this, and Im eternally grateful for them doing this. They were just there, they saw me almost everyday. They realized without me saying a word I didnt want to be alone and just spent time with me, they got me out of my house and just made me do stuff. It really works and keeps you going. But then again, to each their own. I hope the book comes along well

I'm not sure that is always true... guilt can be a powerful preventative measure, but then at some stage your own needs have to be put before others'.

I think suicide is usually awful, and like YoLF I doubt I have the willpower required to actually finish the job... I just don't think it is easy to say that all those who take their own life are selfish, or that they all fit nicely into one or two categories.

Edit: And that's really good advice too, Joli. Unfortunately, my only skill in consoling someone is listening to them... I never have any idea what to say.

i agree, there is nothing more frustrating when you're not quite right than to hear someone go 'you've just got to snap out of it mate'

It's much better to just have someone go, that sucks man, let's go (get drunk, go to the beach, go for a drive , or something else to do). Can make the world of difference.

Sometimes even the murphs just needs a hug.

Wait... does this mean an end to the can?

Personally I'm a wallower. I don't like seeing or talking to people when I'm depressed or upset, because it makes me feel worse. Especially because actually being with friends is sometimes what depresses me. I've always found that it's much nicer to have someone sort of just...not ask questions, just be there for you, but not be there when you're at your worst, and to just listen to you vent.

I know you might feel like you need to wallow, but it is seriously the worst thing you can do. When you're down you need to get off your butt and do something to break that cycle. See friends, walk, run, write, just anything to break the momentum of the mood.

I philosophize when I'm depressed. Makes it worse for a while, but then as I get things sorted out, I feel better. Helps me get things worked out, and understand the way things are, and come to terms with it. I guess that could be considered wallowing, but I'm generally a loner anyways, so a lot of time its just me and my thoughts.

Unfortunately, the thing is, people die. Some people die because they want to, and some die because of accidents, illness or just simply wearing out their bodies with age. Simply getting to know someone makes it worthwhile - while they might be gone now, you know that person well and hopefully you enjoy knowing them.

As for suicide - it's a horrible thing for those left behind, but sometimes, people just don't want to go on, for whatever reason. I can't say that I understand it, because I've never been in that kind of state, and it's just dumb luck that's meant that I haven't. If you do get to that point, then the best thing you can do is talk to someone who is just going to listen to you.

While it may seem cliched and alien to some people, some of the best people to talk to are priests, or monks (not the hellfire and brimstone variety - and, actually, both Christian and Bhuddist). You don't have to believe in God, or in any kind of Christianity to talk to them. Most of them are willing to just sit there and listen, which is what you need, really, and then, they can offer some kind of help, not in the 'God has a plan' sense, but in terms of practical advice, or at least, that's what I've found when I've spoken with them when I've been stressed or upset.

You could always turn that depression and sadness into something productive. I became GA after being upset for a while. I was upset over something stupid, but it helped me keep my mind off of things.

I wish there were some other type of priests here besides the holy rollers. I find that when I actually spoke to someone like Shikari mentioned.. they were doing most of the talking, which gets very irritating.

Heh. I was really depressed a few years ago, and that's when I played Achaea the most. I think it kept me sane, even though I was super anti-social. I do actually have a few friends who I'm very comfortable talking with though...but only a few, because I don't like talking about problems. I've never talked to someone I didn't really know though, or anyone in my family. I'm picky choosy.

Video games always make me feel worse. Part of the reason I wanted The Sims. Something I can do without really thinkings, and bad things don't really happen

Sometimes just there's nothing more to do. Once you've done everything you wanted to, why going on? Anyway, usually self-conservation instinct makes suicide a very difficult option to take, so probably that girl you started talking about had much more deep things going on.

Personally, and after certain toying with the theme when I was young and dark and quite idiot, I think I won't be able to do something like that ever. I just don't care about the bad things in my life enough to do the effort of overcome said instinct and cause a lot of harm to those around me.

Life is like a big deep pool, you can go down and down but there's a moment when you just touch the bottom of it and can go spring back to the surface. Human beings are incredibly resistant.

I have personal problems (probably mental, my ex-boyfriend swears I'm bipolar) and I hate telling people about them when they reach -that- point. I feel petty, as though I'm attention-seeking or something. I went through a period where I slashed my arms daily, so there would be welts and blood and cuts across my arms and sometimes my legs all the time, and somehow my family didn't notice. Even the teachers at school noticed, but didn't do anything about. Even now, six years or so later, I still have powerful urges to claw at my arms with my nails, staples, keys, anything sharp that's close to hand, when I get into one of those moods. The last time I ended up crying because of it, I begged my best friend and my fiance to help me, to stop me from hurting myself.

Neither particularly helped, though my fiance managed to annoy me which probably shook me out of it a bit. I'd never kill myself, though. Sometimes, you just need... people. It's the aloneness that hurts. It doesn't matter what you may or may not have, sometimes the only way to get through it is to -really- feel that you aren't alone after all. There's a difference between knowing people are there and not being alone, and for some people, that's the difference between life or death.

As for trying to help those who want to commit suicide... it's different, it changes from person to person. A close friend of mine who experienced some very traumatic incidents several years ago still has massive problems with depression, and I do the best I can to help him smile. My best friend is... she's up and down, like me, and all I can do is try to knock some sense in when she's down and smile and look away when she's up (cause she's really up then). One of my close school friends had her uncle commit suicide out of the blue a few years ago, and she went through absolute misery. He shot himself, nobody in the family knew anything was wrong, and she was very close to him beforehand. All we could do for her was try to help her understand that he didn't do it to hurt them, that she had to keep moving on anyway. An old friend of mine used to go out of her way to destroy her life (sleeping around, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, all sorts of things, on top of the molestation and gang rape she also went through) because she had a disease or condition of some sort that made her immune system attack itself. She's nearly died a few times because of it, and she was on tablets that were lowering her lifespan in order to keep her healthier now, last time I saw her. She disappeared a few years ago. I worry about her everyday. You just do what you you can to help them in any way you can, whether it's yell at them when they're pulling stunts, or hold them close when they cry.

I think I may have rambled enough now... sorry.

On that note, yay for bipolarness. I got mine from Dad, who's bipolar also and apparently the doctor says its 20% hereditary, my luck i'm in that 20%.

The problem is not so much being low, but swinging from 100% high to 100% low in the course of 5 minutes, and people are like wtf pissed you off and it's hard to say...nothing just cuz.

The worst problem is passing from utterly depressive that makes all people in 20m around to cry to hyper histeric nervous with excess of energy and quite annoying in certain cases, and also prone to get angry for stupid reasons.
Makes you lose friends.
Medication helps, though. Luckily

yeh i get angry a lot over stupid things, like for instance if i'm concentrating on something i spook easily. like someone might call out or say hi or even just open the door and i'll jump and then explode at them

fun times

Five minutes? I know I tend to change moods within seconds, rather than minutes.

A close friend from elementary school was Bipolar (type I) and ended up getting locked up, hanging himself in jail. That's one crazy disorder.



Bipolar is much more than just mood change.