I don't usually pass these on, but I loved the original routine, so I think this is funny.


>>You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old
>>to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of
>>us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on.. If Bud
>>Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's
>>on First?" might have turned out something like this:
>>
>>
>>
>>*COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT*
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
>>thinking about buying a computer.
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Mac?
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... No, the name's Lou.
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Your computer?
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Mac?
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... I told you, my name's Lou.
>>
>>ABBOTT: What about Windows?
>>
>>COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Do you want a computer with Windows?
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Wallpaper.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Software for Windows?
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
>>proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Office.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... I just did.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... You just did what?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Recommend something.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... You recommended something?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Yes.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... For my office?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Yes.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... OK, what did you recommend for my office?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Office.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... Yes, for my office!
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... I recommend Office with Windows.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say
>>I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I
>>need?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Word.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... What word?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Word in Office.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... The only word in office is office.
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... The Word in Office for Windows.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... Which word in office for windows?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
>>some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have
>>anything I can track my money with?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Money.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... That's right. What do you have?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Money.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... I need money to track my money?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... It comes bundled with your computer.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... What's bundled with my computer?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Money.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... Money comes with my computer?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Yes. No extra charge.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... One copy.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... Isn't it illegal to copy money?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... They can give you a license to copy money?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Why not? THEY OWN IT!
>>
>>
>>
>>(A few days later)
>>
>>
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>>
>>COSTELLO:..... How do I turn my computer off?
>>
>>ABBOTT:.......... Click on "START"....

Reminds me of you trying to help me with my computer..

Preeeetty much.

I seriously don't have a program called "word" anywhere.. and plus I was panicing because it was for my final paper.. So yes, I was flipping out.

hahaha! that's exelent! i really liked their who's on first, so that's really good. when i was trying to tell my classmates in my history class about it because we were studying entertainment of the ninteen twenties and we had to do reports on entertainers from the time noone understood. but our teacher got a clip of it and let us watch it. i love that thing.

the ending is the best
"oh! that's the name of the shortstop!"

That sounds too much like the "support calls" I get from my mom.

Her: I can't send an email.

Me: In what sense?

Her: I am pushing a button and it refuses to send.

Me: What button are you pushing?

Her: The internet one.

Me: Ok, before we go into the specifics of what the "internet button" is... Did you actually write the message?

Her: Of course.

Me: Great, so what's an "internet button" now?

Her: The one with little blue TV's and a wire thingy on it.

Me: Mom, you've got broadband - it's always on. You don't need to push that button, and this is the tenth time we are going over this.

Her: Broad what? Nevermind, what am I supposed to be pushing then?

Me: The Send button in your email client.

Her: Email what?

Half an hour later I am at my parents home, pushing the Send button in the email client to deliver a three line message to my sister.