Actually I was going by the assumption that she wasn't Trill, had no Trill blood and simply took on trill-like traits as that's the way furrikins are described on the website. In the case that she was once Trill or some such, you can easily enough substitute betrays or some such in there.

That is so pretty

I'm not really good at this, but just from an outsider's POV, the first bolded is kind of a no-no. You want to make them think he used to be a trill, but you don't want to directly tell people that. (I'm a bit guilty of doing that, though).

Second Bolded:
"Stark white hair cascades down the side of his harsh face to his hallowed chest, barely expanding with every breath, giving the impression that he does not breathe at all."
Is how I might reword it, since when I see the word trill and breasts, I think of meaty, chicken breasts. Or boobs.

I've always thought Synl looked rather striking and mysterious, I'm envious. Which makes him rather...well, attractive and magnetic, I suppose.

"She is a nimble elfen and you see that she has the correct amounts of arms and legs. A sense of relief floods you as you realize you won't be forced to avoid the uncomfortable point of too many limbs in conversation."

Wait, doesn't having the right number of arms and legs force people to avoid talking about too many limbs in conversation?

I feel like there's something missing. And this is a general-all-race description because I am uber lazy. Spelling, grammar, & reduction of run-on sentences suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I know pleat refers to clothing, but it just sounded better :X

updaaate as per Linaeve's suggestion;



Wonder if this sounds better!

haha.. that made my day yesterday when i saw that..

thanks

I get a very awesome picture of what her hair and form look like, but nothing of her face besides the colour of her eyes. Maybe just a little more on that.. like what the bone structure of her face is, what's her nose look like, that kind of thing. And is she always grinning impishly? Other than that, it's great. Love the twig-like horns especially!

She is a regal aslaran and a feminine figure of subtle grace. Her body is well
slender and womanly, still remaining well-toned. Her fur is luxuriously red,
always kept tidy and relatively short, showing the slender form. Her eyes are
green and golden, a mischievous glint dancing in them at times. Her skin bears a
faint 's' mark near her neck. Her slender tail flicks occasionally behind her,
as she calmly observes the situation.

help me with this one, Viravain-lady?
Pretty please?

Sheis a noble imperial merian and is crowned with flowing silver white hair that glimmers against her supple royal skin. Her elven ancestry is made evident with her pointed ears, piercing eyesthat have a strange sapphiric fire to them, and full moist lips, which promises that distinct elusive smile. She stands 5 feet and 8 inches tall with a lithe figure.

Need to quite update it and I'd appreciate help! I'd also like to reinvent my hair a bibt, adding a plait perhaps, but not braiding the entire hair... can't put it in words correctly.

Here is one of my alts:

She is a feathered trill and is very diminutive, standing at only about four and a half feet tall. Her skin is a light sandy brown, stretched tight over her small frame. Soft, tiny feathers of a golden brown coat her head like hair, ending at her jawline. Her eyes are a brilliant blue, speckled lightly with green. Great wings of a shimmering gray grace her form, certain feathers having differing hues, such as pure white or midnight black. She usually stands with a smile on her face and a slight lean, accentuating her youthful body and her perfectly flat chest.


^ The only problem I see with this description is that some of the sentences are short and it kind of jars your reading a little.



No numbers. Numbers are bad.

She is a noble imperial merian and has a lithe figure, standing slightly less than a fathom tall, supple cobalt skin covering her body. Her head is crowned with flowing silvery-white hair, braided slightly in places, combed loosely in others. Admitting to an elfen ancestry, long, pointed ears rest at the sides of her head, coupled with fierce sapphire eyes, and full moist lips that are more often than not curved in a smile.



She is a regal aslaran and has a feminine figure of subtle grace. Her body is slender and womanly, remaining well-toned. Her fur is a brilliant red, hugging close to her body, showing off her sensual curves. Her eyes are golden-green, a mischievous glint harbored in them at certain times. A faint mark in the shape of an S is visible near her neck.

...stands at a fair height of five feet and eight inches, posessing an elegant, lithe frame. She is crowned with silvery-white hair, hiding a few loosely braided strands behind her Elfen like ears. Eyes that burn with a sapphiric fire enchances the complexion of her supple, cobalt-hued body. Full, luscious lips appear to teasingly promise the sight of an alluring smile.

This is Shamarah.

He is a glistening mugwump and a tall, skeletal figure, with corded muscles stretched taut across lanky limbs. His features are broad and droopy, framing hooded, brooding frog’s eyes that glow with an odd crimson light. Wet braids of pitch-black hair hang against his swamp-colored skin like threads of shadow, held together by crow’s feathers and gleaming ebon beads. His hands are often nervously running over one another, their long, graceful fingers tense with anticipation.

Thanks dude!

How does that look?