Descriptions!

by Valarien

Back to Chronicles of the Basin.

Unknown2007-01-15 08:19:50
QUOTE(arkzrael @ Jan 15 2007, 02:54 AM) 373495

My biggest IC failure....writting descriptions...I'm the world's greatest with over detailing and rambling.

Born elfen, reincarnated faeling.
Anyways, here's the current form of Arkie.

"She is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and stands confident at an average sort of
height. From what can be seen, her body is toned from rigorous exercise. Her
hair is in dozens of braids, coloured the deepest of red, and falls to just past
her waist. Her eyes are of a crystalline emerald liquid fire, taking in the
world around her with a quirky curiosity. The flesh that can be seen on her
body is of a radiant grey pearl. Her hands mostly covered, you can still see
the black and red veins showing on her fingers, showing you the memories of her
former healer's touch. Similar veins can just barely be seen on her neck, faint,
but still apparent. A thin, pinkish scar, runs from the right side of her
forehead, over her right eyebrow, and down just over her right cheekbone. Her
face is bright and still young, though no longer quite so childlike, and a pair
of dainty, rectangular reading glasses are perched upon her nose at times. A
pair of large deep red wings similar to a bat's sprout from her back, the veins
and bones like black spiderwebs fading into the red membrane. They appear
tattered, but functional, and she stretches them out occasionally, showing a
good wingspan, before folding them to her back."



Here's mine: She is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and stands at an average height. Her eyes are of a fiery emerald and shine with a hint of curiosity. Her skin is of a radient gray pearl and covers her well toned body. Light black and red vains criss-cross her hands. Similar vains lightly run down her neck. Her face has a young dainty look to it. A pair of rectangular reading glasses rest upon her nose at all times. A light scar runs from the right side of her forehead to her cheekbone and just passes over her eye. On her back sprout a large pair of red, bat-like wings sprout from her back. A spiderweb of vains and bones can be seen through the thin red membrane. Small cuts and rips have tattered them but they are still very functionial. A stretch of the wings show there large span.

Hope you like it
Unknown2007-01-15 15:38:03
QUOTE(arkzrael @ Jan 15 2007, 01:54 AM) 373495

My biggest IC failure....writting descriptions...I'm the world's greatest with over detailing and rambling.

Hawt description snipped


You can't be serious. Arkzrael's description is teh awesome.
Unknown2007-01-15 15:49:40
QUOTE(Ymbryne @ Jan 14 2007, 10:10 PM) 373411

Hello -- this is my first time posting. I'm a Lusternia newcomer. If it's a pinned thread it doesn't count as thread necromancy, right? huh.gif


She is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and diminuitive even among her species, her demeanor both youthful and vivacious. An earthy ambience surrounds her form, the aura of a dweller from the darkest of woods. Her frame is slender and feminine, but not to the point of fragility. A slightly mirthful expression is predominant on her heart-shaped face, her full lips slightly darker than her burnished bronze skin. Her almond-shaped eyes, the colour of cocoa (I don't think there's cocoa in Lusternia... the equivalent to that is kafe I believe), are smudged around the lids with kohl, adding a slightly sultry demeanor to her countenance. Rimmed underneath each eye are four small dashes, tattooed onto her skin. Her thick, chocolate-brown (Again, I don't think there's chocolate here in Lusty)hair is twisted and matted into ropelike locks, framing her face in places and trailing down to her mid-back in others. Wound into a few of these thick strands is a crow's feather here and there, and her slightly pointed ears barely peek out from beneath their mass. Her small, nimble hands and feet end in tiny, sharp claws. Her wings rest folded against her back when she is standing still, each comprised of a forewing and hindwing and elongated in shape. The fragile wings are transparent and tinged only the slightest of mossy green, and are laced by intricate, sienna-hued veins.

Like some others, I'm a bit iffy on describing things that aren't physically there, like presences and whatnot, but I'll leave that up to you. I mainly just pointed out some word choices and phrasings, but the desciption is well done overall.
Kharaen2007-01-15 16:11:47
QUOTE(Shou @ Jan 15 2007, 10:49 AM) 373587

She is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and diminuitive even among her species, her demeanor both youthful and vivacious. An earthy ambience surrounds her form, the aura of a dweller from the darkest of woods. Her frame is slender and feminine, but not to the point of fragility. A slightly mirthful expression is predominant on her heart-shaped face, her full lips slightly darker than her burnished bronze skin. Her almond-shaped eyes, the colour of cocoa (I don't think there's cocoa in Lusternia... the equivalent to that is kafe I believe), are smudged around the lids with kohl, adding a slightly sultry demeanor to her countenance. Rimmed underneath each eye are four small dashes, tattooed onto her skin. Her thick, chocolate-brown (Again, I don't think there's chocolate here in Lusty)hair is twisted and matted into ropelike locks, framing her face in places and trailing down to her mid-back in others. Wound into a few of these thick strands is a crow's feather here and there, and her slightly pointed ears barely peek out from beneath their mass. Her small, nimble hands and feet end in tiny, sharp claws. Her wings rest folded against her back when she is standing still, each comprised of a forewing and hindwing and elongated in shape. The fragile wings are transparent and tinged only the slightest of mossy green, and are laced by intricate, sienna-hued veins.

Like some others, I'm a bit iffy on describing things that aren't physically there, like presences and whatnot, but I'll leave that up to you. I mainly just pointed out some word choices and phrasings, but the desciption is well done overall.


Fountains product hot cocoa.
Unknown2007-01-15 16:36:04
Whoa.... really? In that case, nevermind then!

*jumps into fountain*
Unknown2007-01-16 02:10:37
Could someone maybe give me some help in updating Galren's description? Now that he's joined the Glom, the "Happy-go-lucky wanderer" sense I gave to him seems a little out place to me, and I'd like to try to create a more dark and sinister feel to him, but can't really describe it without totally ruining his underlying character.

Current desc: Describe self is a head or so taller than what is typical of his race, the majority of his stature owed to his ears, which rest atop his head between an unkempt mane of ale colored fur. This hue darkens gradually along his lanky, scar-spotted frame to that of a well stained piece of mahogany, eventually reaching a dusky black as it nears the very tip of his rudder like tail. His eyes, when open, are a sickly green, lacking sparkle perhaps, but fitting to the down-to-earth sense of his gaze; a curious counterpart to his relaxed, easy posture and the soft, kind smile betrayed by a faint tracery of laugh lines around his muzzle.

If it helps, my general view of Galren now is as a bit of an introvert with a serious lust for power as his underlying motivation.
Linaeve2007-03-03 01:08:37
QUOTE(Lazu @ Jan 15 2007, 09:10 PM) 373800
Could someone maybe give me some help in updating Galren's description? Now that he's joined the Glom, the "Happy-go-lucky wanderer" sense I gave to him seems a little out place to me, and I'd like to try to create a more dark and sinister feel to him, but can't really describe it without totally ruining his underlying character.

Current desc: Describe self is a head or so taller than what is typical of his race, the majority of his stature owed to his ears, which rest atop his head between an unkempt mane of ale colored fur. This hue darkens gradually along his lanky, scar-spotted frame to that of a well stained piece of mahogany, eventually reaching a dusky black as it nears the very tip of his rudder like tail. His eyes, when open, are a sickly green, lacking sparkle perhaps, but fitting to the down-to-earth sense of his gaze; a curious counterpart to his relaxed, easy posture and the soft, kind smile betrayed by a faint tracery of laugh lines around his muzzle.

If it helps, my general view of Galren now is as a bit of an introvert with a serious lust for power as his underlying motivation.


I wish I knew more about his character to help with what you'd like to convey. To say that he's an introvert but lusts for power makes me think of a person who greatly prefers solitude and is perhaps a bit condescending when it comes to others. At any rate, I think you could write this into his carriage and stature. Maybe the way he holds himself is very aloof rather than down-to-earth, or there's a particular way about his shoulders that suggests that more sinister part of him. That's the only way I can ever figure out to describe a character trait through description without something as corny as "an evil gleam in his eyes."

ETA: Erm, wow. I didn't even notice that you posted that question back in January before I bothered to reply. Oops. smile.gif
Unknown2007-03-03 16:31:01
QUOTE(Shou @ Jan 15 2007, 03:49 PM) 373587
She is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and diminuitive even among her species, her demeanor both youthful and vivacious. An earthy ambience surrounds her form, the aura of a dweller from the darkest of woods. Her frame is slender and feminine, but not to the point of fragility. A slightly mirthful expression is predominant on her heart-shaped face, her full lips slightly darker than her burnished bronze skin. Her almond-shaped eyes, the colour of cocoa (I don't think there's cocoa in Lusternia... the equivalent to that is kafe I believe), are smudged around the lids with kohl, adding a slightly sultry demeanor to her countenance. Rimmed underneath each eye are four small dashes, tattooed onto her skin. Her thick, chocolate-brown (Again, I don't think there's chocolate here in Lusty)hair is twisted and matted into ropelike locks, framing her face in places and trailing down to her mid-back in others. Wound into a few of these thick strands is a crow's feather here and there, and her slightly pointed ears barely peek out from beneath their mass. Her small, nimble hands and feet end in tiny, sharp claws. Her wings rest folded against her back when she is standing still, each comprised of a forewing and hindwing and elongated in shape. The fragile wings are transparent and tinged only the slightest of mossy green, and are laced by intricate, sienna-hued veins.

Like some others, I'm a bit iffy on describing things that aren't physically there, like presences and whatnot, but I'll leave that up to you. I mainly just pointed out some word choices and phrasings, but the desciption is well done overall.



Kafe is Coffee. Duh. Caffeine. Makes you all wake-y.
Diamondais2007-03-03 16:44:18
QUOTE(Ytraelux @ Mar 3 2007, 11:31 AM) 387831
Kafe is Coffee. Duh. Caffeine. Makes you all wake-y.

And chocolate is real too! It's a Divine treat because we're silly and havent discovered Jungles yet.

Also, I think that the Human description uses Chocolate Brown for a skin colour?
Moriana2007-03-04 05:53:08
QUOTE(arkzrael @ Jan 15 2007, 01:54 AM) 373495
My biggest IC failure....writting descriptions...I'm the world's greatest with over detailing and rambling.

Born elfen, reincarnated faeling.
Anyways, here's the current form of Arkie.

"She is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and stands confident at an average sort of height. From what can be seen, her body is toned from rigorous exercise. Her hair is in dozens of braids, coloured the deepest of red, and falls to just past her waist. Her eyes are of a crystalline emerald liquid fire, taking in the world around her with a quirky curiosity. The flesh that can be seen on her body is of a radiant grey pearl. Her hands mostly covered, you can still see the black and red veins showing on her fingers, showing you the memories of her former healer's touch. Similar veins can just barely be seen on her neck, faint, but still apparent. A thin, pinkish scar, runs from the right side of her forehead, over her right eyebrow, and down just over her right cheekbone. Her face is bright and still young, though no longer quite so childlike, and a pair of dainty, rectangular reading glasses are perched upon her nose at times. A pair of large deep red wings similar to a bat's sprout from her back, the veins and bones like black spiderwebs fading into the red membrane. They appear tattered, but functional, and she stretches them out occasionally, showing a good wingspan, before folding them to her back."


My attempt, because I couldn't resist:

She is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and stands confident at an average height, though the large, bat-like wings extending from her back make her trim, lithe body seem taller and more impressive. Slightly tattered at the edges but still functional, her wings are a vivid, rich scarlet hue, with veins and slender bones like black spiderwebs against the red membrane. Her waist-length hair is of a similar deep red colour, arranged in dozens of braids that gently frame her bright, youthful face. In contrast, her eyes shine with a crystalline emerald fire against the pale grey of her skin, as soft and radiant as a pearl. Marring the smoothness of her complexion, a thin pink scar scores the right side of her forehead, crossing over her right eyebrow down to her cheekbone, and faint black and red veins can be seen on her neck and hands. A pair of dainty, rectangular reading glasses are perched on the end of her nose, giving her a stern, scholarly air.
Unknown2007-03-14 21:47:07
He is a fiendish master viscanti and stands at 6 feet, his limbs slenderand
long. The colour of his skin is a translucent white, dark flesh can be seen
pulsing beneath. A long tail lazily wags back and forth, featherlike growth at
the end. Claws the colour of onyx adorns the end of his fingers and toes,
gleaming dully. His face is hidden by a mask, only black eyes can be seen,
sometimes flaring up with an inner fire. Horns twist from his temples, ending
just below his chin. Raven black hair is loosely braided with pearls of bone
and onyx, small strands of hair falling in front of his eyes. Ears, pointed
like the elfens, parts the hair slightly, the same featherlike growths at the
end of them.


He's hiding a burn behind the mask, so that's why he's using a mask... Bleh.
Unknown2007-03-14 23:18:04
Well this is my first run at a description for this type of thing so I hope it's not too bad, seems a little long to me so I might try to condense it... but meh, I dunno.

She is a nimble faeling and is lithely built with a modest, almost boyish figure whose slight curves barely betray her femininity. Moderately tanned, her skin is a light bronze tinged with an abnormal blue shimmer that fades to being a green tint across her shoulders and arms. Chopped short to the nape of her neck, a mane of fine, black hair with blue tips frames her rounded childlike face. Two black insect-like antennae rise from either side of her forehead and fall back to rest atop her head, almost blending into the natural flow of her hair. Dark markings that look akin to swirling smoke run down her cheeks and encircle her dark large multi-hued earthen eyes. Her full shapely lips are a natural dark pink, yet look purple along the edges due to the blue tinge in her skin. From her back sprouts large, monarch-shaped butterfly wings that look like dark purple, blue and teal stained glass wreathed in a shimmering hematite-hued black.
Drathys2007-03-14 23:51:55
I have been wanting to add some substance my description for quite a while, though I find descriptive language is not my forte.

As far as character background, if it may be of some use:
Drathys is generally very humble, quiet, and often daydreams, which was what drew him to the art of dreamweaving.
He has called the Serenwilde and the Hartstone home for his whole life, although he has spent periods of time living in Etherwilde, basically as a hermit. He is normally cheerful, although he regrets not doing more with his life so far, and can become depressed if he reflects too much on his past. He wants to contribute more to his guild and commune, though realizes that he is a follower more than a leader, and finds it hard to speak his mind.

Here's the basic description I have:
QUOTE
He is a graceful high elfen and measures a little over 6 foot when standing. His
skin is white with a faint green tint, which gives the illusion of being
luminescent in strong light. Although physically very lightly built, he is
capable of moving with agility. His light brown hair is thick and unkempt,
nearing his shoulders in places, but its true length cannot be determined. When
open, his eyes gleam with a green/blue hue, as if alive with colours of the
forest.

Many thanks if someone wants to take a crack at it.
Unknown2007-03-15 03:24:52
Hello! I'm new and was hoping I could get some help with my description. Here is my current:

He is a bullish taurian and quite a bulky specimen. Two long, sharp horns
protrude like spears from his head. He has a thin, brownish-black coat with
mottled white spots spread around randomly. He is enormous, with arms the size
of tree trunks and a chest to match. He seems to stand out in his surroundings.
He is wearing a thick cloak of forestal hues, and a set of deep green greatrobes
detailed in silver and emeralds.

I was hoping for some more depth, but nothing more than six or so lines. Stugll's horns don't protrude horizontally from his head like a normal bull, but more sort of like this - but longer and more straight. I also wanted them to be sort of cracked, or ivory in appearance. Also looking for some more help describing his bulkiness.

If you can help me I'd appreciate it! content.gif
Reiha2007-03-15 07:37:50
QUOTE
He is a bullish taurian and stands tall, his hulking frame covered in a compact coat of extremely short brown-black fur. Mottled spots of white are splattered here and there on his coat. Two long horns, white with a nacreous hue, extend like spears from his head. His wide chest bellows forward, trunk size arms equally hulky in appearance. His red eyes and mountainous build appear to be at a stark contrast with his surroundings.


The last line was blah, but here was my jab at it. And welcome to Lusty! biggrin.gif

Edited as per Aiakon's standards. And I said the last line was blah for a reason tongue.gif
Ildaudid2007-03-15 15:02:04
QUOTE(Stugll @ Mar 14 2007, 11:24 PM) 390927
stuff


Stugll is that the Jamacian bobsled team in you sig? smile.gif That is funny, I have never quite related them to Glomdoring, but I guess it works hehe.
Aiakon2007-03-15 15:23:06
QUOTE(Reiha @ Mar 15 2007, 07:37 AM) 390956
The last line was blah, but here was my jab at it. And welcome to Lusty! biggrin.gif


QUOTE
He is a bullish taurian and stands tall, his hulking frame covered in a compact coat of extremely short brown-black fur. Mottled spots of white are splattered here and there on his coat. Two long horns, white with a nearly nacreous hue, extend like rustic spears from his head. His wide chest bellows forward, trunk size arms equally hulky in appearance. His red eyes and mountainous build appear to be at a stark contrast with his surroundings.


I like what you've done with that, except for 'rustic spears', which I don't like at all.. and I'm not terrifically keen on 'nearly nacreous' - omit the nearly? I quite like the last line.. but I can see it would be a problem if Stugll went somewhere mountainous and red... like the mountains of madness? (Are they red? I imagine them as red for some reason)
Hazar2007-03-15 16:01:17
QUOTE(Kharaen d @ Sep 17 2006, 06:16 AM) 332265
I was just wondering how my own description is. Well, here it is:

She is a ferocious loboshigaru and is a healthy young animal. Coarse black fur
coats her wiry limbs thickly, the fur on her back liberally interspersed with
white guard hairs. The broad, long shape of her muzzle and the
smallness of her head give her a wolfish appearance. Closely set to the
muzzle and half hidden by stray strands of fur are a pair of are deep-set, smoke-grey eyes. Small, gritty black claws tip each of her squat digits, their edges dulled with much use. A bushy tail curves away from her spine, below which her legs are leanly muscled and end with broad paws. Her face is painted with rays of sunshine. She is wearing an inky black skullcap, a moonstone and garnet ring, a plush red blanket, delicate robes of ebony spider silk, a crow cloak, and a silver torc.


Okay, way late, but one main thing - you use too many commas. I cut several out and tweaked around it.
Hazar2007-03-15 16:10:52
QUOTE
He is a graceful high elfen and measures a little over 6 foot when standing. His
skin is white with a faint green tint, which gives the illusion of being
luminescent in strong light. Although physically very lightly built, he is
capable of moving with agility. His light brown hair is thick and unkempt,
nearing his shoulders in places, but its true length cannot be determined. When
open, his eyes gleam with a green/blue hue, as if alive with colours of the
forest.

->

He is a graceful high elfen and with a lithe, slender build and lanky proportions that bring him to the height of a young sapling. His skin is a pale, milky white touched with faint shades of leaf green, an ethereal color that gleams in the availible light. His eyes a bright, a strikingly pure hazel, the mercurial balance of green and blue forever changing. Around the sharp, proud features of his face his hair falls in unkempt strands, a thick mop of ale-colored hair that falls nearly to his shoulders. He moves with a quick, easy grace, every movement smooth and sure.

Better?
Hazar2007-03-15 16:16:12
QUOTE
She is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and stands confident at an average sort of height. From what can be seen, her body is toned from rigorous exercise. Her hair is in dozens of braids, coloured the deepest of red, and falls to just past her waist. Her eyes are of a crystalline emerald liquid fire, taking in the world around her with a quirky curiosity. The flesh that can be seen on her body is of a radiant grey pearl. Her hands mostly covered, you can still see the black and red veins showing on her fingers, showing you the memories of her former healer's touch. Similar veins can just barely be seen on her neck, faint, but still apparent. A thin, pinkish scar, runs from the right side of her forehead, over her right eyebrow, and down just over her right cheekbone. Her face is bright and still young, though no longer quite so childlike, and a pair of dainty, rectangular reading glasses are perched upon her nose at times. A pair of large deep red wings similar to a bat's sprout from her back, the veins and bones like black spiderwebs fading into the red membrane. They appear tattered, but functional, and she stretches them out occasionally, showing a good wingspan, before folding them to her back.


And once more...

She is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and of an average height, with a lithe form with the taut, lean muscles of rigorous exercise. Her flesh is a radiant shade of argent grey, threaded near her hands and neck with the faded black and red veins of a healer's touch. Her face is slight of feature and youthful in appearance, but the steady gaze of her firey emerald eyes and a thin, pinkish scar along the right side of her face betray a less then childlike life. These striking features are framed by dozens of braids coloured a deep, rich red which tumble down to hang just past her waist. Behind her, a pair of batlike wings stretch from her shoulders. Black spiderwebs of veins and bones fade into a dark red membrane, the flesh tattered from weather and battle but clearly still functional. She moves with a steady, unworried grace, clearly sure of herself and her place in the world.

EDIT: Finished!