Nice work, Hazar. Now, go proof read my description for Reiha. Chop chop

There's still the fact you need to edit his descriptions to fit the He/She is a AND .. not with

Okay, just looking at me right now, my descrition senses tingled. My Tae'dae desc is terrible, and since I'll spend most of the time as Tae'dae from now on, I need to urgently revamp it.
My current desc of Ash as Tae'dae is something like this:

He is a burly tae'dae and looks like a towering wall made of muscles and brown fur. Several patches of his body are devoid of any hair, though, signs of previous battles. His brown snout is scarred as well, a vertical scar going from between his eyes
to the tip of his snout. Under his massive jaws, the fur is slightly longer, giving the impression of a slight goatbeard. His golden eyes gazing out from under thick brows, his jaw full of razorsharp teeth, he radiates an aura of feral violence.

Which is...well, good for a guy in the 20s to 30s, but for someone of his age, experience and all, he should look a bit more regal and proud.
But I have -absolutely- no clue how to make a bear look regal and proud. As comparison, here's Ashs desc as a human. (Not perfect either, but I guess it shows the intended effect. (At least I hope so.))

looks to be about six and a half feet in height. His lean body is entirely covered in a black and red tattoo, the black color moving over the red like smoke over a crimson sky. Long, shaggy, black hair flows down his face, reaching down to his shoulders. Beneath the thick mob of hair, two golden eyes rest, set deep into a haggard face. A long black beard flows down onto Ashterus chest, two grey streaks of hair on either side of his chin.

He's more the "I'll sell your kids and your wife before you notice me mingling with your life" type than the "I'll rip you to tears and then wear your skin as new clothes!" type.


*cough*

is of average size for his race, making him rather imposing to most. He is covered with faded, sandy fur, although a lifetime of battles has left naked scars across his upper body. The pride in his eyes is apparent, accompanied by Tae's logic. His golden eyes gaze out lazily from above his muscular snout, the razors being displayed every few moments. The coarse fur gives his body a heavy appearance, though the corded bulges in his calves and arms suggest a chiseled body. His massive weight is supported by a pair of equally massive legs, each one as thick as the trunk of an oak.

Took my description for Tae'dae, changed it around...meh, enjoy.

Hey, I like that. ^^ Thanks!

Meh. I'm feeling left out.

He is a fiendish viscanti and very impatient.

Look! Done!

Nice.

"He is a ferocious loboshigaru and stands at six feet and two inches tall. Almost every inch of his body shows defined, corded muscle that reveals a wiry strength and lithe agility without making him appear intimidating. His fur is a light tawny color that looks a little course but is definitely well-groomed. His head has is definitely wolf-shaped, with his ears close to the top of his head and with a moderately long snout ending in a black, canine nose. His eyes possess a lustrous, aureate hue while his pupils are clearly slit in lupine fashion. His gaze has a penetrating feel, as if he can see through whatever it is he is looking at. His ears are almost always pricked up and moving to attune to even the slightest nearby sound. Though his fangs look very sharp, his smiles don't seem any lessened by this. His hands and feet end in sharp claws that could rake flesh with ease and precision. His tail, roughly three and a half feet long, swishes absently from time to time. His stance is casual and very relaxed, as if he is at peace with something that had been irritating him previously."

Not my best (threw this together after reincarnating), but I'm open to criticisms.

He is a burly tae'dae and you thought he might be wearing a mask, but then you realize he has a white pattern over his otherwise mostly black fur. His paws, strong and graceful hands, have white patterns on the inside of the palms. Narrow, strong green eyes regard you watchfully, with an almost calculating gaze unusual for the generally casual tae'dae.

He is a burly tae'dae shrouded in a thick, lustrous black pelt rippling with the movement of the dense musculature that lies beneath. A bright mask of ivory fur spans the width of his ursine features, sweeping down from his broad brow in an arc that encompasses narrow jade-green eyes and tapers to a gently rounded point as it conforms itself to the shape of his muzzle. His paws, which resemble nothing so much as furry, oversized hands, also bear circular patches of white that spread evenly across the breadth of each palm. Despite the looming, lumbering nature of his form, his expression is far from dim or vacant; the light of a calculating intellect glitters coolly in his measuring gaze.


How is that? I'm not typically very good with physical descriptions, so please feel free to tell me honestly what you think. It's the only way I'll improve.

Using "you" is bad. Don't push thoughts onto other people... specially because it gets silly and repetitive. Every single time you see him, you think he's wearing some mask?

Do what you will with it.

The mask part is a bit of an issue I agree with the "you" thing, and while I like your description Amarysse, it's too long for me I like to keep my descriptions as short as possible because I at least don't remember people's descriptions if they're really long.

That said, here's a rewrite taking both suggestions into account.

He is a burly tae'dae and has a "mask" of white fur over his mostly black coat. His paws, strong and graceful hands, have white patterns on the inside of the palms. Narrow, dark green eyes regard you watchfully, with an almost calculating gaze unusual for the generally simple tae'dae.

I don't mean to nitpick, but can he regard someone watchfully all the time? Multiple people? While he's fighting/asleep/paralyzed/aeoned?

So as to be constructive:

He is a burly tae'dae and sports patches of white fur around his eyes, forming a pattern reminiscent of a mask. His body is strong yet sinewy and graceful; from deep sockets behind his nose, two narrow, dark-green eyes stare out.

I still think it should be longer... and tae'dae palms aren't hairy; bears don't have fur on their palms and on the soles of their feet, so having white pathes there makes little sense.

Well, he's not exactly a bear!

Er, that was short. You should see my other descriptions... For pretty much anything.

He is a nimble shadowcaster faeling and is slightly taller than the average height of his race. His rough skin has been weathered to a dull tan, slightly hidden by caked dirt and loam that covers his body. Two large bat-like wings extend from his back, quivering slightly. A soft red glow shines from his eyes, darkening his facial features. The skin around his left eye is misshapen and has deep claw marks, causing the eye to be slightly off from the other. He radiates a sense of alertness, even in his current state.

Born loboshigaru, reincarnated as a faeling.
I was waiting for him to become a shadowcaster before I even started working on his description, which is why some have noticed he has been without one for some time now.

He is slightly insane, has a nature fear of Glomdorian females, (do to repeated torture and tearing out of his left eye) and is almost a zealot when it comes to loyalty. He tends to not show emotion, and chide others when doing so in public, and until recently showed no softening of his nature to younglings. He prefers outdoor environments to indoors, and would prefer to sleep on the ground outside than in a bed inside. He is mostly silent, not speaking unless to say a witty comment or when spoken too. He holds true to the saying of nothing matters but glomdoring, and tries to keep himself in a constant state of alertness. He has a slight case of paranoia, and sometimes hears voices within his head. He is immune to the weird, as a long life within Glomdoring has scared any doubt out of him (talking spiders, trees trying to kill you...).

I tend not to godmod my descriptions, and would rather not have a perfect specimen of a race. I like my characters to have a feel of real to them, not something born from the mind of a god. (i.e. I like to add imperfections).

If anyone would like to have a go, you have my thanks.

He's a tae'dae. Tae'dae are anatomically very similar to bears, except for the fact that they are bipedal and their bodies have a more humanoid frame. There is no reason to assume he wouldn't have paw-pads, etc.

Bipedal? HA!



You can't hold a flail with Paw-pads!