Suggestions for improvement.
A little grandiose with some of the language, I find that too much over-the-top vocab usually ruins most descriptions but its pretty sparse.

Instead of basically saying, "she is shy" I tried to express that through her body language physically to justify saying it without imposing on the third persons perception.
Still a bit iffy, but thoughts on it anyways.

Also note that when I sleep it is in a completely isolated area.

hullo! i could use some description help i am at zero ideas currently so any help would be appreciated.

He is an ordinary human and stands at average human height. His dark brown hair
is cut closely around his head save for a strip of longer hair resembling a
unkept mohawk. His face, now clean shaven is unremarkable. Piercing gray eyes
sparkle with amusement, though deep behind them you can detect a hint of regret
and sadness. He is wearing a matted suit of dark metal field plate, an etched
pearl ring, and a white leather backpack.


Ral did have a beard at one point until Feyrll demanded he shave it, then he didnt so she and Vath forced him to let her shave it. miss the beard, hence the unremarkable face. Feyrll then said Ral could have a beard but just no lazy mohawk. Alot of people have suggested longer hair, like shoulder length but i like ral with short hair.

That being said, have at it.
Thanks for the help!

1. Personality gimmicks don't always have to fit in the description.
2. Big words are nice in reasonable amounts.
3. Nice big words.

But really, my advice for this is to remove some of the big words and replace it with straightforward description of what she actually looks like. Describe her eyes more, hands and legs if you want, dsitinguishing marks... anything you think is interesting about her appearance.

If people don't understand the words... (I'm embarrassed that I missed one.) Then they won't get the description. The general layout is fine, it just needs more... plain description between the pretty big words.

Thanks. I guess I just get so bored with the generic, typical desc its impulse to give it some spice.
Also, I find that its not so much as a gimmick, but clarification. Being coy is easily confused with being stoic or harsh/cold, especially the manner in which I talk to people. It gets a little confusing, even with emotes.

I've experimented with a few descriptions on Kalugaar and I think this is the best one I've done yet. The description prior to this was modelled on Stephen King's "Grandfather Vampires" which means Kalugaar had teeth sprouting from all over his body. The general idea behind his character is that his personality/intelligence is contained within his inner worm rather than brain and his body is therefore a vestigial shell, and he speaks/laughs/etc from a wound in his chest whererein the inner worm dwells. Suggestions for improvement? (I'm not a good writer.)

I've found out that I'm rubbish at writing descriptions, so can anyone help me? Pretty please?

This is just a very matter-of-fact description. Any suggestions to make it flow better/more interesting to read are more than welcome. I know a fox-like furrikin is incredibly unoriginal, but I've had an affinity for foxes since I was little. Also anything Irish, hence the Irish name for fox. Sue me.

He is a bouncing furrikin and he resembles a nimble gray fox. The majority of
his body is a salt-and-pepper gray; his nose and sides of his muzzle are black
with black lines extending from the corners of his eyes to his neck. The sides
of his neck, back and legs, the underside of his tail and the base of his ears
are a bright reddish-orange while the belly, throat, and chest areas are whitish
in color. This coloration may cause him to be mistaken for a red fox, but he
lacks the black feet and white tail tip of that animal. A black stripe runs
along the midline of his bushy tail.

I know it's kinda lazy, but I basically threw together bits from various descriptions of gray foxes that I found online. Obviously the point was to convey his likeness to a gray fox, and to distinguish him from the more common red foxes.

Clarification is something a description doesn't/shouldn't do in regards to someone's personality. While you can get a lot out of the way a person looks, looks can always be deceiving.

You may be worried that people are going to see Prisch as cold hearted, but that's the price of being shy. Express it through words and emotes. Get exasperated with yourself when someone doesn't like you, "I'm not being rude, I'm just awkward in social situations!" You know. The like. There's a price you have to pay for quirks in your character, but flawed characters are far more interesting than perfect ones who stand around smiling all the time. They are also a lot harder to pull off.

To make your desc interesting, lose some of those big words. I've read quite a few books in my time and my vocabulary isn't lacking, but if I find myself running to a dictionary every 3 words for a short description - it gets annoying and I am more focused on the fact that I don't know what these words mean than what your character actually looks like. Straightforward descriptions are always the way to go, I've found. Fancy words can be left for speaking and emoting with. Use a max of 8 sentences and just jam in there what needs to be said - height, eye color, hair color, body type, hair style, any flaws (acne marks, scars, crooked teeth), and any 'extras' your character might need (ie Aison uses ribbons to tie back her hair. Since I can't buy ribbons or wear hairpins AND wear my hood up, I just wrote it into her desc).

I always hate looking at people and being hit with a wall of spam - more often than not, the people who spend decades writing these long, elaborate descriptions, do so badly and go too over the top with describing every little detail. The details become too much and I lose any picture I had of them. Also, the grammar is usually awful, words and phrases endlessly repeated, and of course, they are incredibly beautiful (how so very dull!).

I like it when what they are wearing is spammier than their actual description. That always tickles me pink. Not to say a short description is always good - sometimes they can be too vague and unclear. But I would go with too short rather than too long in regards to IRE games.

Hope that helps.




Well, I don't do the 'fur types' very often, but it seemed like a challenge so I went for it.

He is a bouncing furrikin and is mostly covered in ivory and ebon speckled fur, causing an attractive gray colour to stick out. A slender, black-clad muzzle complements his small head, sable accenting his eyes and ending at his neck, a line of the same color running along the midline of his bushy tail. Bright red-orange sets off the plain colors, covering the underside of his tail, his back and legs, as well as his neck and ears, the rest of him coated in white for a sly, mischievous disposition.

No eye color is mentioned and I assume he isn't humanoid at all... perhaps something else to add for yourself if you like this desc or get inspired by it.

The best description that I have ever read (Linaeve's) is easily longer than a long paragraph, and it's worth every single word and sentence.

Linaeve helped me write mine. Or... Took a version I had and just... Went makeover on it.

She is a graceful high elfen and silky black hair falls in lush tendrils to
frame the soft features of her heart-shaped face, most notable for its
high-swept, sun-touched cheekbones and a demure nose. Reminiscent of the forest,
viridescent dark green eyes are flecked with lighter motes of ethereal emerald,
veiled in a generous fan of thick lashes. The fairest of ivory skin is
complemented by darker tones in her features: gentle, expressive brows and
oft-bitten lips a darker rose against the delicate flesh of her face.
Gently-pointed ears peek through her hair, catching an abundance of her tresses
in a natural sweep at the nape of her neck. Her supple figure is a bit shy of
voluptuous but not lacking in curves, with long, slender limbs; while her
graceful hands extend into long, pale fingers, and clean white-tipped nails. The
faintest hint of a delicate lilac fragrance surrounds her wherever she lingers.

Best description I've read in Lusty has been Talkan's. Reason being, he doesn't describe himself as this really tubular, hot dude and he doesn't choke it with elaborate words and fancy metaphors and all that. Also, no muscles are even mentioned. It's an average guy with crooked teeth and callused hands behind a head of mopey brown hair.

But maybe someone will be nice enough to post Linaeve's desc?

Lin:

She is a fiendish undead irontongue viscanti and is a being possessed of a reserved demeanour and an elegant mystique, her noble poise impressed with an aloof bearing. Her fine bone structure and delicate stature claim a pedigree of refinement, each limb unfolding in a graceful flourish, from the refined carriage of her spine to the hips that have clearly borne not a few children. Delicate hands extending in willowy fingers are the picture of cultivation, exquisitely preserved like porcelain. From her flawless skin to her curiously-coloured eyes, she is peculiarly fair in appearance; almost otherworldly. An ivory complexion as fine as spider silk is cradled within a heart-shaped face and a nobly angular jaw, a small dimple set into a chin oft lifted haughtily. Her upper lip is a bit plumper than her lower, giving her dusky mouth a sort of unusual sensuality. Deep auburn ringlets in rich, silken cascades, frame her countenance in a magnificent fiery nimbus. Much of her hair is woven intricately away from her face in a dramatic upsweep, yet delicate tendrils escape the pins and wisp untamed about the curve of her throat. The rest twine a long way down her back in a myriad of abundant curls, their hues evocative of the finest amber-tinged bourbon, interwoven with pins of black pearl. The slender, elegant crest that is her collarbone leads into a long, swan-like neck. Her eyes are shadowed with black gossamer lashes, and claim a pale and haunting grey colour. Motes of smoky violet hues shift in an ephemeral dance within her irises, a most uncanny addition to her exotic characteristics. The sweet, ambrosial scents of dark wine and ink trail her presence.



It's beautiful.

I'm like Keylsa.. Lin took my terrible, old description and added a little flavor to it..

From Isune's description:

Seemingly unconnected to Her, ephemeral and almost liquid wings which shimmer over with rainbows of colour like oil on water slowly sweep to and fro. Faint sparks of light drift within and about those wings in sporadic, yet intricate patterns, silently dancing around Her.

These wings described - I would like to hear opinions and justifications on whether or not they are "fae-like", ephemeral wings like that of a rainbow-winged scorpionfly or featherly but liquid wings of rainbow? I'm almost done with Her portrait but the wings are difficult.

Thanks in advance!

Wait... What?

He is an ordinary human and covered in filth. His figure is gaunt from
malnourishment; his ribcage clearly visible under a thin layer of pallid skin.
His flesh is pasty and pockmarked where it is visible under the thick grime
which covers his body. The hair upon his head is black and shines from grease,
and it crowns a narrow face which borders on skeletal. Two slightly sunken eyes
peer out from under his matted fringe. His shoulders and back are covered in
flea bites; the creatures are occasionally drop from his body. He is wearing...


That's Madach. I'm not sure about it, to be honest. I feel it lacks a good rhythm.

I've imagined them as being similar to the fluid-like wings of Tyrael from Diablo II/III. Here's a link:

Tyrael

But with a bit more substance, and more colourful and pretty of course

Edit: Some more!