She is an ordinary human and is fairly short, though her posture is rigid,
granting her a severe demeanor. Her crimson hair is pulled back into an
intricate chignon, fastidiously well-kept at the nape of her neck. With bright
green eyes, seemingly out-of-place against the pale, freckled skin surrounding
them, and a nose somewhat larger than might appear attractive, she truly
manifests as a testament to moderation. Her eyebrows, and eyelashes, are pale
enough as to be difficult to perceive, and do little to enhance the stern cast
of her features. She is wearing Spectacles of Clairvoyance, a gorgeous diamond
ring, a celestial wedding band of white gold, 8 rings of white gold, a celestial
bracelet of white gold, a bejeweled white gold tiara of the stars, sacerdotal
robes of a viridescent hue, an hieratic, stiff-collared shoulder cape, a white
leather coat, an ivory pendant bearing a symbol, diamond prayer beads, a yellow
lily, a cluster of snapdragons, a pink carnation, a fesix backpack, and Gloves
of Mastery. She walks with the truefavour of Eventru.

Is viravain back from her break yet?

is a statuesque beauty of unconscious grace. Tall and slender, pale quicksilver hair cascades down her back, parting at her brow to unveil a flash of sparkling river-clear eyes set in breathtakingly sculpted features. High cheekbones and an angular delicate face are warmed by full lips brushed in a purple hue, quick to laugh and briefly display pearl white teeth. Her eyes sparkle with cheerful insight, and storms of blue dusk or inviting rays of daybreak indigo colour her pupils upon her mood. Her arms are long and willowy, pale flesh kissed with iridescent sapphire stains, glittering in arcane arabesques that curve and whorl, as if with meaning. Minute sapphires sparkle like hidden stars, woven in her silvery hair with a glistening strand of pearl, which she brushes unconsciously with manicured fingertips.

Hm.

Newbie here. I'm a bit bad at writing and can't help but get the feeling that this is a bit (more than a bit) awkward in some places. Anyone willing to offer some advice/help? It's for a sixteen year old female faeling, by the way.

of about average size for her race. The girl has a slender frame and barely enough shape to her figure to make her gender obvious, not to say that her rounded, childlike facial features don't do well enough in that regard. Her skin is lightly sun-tanned and her rosy cheeks speak of at least reasonably good health. Cut just below her chin, her fallow hair has more than a few strands that curl or stick up in odd directions. A pair of delicate wings sprout from her shoulder blades, patterned mostly with shards of yellow veined with varying shades of brown. Swirls of red also decorate her wings, the hue varying from the same rusty color of her eyes to one that brings to mind fresh blood.

Hrm. I have a question about trills. I'm somehow quite sure this was asked before, I couldn't find an answer, though I think I already know the answer.

I know that their general description says "no trill grows hair on their head," but I just wanted to be sure. Can they, in any, any way have hair instead of feathers? For example, if that trill's parents are a human and a trill. Or something like that. That's the only thing that has been bothering me about that race. Feathery head sounds too... Wrong.

Just make the feathers fall about their head in a somewhat hairlike fashion. It's not a big deal really. I like that aspect of them because it differentiates them from essentially being angels in appearance.

There's a lot of leeway, I mean, look at this:



And since Lusty gives us so much room to move with our own descriptions, It's not going to be some big crisis if you just decide to have hair and say it's from human "genes". I mean, geeze, half our illithoids look like idealized humans with blue/purple skin and black eyes as it is, so it's not as if you can be criticized too harshly for it.

Okay, thanks, that's basically all I needed to hear! I know about the description freedom, I just wouldn't like to break the "rules" of this race's basic appearance.

Plus, I mean, although feathers can look great, I still prefer hair, I get more styling options. I'll think about it some more, though.

I've never been good at personal descriptions, but earlier today I got a stroke of inspiration and came up with this. I think it's quite good.

He is a graceful wild elfen and is gifted with exceptionally healthy-looking gray skin which adorns the entirety of his slightly muscular build. His cinereous eyes shine dully, like dainty gems inserted into his pale head. A wave of russet, supple hair embraces his head and sways around his ears, joined by vermilion lips, framing his face and making it look somehow more complete. The strong nose and pronounced jaw pleasantly contrast the rest of his gentle face, remnants of one of his brawnier ancestors. Broad-shouldered, his frame gives away peak athletic physique no matter how clothed or covered. A thin, strangely key-shaped scar mars his left cheek, though somehow fitting the overall picture.

Opinions and revisions are welcome.

You'd be surprised how many people just up and forget about their races . Like Merians aren't supposed to have hair, but most merian players do any way.

Another good example are dracnari, who're all supposed to be green-scaled. Most aren't that I've met.

This is for my alt. Shurimaru isn't a faeling.

He is a nimble faeling and is, at a stretch, a foot tall, marking him as small
even for one of his race. Coupled with his near-constant movement, his actual
form is rather difficult to discern; he is always fluttering and flitting about,
constantly airborne, never still. As one might expect, his build is not muscular
and powerful but light and nimble and quick. His hair is formed of straight
black locks, which softly fall past his ears in the back, and end just above his
eyebrows in the front. His wings are large, compared to the rest of his body.
Like those of a feathered trill, they're soft and downy and white, but also thin
and quick like an insect's. Behind him they spread, taller and wider than their
owner. He is wearing a canvas backpack, a pair of leather bracers, a leather
skullcap, a pair of leather leggings, a vest with golden accents, and a supple
leather scabbard.

I tried to keep the sentence structures quick, throwing in adjectives one after the other to give an impression of constant, quick movement. Success?

She is a nimble shadowsinger faeling and just misses a foot and a half when standing at her full heighth. Lichen-green, ebon-tipped hair erupts from her head in a six-inch mohawk, though bangs shade her forehead and fringe her heart-shaped child-like face with chin-length tendrils, which grow in front of her pointed elfen ears. She has sprite-like features: an up-turned nose; wide, gently glowing, vivid red-orange eyes with green eyelashes; and a cherry-colored, precocious mouth. Upon close inspection, black freckles are apparent, scattered across her faintly pink-tinted, dimpled cheeks. Dark shadows cling to her delicate form and dance across her pearlescent twighlit skin. Black butterfly wings, batlike and with a thin layer of rainbow-hued wingdust, emerge from her shoulderblades, extend above her head, reach down to her feet and span close to three and a half feet when open. All of her clothing and accessories have been tailored to accomodate her tiny stature and wings.

I am quite fond of this description, and have revised it several times already. My concern is that my sentences are long, with much punctuation, and I feel that it doesn't necessarily flow. Also, I can't think of any way to describe body shape without sounding vulgar. (at least to myself, anyways)

Also, I'm trying to think of something new to do with her hair. She adores tree sap as hair gel.

Any suggestions? I love contstructive critisism.

Nothing wrong with merian having hair. All that means is that they aren't pure merian, but can still breathe underwater. This applies for all other races with distinct attributes.

Odd question, I know the general rule is @size / 2=height in feet, But I always kinda wondered if that meant that size 1 = 0-6", 2=6-12" etc. or if it was more of a size 1= 4-8", size 2 = 10-14", etc...

I know that my size 5 faeling becomes size 2 with Diminish, and was just wondering how it's generally looked at.

Hey, this is a pretty cool thread. Glad I noticed it.

That said, here's my description as it is right now (minus the items I'm wearing):



This description hasn't been worked on in a while (I think I made it a week or so after I first made my character, which was I think 3-4 months ago), but if you have any ideas for improvements that still preserve the basics here, I'd greatly appreciate it!

Here's a description that i would love to hear some constructive criticism on:

He is a regal aslaran and bright gold eyes with green flecks gaze back at you from a feline face with presence and compassion. The tips of Feihu's ears reach just shy of 6 feet high and are only just visible sticking out of a tousled golden brown mane. Stripes of varying size and darkness pattern his entire body, from his nose to the tip of his expressive tail, and serve to scatter his outline in the shadows and forrests. All of Feihu's movements are executed with purpose and grace belying the daily training and discipline of a Shofangi monk who keeps his body, mind, and spirit tenacious and limber.

Let me see... you may want to remove the "hint of sorrow" in the eyes, or move it further behind. It's not something most people would see with just a casual glance at you. You may also want to describe your arms, chest and legs, or at least your general body-shape. Are you fat, fit, well-muscled or frail. Those sort of things. And please allow it to make sense. There are so many "well-muscled" Celestines out there, when Celestines don't do any real hard work. Our fighting is mostly based upon charismatic leadership and shooting magic beams and cards.


Let's see... change the beginning. The first thing people notice about you would be your approximate height. So begin with "the tips of his ears reach just shy of 6 feet, where they stick out barely visible from a mane", something akin to that. Modify that to your taste. Afterwards go to the eyes, they're nice but you won't be gazing back at me at all times. What if I'm a sneaky ninja who is stalking you from a hidden location. You won't be looking back at me then. The line "Stripes of varying..." works pretty well, until the last part. "And serve to scatter his outline in the shadows and forests". Drop that. Not everyone's a biology expert. The last line should just be cut out, because no one will know just from looking at you that you're a Shofangi Monk with daily training. Remember, only describe what people can see when they look at you. Be as descriptive without forcing actions, thoughts, idea and such on the onlooker.

Thanks for the comments Kiradawea. Here's what I think of them



A good point thank you.



Since not everyone is a biology expert, maybe I can help to enlighten some of them as to the purpose of stripes? I'm not sure I see how that part detracts from the description even if you're not aware of the biological function of stripes.



Another good point. Although if I'm wielding shofa, wouldn't it be fairly obvious I'm from shofangi? Still, i agree with the part about not forcing thoughts and ideas on the onlooker.

After all of that, here's my revised description:

He is a regal aslaran and the tips of his ears reach just shy of 6 feet high and are only just visible sticking out of a tousled golden brown mane. Stripes of varying size and darkness pattern Feihu's entire body, from his nose to the tip of his expressive tail, and serve to scatter his outline in the shadows and forrests. Bright gold eyes with green flecks take in his surroundings from a feline face that radiates presence and compassion. All of Feihu's movements are executed with purpose and grace belying a body-mind that is kept tenacious and limber.

Any more constructive critics are welcome to comment.

You could, if you told them. However remember that this is what people see when they LOOK at you. Said enlightenment should be done through speaking to the individuals in question. Hence why it should be removed. At least remove the r in forest. It's one r, not two.

Next point, it wouldn't. Because first, you won't always be wielding your shofas. Secondly, even if you did, you can wield a shofa without being a shofangi. Thirdly, if I'm some kid from the area who has never seen a Shofangi before I ain't gonna think "he's a Shofangi". I'm gonna think "he's wielding some wickedly sharp blades".

Last, you may want to get rid of the name within your description. "His" flows much better than "Feihu's". And again, I ain't gonna know your name merely from looking at you.

oo~
do me do me!

She is a glistening undead mugwump and is rather short. Mottled grey and black skin graces her pudgy form, her youthful shape losing out to her prominent belly for being the most noticeable curve on her body. A thin coating of slime protects her tender skin, causing any and all clothing she wears to become damp. Her fingers and toes are webbed, the thin skin a translucent greyish pink. Thin, greyish white hair falls past her shoulders in carefully styled curls, the ends tickling her shoulderblades. Two large, garish pink bows are tied into her locks, small bells stiched in the center of each, the excess ribbon trailing almost as long as her hair. Her features are flat, but her large murky emerald eyes seem to pop out, lending her an amphibian appearance.