I'd hit it....














with a Restraining Order.

Eh, may's well join in.

Drac:

has scales the same shade of emerald green as burning copper. She stands at just under seven feet of lithe muscle, with very little in the way of frills or ornamentation. In spite of a lack of breasts, she is quite clearly female by the curve of her shoulders and face. Her tail is long and thick, curling around her ankles when she stays idle, and twitches from time to time. Her fiery orange eyes stare out from above a muzzle filled with sharp, soot-stained teeth.

The only part of this I don't love is the statement: "with very little in the way of frills or ornamentation." It's almost too much telling and not enough showing the viewer what your character is like.

He is a crystalline lucidian and stands roughly seven feet tall with surprisingly supple alabaster flesh, which is stretched taut over the intricate, lambent latticework of his veins. Graced with long, muscular limbs and broad shoulders, he could almost pass as a halfbreed human, save for the singularly inhuman precision of his movements: like a statue given rudimentary life, his every motion is invested with a relentless, impersonal brutality. Burnished silver eyes gaze with impassionate disinterest from the sculpted contours of his face, set above a curved, aquiline nose and lips so thin they scarcely exist; a brooding visage rendered all the colder by its absolute symmetry.

Help me out, brohemians.

Probably isn't the quite correct place, but Kaii is looking for some help with her pet description. If you're willing to help her, please send her a message IG!

What did you do, use every long word you know?

Lucidians don't have flesh yo. 'less you're one of those creepy half breeds in which case ROLL A HUMAN. Ehahahahahaha.

In all honesty their skin or whatever you want to call it has to be at least a little bit flexible, else they wouldn't be able to move their limbs without breaking them. Speaking of which: observe the lucidian racial portrait. With those spikes on her knee the way they are, it would be impossible for her to straighten out her leg!

These are the things that no one but me thinks about.

I thought you'd realized that nothing good can come of observing the official race art.

I have not even begun to exudate prolixity, solecistic harridan!

I figured a more verbose description suited a Lucidian, anyway. When I played an Orclach, the description was very Hemingway, all "He is big. He is strong."

EDIT: That's not to say I like Hemingway. To hell with that drunken bum.

So, I'd rather not have someone write a new description for me, but I'm wondering what are considered marks of a "good" or well-written description.

Things I always keep in mind:

age
eyes - colour, movement perhaps
lips/beak
nose/snout
hair colour, style and length
skin tone, fur tone, scales, if it alternates
scars
tattoos
tail
ears
overall appearance -
shoulders, arms, legs -
traits from parents -
teeth
height, weight
breasts - do not have to be included, but if they are, please for the sake of decent RP don't make them jello or something rediculous.
whiskers, other little racial traits

Did this on the fly, some of the examples are horrid.

From there, it's just putting it together in a good order.

Thanks!

For a Drac description? Usually I go from head to tail, paying attention to the race's size and modifying it from there based on age. Scale colors vary, as long as it isnt too extreme like "OMGZ SCALY RAINBOW". Since your character is older maybe give him a slight hunch or something. Also I believe the height average for a Drac based on the size chart somewhere on the forum equates to about eight feet.

I typically just give a general sense of size, I always find it a little off-putting to list some sort of numerical height in a description. Also, the plan is to make Hallen look old and withered, so a hunch is a good idea!

X is a male dracnari and gorgeous scales of insane rainbow colours coat his entire body in a dizzy pattern.

Sakr's Description
He is a nimble shadowsinger faeling and is taller than average. Holding wings of black feathers, the giant wingspan holds enough strength for prolonged flight. Mystic tattoos grace his body in a blue hinge, casting a contrast against his darkened skin. His hands large, his nails uncut, he keeps a sharp intelligence that's seen in his eyes.

Mind this was the description since the beginning, and it was for a trill, just never adjusted it fully for faeling.

So I was thinking of the following, tying in my guild skills with my description, as well as trade:

He is a nimble shadowsinger faeling and is very pale skinned. Albino wings drape about his body in an almost sickly glare. It is emboldened only by a large wingspan that dwarfs his body. Scars drape his body with thinned lines, his hair tied back into a pony tail with an old vine. Small hands, made awkward due to the broken nails from crafting trades, a tattoo of a viola weaves around his palms up towards his arms. Body unfit to lifting heavy weights, it is instead toned down after years of twisting to evade attacks. A flicker of a smile keeps gracing his lips in an almost eternal mirage, as if fueled by the illusionist spark. His eyes remain unchanging, looking about calculating and cool - flickers of amber in his eyes. Furrowed eyebrows shadow his face, his ears upright through broken. His small feet keep his posture upright, with a tattoo of the Ama'nar'isil crest covering a scar on his forearm.

This is a different perspective, but I would say limit yourself to maybe 6-7 of what Kayte listed. If you have a very real, full image of what your character looks like in your head, then okay... but don't just fill it all in for the sake of doing so if you think you might change some things later, or you're not really set on it. Descriptions that are so long that they fill your entire screen just feel narcissistic (which is fine if that's what you're going for), and I think it's great to leave some things to the imaginations of others. That's half of the fun of MUDs, after all!

Yeah, essentially mine was a list of all the possibilities - I don't use all of it on any given description.

Sorry for double post, but here is a great resource:

http://www.wordpool.co.uk/wfc/info/characterdescription.htm