http://bdmonkeys.net/~chaz/battle.php?

My warcry :
Stalking through the terrain, attacking with a burning branch, cometh Clise! And she gives a vengeful scream:

"You in some now, muhfuh! I come like a storm and lay waste like a hurricane!!!"

Hark! Who is that, striding through the mountains! It is Veonira, hands clutching a thorned whip! She cries gutterally:

"I'm going to punch you into a fine spicy powder, then make toast!!!"


D:, mine sucks.

Yea, verily: Who is that, running through the hotel lobby! It is Sion, hands clutching a burning branch! He roars thunderously:

"I'm going to pulverize you with such zeal, your screams will reanimate the dead!"

Skulking on the plains, brandishing a thorned whip, cometh Requiem! And he gives an ominous grunt:

"In the name of malice, I sow darkness and discord faster than the super-flu!!"

Who is that, sprinting through the desert! It is Shinza, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! And with an ominous roar, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to smash you so hard, you'll reincarnate as an X-file!!"

Bladed baseball bat:
Rest of it:

Sprinting across the hotel lobby, clutching a mighty sword, cometh Ashteru! And he gives a vengeful grunt:

"I'm going to beat you so heinously, I will be high on life for years to come!"


Ashteru's out to KILL BILL

Lo! Who is that, sprinting out of the candy store! It is Ixion, hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! And with a booming scream, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to unleash oven cleaner in your pants!!"


Full name gets better results..

Striding through the tarmac, carrying gilded boxing gloves, cometh Kalas Ixion! And he gives a vengeful roar:

"Blood and souls for my dark lord! I sow darkness and discord with reckless abandon!!!"

I like the one for my real name...

Skulking on the tundra, swinging a mighty sword, cometh Steph! And she gives a low grunt:
"I'm going to torment you like a rabid gangsta bitch, and add a notch to my bedpost!"

Rampaging through the plains, carrying a bladed baseball bat, cometh ! And he gives a booming howl:

"I'm going to hump you until Western Civilization implodes!!"

Brilliant.

It reminded me of China..

Ok this is interesting..

Lo! Who is that, stalking on the icy wasteland! It is Daevos, hands clutching a thorned whip! He bellows gutterally:

"I'm going to you until you have puppies!!!"

Rampaging on the steppes, attacking with an oversized scalpel, cometh Elryn! And he gives a spectacular bellow:

"I'm going to spank you until you are hot and bothered, and throw you out the window!!"

Lo! Who is that, sprinting on the icy wasteland! It is Isune, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! And with a cruel grunt, her voice cometh:
"As sure as predators devour prey, I shall paint the town a sanguine shade of doom!!"


Yea, verily: Who is that, skulking on the icy wasteland! It is Terentia, hands clutching a reflective halberd! She cries thunderously:
"Vengeance and goo flow from my veins! I hereby snap and go berzerk!!!"


Zang! Who is that, skulking amidst the tarmac! It is Fain, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! He grunts ominously:
"I'm going to bruise you with such wanton cruelty, your momma won't recognize you!!!"


Sprinting out of the steppes, attacking with a vorpal blade, cometh Hajamin! And he gives a spectacular bellow:
"I'm going to torment you until you bleed puke, and roll you in creamy neugut!"


Isune's comment fits, though. Atleast, the painting bit.

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS

Zang! Who is that, rampaging on the desert! It is Murphy, hands clutching a thorned whip! He grunts ominously:

"In the name of Thor the Mighty, skulls will be -f-worded- for Satan!"

Lo! Who is that, prowling through the icy wasteland! It is Shorlen Mes'ard, hands clutching a thorned whip! He roars homicidally:

"I'm going to forcibly reverse your gender!!!"

My full RL name:

Zang! Who is that, stalking over the desert! It is , hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! He bellows thunderously:

"I'm going to brutalize you beyond mortal comprehension, and grin like a ing maniac!!!"

Sprinting amidst the mountains, wielding a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Elmund! And he gives a mighty bellow:

"I'm going to smash you like a first grade teacher!"

Hark! Who is that, prowling along the cliffs! It is , hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! And with a bloodthirsty howl, his voice cometh:

"I'm seriously going to beat you into the danger zone!"

The one for my real name is just disturbing to me.

Name:
Rampaging through the tundra, swinging a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Aiwendil! And she gives a mighty roar:

"I'm going to you with such disregard for common sense, your screams will reanimate the dead!!"

Full name:
Sprinting out of the mini-mall parking lot, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using two hardened pitas, cometh Aiwendil D'Illici! And she gives a mighty bellow:

"Hail the blood-letting! I tear into the enemy until there is no more hope!!"

Real name:
Stalking on the freeway, clutching a piece of chainlink fence, cometh ! And she gives an ominous bellow:

"I'm going to torment you like it's my job, and dip you in uranium!!!"

A glimps for your future husband...