Alright so I'm just fiddling around with poetry, thought I could use some constructive criticism, I'll be posting them as I come up with more, but I'm interested in your comments on these first few.

Dark Faces

Before my face,
Masks upon masks,
Who is real?
I dare not ask.
-Zordininue

Dear Baalphegar

Baalphegar,

You surely know of me.
I dream of: nights, days, knowing, and darkness,
Your knowledge knows no boundary,
I am your servant.
Be my master.

A B C Death

Assassins attack, afterlife approaching,
BOOM
Careless cadaver, cantankerous, crouching
Doom.

The Red Room.

Red drapes drip down,
The windows show no light,
The mirror reflects deathly doom,
An imp to the left, and to the right.
The red glow, as dark as shadowy gloom,
Welcome to nil, where the fires burn bright.

X / X / X / X /
We always eat gravel for lunch,
X / X / X / X /
O’ I | say I | have quite | some hunch,
X / X / X / X /
For why it’s so much gravel for lunch,
X / X / X / X /
O’ because it’s far too late f’brunch!

Trapped

O’ Baalphegar,
I worship thee so,
You bestow upon me,
Gifts I shouldn’t know,
You teach me things,
Your knowledge you show,
I worship thee,
Now please let me go.

Heres another, maybe with some tweaking I might submit it to the Bardics..
Viravain!

Oh Viravain,
I miss you so!
The newest of pain,
I see you go,
You shame yourself,
To stoop so low,
I ask myself,
The vain I know?
I miss your wit,
You forsake me so,
You act like a git,
Come back please now!

Another version:
Oh Viravain,
I miss you so!
The newest of pain,
To see you go,
You shame yourself,
To stoop so low,
I ask myself,
The Vain I know?
I miss your wit,
You forsake me so,
I miss your whip,
The satisfying blow,
My back is unstained,
Let my blood flow,
Without my Vain,
There’s nothing I know.

someone should really tell me if it's good bad or miserable.. fishing for responses here!

Okay, bump again.... Someone respond..
Here are two more:
Shayle

Your smile looks so simple and sweet,
Your curse feels so brutal and bleak,
Your word cuts through towers and keeps,
Your face hides a darkness so deep,
Shayle, my Queen, in darkness you sleep.

Xenthos

You’re my mentor and home, I stand by you
You’ve shown me the way to which I’ll stay true
I owe you my life, that debt I’ll pay soon,
You are the greatest alive, I owe it to you,
I’m just giving credit where credit is due.