If you're in a harem... well... it's just not socially acceptable by the norms of society, and you really shouldn't be shocked that it changes people's IC perception of you.

That said, there's no reason for OOC harassment or reputations following the members over multiple characters. If this is happening, you SHOULD issue for sure.

I'd just like to reiterate: I know you're doing the whole Raja thing (or so it seems, at least), but seriously, harem is like a bad word. The connotations are terrible.

Secondly, I'm not sure what circles you hang out in, but I couldn't tell you who's in the harem, let alone their alts. Make a Talnaran alt, and see how much you're either not harassed, or how fast I start probating people I catch doing it. You can't tell me there are enough people that both know about all of you and care enough to bother that you can't make an alt anywhere. And you're good enough at RP that you should be able to manage pretty much anywhere. I'd think going with your second or third pick of places would be better than suffering harrassment.

As for ignoring people, it worked for me. Sure, they screwed with me still, but I really couldn't have cared less. Then they started kicking me in the back during an assembly, I turned around and broke the guy's nose, and they stopped.

Most women will have zero respect for a woman who willingly participates in a harem. If it was coerced, or the person was tricked into it, maybe pity...But women in generally don't believe in pity and often turn their backs on/plot against other women. It's like a game for them.

Or at least, that's how it is for me. Any woman willing to kill off their pride to be part of something like that...meh. And that's got nothing to do with religion, I'm an aetheist.

I also despise men who are cocky enough to want to do something like that, especially if their RL partner has expressed that they were uncomfterable with it.

In game though, Kharaen doesn't really give a damn about anyone but herself. People want to do the nasty with a bunch of people, or share one man with a hundred women...well, that's their problem. She couldn't care. She doesn't have much of an opinion on gay/lesbian relationships either; her parents are lesbians.

You CERTAINLY can't expect people to respect your roleplay though, with the lame excuse of 'well, it's my roleplay, leave me alone!'. I mean, to some people, being lord over a harem is worse then being thief or murderer. You chose your RP, so expect the reprecaussions to RPing something so absurd.

Except that the Dracnari in the Nomad camp have a tent full of prostitutes.. yet that's ok.. but a harem isn't?

wtf?

Out of game, I hate those girls. In game, Kharaen doesn't really care.

I'm not saying I'm agreeing with OOC harassment, but I am saying that IC harassment's pretty legit since people in general have no respect for people who indulge in that behaviour. If you chose to RP a thief, you certainly aren't going to expect to have a lot of respect, unless its from other thieves, and that's only if you're good. Not a lot of people are going to respect harem girls, in fact they'll plain dislike or hate them just for being what they are, regardless of their personalities.

It also depends on a lot of people having the maturity to be able to seperate the game, and OOC. A lot of people can't do that, their feelings will leak into the game wether they will it or not. This will have them make alts to specifically pester the harem girls and Exarius.

Basically, you chose your RP, and you chose to face the conditions of playing that RP. Complaining doesn't really do you any good, especially if you're aware of the general bad rep that RP will get.

If people are too stupid to realize that, they really shouldn't be joining something that's considered a social bane.

Ignoring Kharaen's absurd small-mindedness (Seriously, comparing polygamists to thieeves?)

People have all the right to bitch at you for what you do in-game, and to bitch to other people. Sorry. If you join an unpopular club (Irregardless of said club's moral merits), then you should be prepared to face people having a low opinion of you.

This is precisely the sort of thing that should be issued.
And hopefully lead to the banning of the offender.

The idea that anyone would contemplate creation of another character for the sole purpose of upsetting the player behind a character is repulsive.


If someone is feeling that their ablility to play their character is being impeded unfairly then they need to be encourage to record and list those instances. If the harassment is subtle keep track of every slight and unfair decision against you where ever you suspect their might be ooc motivation.

I have a very low tolerance of this sort of behaviour. Do NOT put up with it.
There are systems within the game to deal with stalking/harassment. Use them.

I disagree with this what are the norms of this society? It is okay to ruthlessly murder children and torture people over and over and over and over if they are of an enemy organization. It is okay to gloat about it. It is okay to kill babies in quests, but let a man or a woman do a little sleeping around and suddenly they are EVIL?

Messages over market channels advertising the wanting the heads of of cowardly fishies and so on and other sociopathic and or psychotic beahvior is okay but being in a harem OH NOES!




Weird society we live in.

Weird, but he's right. In general, for America at least, we're shown plenty of violence and very little sex, and it carries over to games where we have tons of violence and no sex. It makes for a very odd culture.

Talking about lusternia, not america. The violence is much much much worse here in real life as well as the coldness and value of life of death. We have an entire commune founded on rape. we have a village with enslaved furrikins. Fain has a shrine that depicts scenes of incest. I think people are using their real world views to judge things based on sexuality because in a place like Lusternia it would really not be a big deal.

Except that, to me at least, it has very little to do with the "sex" and much more to do with the "attitude" and "portrayal".

I mean, most of us *would not even know this exists* if it and related topics weren't brought up somewhat frequently on the forums, often by Exarius himself... see this thread.

I would, as I have a friend whose Aslaran was pursued by him, but most others..? Nope.

If he wants to make it an OOC thing, I'm allowed to have an OOC opinion on it. Xen doesn't really know or care, he's not involved with Exarius in any way ICly, nor does he know any of the girls in the harem. It's not a big deal to him.

To me, on the other hand... as I said earlier, it seems like he has created and is thriving in a controversial role, enjoying making it as controversial as possible... and others are getting caught up in it, which is unfortunate. It's also unfortunate that the controversy is pretty much entirely OOC. It's based on the forums, its based on Exarius' player and what he says here, instead of being an IC reaction.

And yet... that seems to be exactly what he has been looking for. As I said earlier, I don't entirely understand why.

edit nevermind. Aye I agree with you the OOC stuff. Was just talking about IC

I apologize beforehand for being blunt... but please do not compare a harem to a full scale RP. Having a harem is perhaps -one- aspect involved with a character- you forcefully made it the center of your character's existence and I deduct it simply because though I have little to do with Exarius, not a month goes by without hearing from you or someone else involved in some manner and it always has to do with it.

You wish to compare the bible? okay, I do not see how any of the mentioned individuals were glorified -because- they had more then one wife.

I honestly have nothing against you... and I do think that issuing should be done when it is called for. But to defend this concept using the same arguments as someone defending his right to play an individual... I don't accept this.

Some people die due to political affliation in the game- I would expect some scrutiny if I made something which was generaly unacceptable. THAT's rp for you.

There are ways to show disdain, but do not be surprised that these exist.

New flash: breaking someone's nose is NOT ignoring them.

That's what it is for me too. I couldn't care if people fooled around with more then one partner. It's probably the use of 'harem.' If there was more then one guy involved, it'd just be another club. But it's not. And from what I get from Exarius' IC play from aslaran women that have been involved with him, is that he thinks that ALL aslaran women are his. I just don't like thinking of women as property, and have very little respect for women who allow themselves to be portrayed as such.

Okies, Oxford dictionary definition of "Harem"


Meaning, if anybody immediately thinks that it means there is one satyr lording it over a load of women then they're just leaning on stereotypes and vague precedents. So they're just misinformed and prejudiced, giving you a right to wave a finger at them! The actual definition has nothing to do with the male being superior or the women being sluts, or anything like that.

Personally, I just think that if anyone is OOCly prejudiced against the Harem (and cross-character harassment counts as OOCly IMO) then they're just... goddamnit their aren't enough words in the dictionary ... Polygamophobes. Which is a bad thing.

Also, whoever said that you have to name a specific person and event for it to be harrassment is talking out of the wrong orifice.

And yet, we're talking about CONNOTATIONS here, not strict definitions. You can't plug your fingers in your ears and pretend that thousands of years of history never happened... the years where these connotations got attached to the word "harem".

In cultures where polygamy is allowed to be practiced, women are valued as objects, or property. True, in most cultures, even America, women are objectified, but not to that extent. It's not a hate for polygamy I have, it's a hate for the treating women as property. Did you not catch that?

If everyone who's advising to "just deal" with the IC harassment will take a deep breath? We did. We were. Thus the creation of the alts for those who wanted to continue the role-play and still be involved with the groups that were too puritanical to accept them.

But the alts solved nothing. The harassment continued, viciously and childishly and completely cross-character. But most of it's been nickel and dime stuff that the ladies felt silly issuing over, so it went undocumented until it had turned into a mountain of nickels which the admins told us they didn't want to hear about.

For myself, I don't mind it. Controversy is practically my middle name. But I cannot believe someone just said this was worse than murder. Nor can I be held responsible that some idiot on Aechaea started a brotherl and decided to call it a "harem". Believe it or not, people who have that much baggage over the word harem are the exception, not the rule. They just feel justified in getting openly nasty about it in a way getting nasty about any other familial arrangement would never be tolerated.

And that's the thing here. If Soll and Narsrim can get together and not have to put up with a constant stream of snide comments about how morally bankrupt they are, then Exarius and Mirandi and Nirandi should be able to do likewise.

And again, I will state that *that is your problem*. You revel in it... and others who have no desire for controversy are drawn in to your little fun.