Harem

by Exarius

Back to Common Grounds.

Sylphas2006-10-25 18:22:55
dry.gif That doesn't make it sound like you've ever tried it, or have any understanding of it. It's not just you getting to sleep with a bunch of women. It's being able to trust and connect with multiple people, love them and care for them and make it work despite the added problems. You think one relationship is hard? Multiply those problems by about three, then factor in that you don't have as much of yourself to give to each.
Noola2006-10-25 18:54:07
Any of you ever see the HBO Series Big Love?

I love that show.
Aiakon2006-10-25 18:59:51
QUOTE(Sylphas @ Oct 25 2006, 07:22 PM) 346572

dry.gif That doesn't make it sound like you've ever tried it, or have any understanding of it. It's not just you getting to sleep with a bunch of women. It's being able to trust and connect with multiple people, love them and care for them and make it work despite the added problems. You think one relationship is hard? Multiply those problems by about three, then factor in that you don't have as much of yourself to give to each.


I don't think one relationship is hard. I find it very easy. Naturally, I would be a terrifically talented polygamist and I think any suggestion to the contrary is nothing short of libellous. I demand that you withdraw your remarks.
Gwylifar2006-10-25 20:33:25
QUOTE(Sylphas @ Oct 25 2006, 02:22 PM) 346572
then factor in that you don't have as much of yourself to give to each.


In a one-to-many, that's certainly a big factor, but in a many-to-many, it's not so much of a problem because there's more people giving to each, in proportion to how much less there is of each.

Recommended reading
Sylphas2006-10-26 00:00:29
True, and that's been my experience, but it is a topic about a harem, so I thought I'd limit it to that.
Unknown2006-10-26 02:13:29
I don't see what the deal is here. He's roleplaying as an aslaran, right? Aslaran are lion-men - lions have many mates who constantly travel with them - heck, wildlife shows even CALL THEM harems. Funnily enough, the lionesses aren't completely and utterly dominated, either. If circumstances warrant, they are perfectly capable of forcing the male out of the group. Not many other mammals live in such a way, therefore you could assume it's unique enough to lions that it could be an acceptable part of aslaran culture. IC discrimination versus an aslaran harem would be discriminations versus aslaran culture itself. Now, if people were bothered by this IC, why would aslaran be so widely accepted if they performed something so taboo?
Ildaudid2006-10-26 02:18:02
QUOTE(Aiakon @ Oct 25 2006, 02:59 PM) 346586

I don't think one relationship is hard. I find it very easy. Naturally, I would be a terrifically talented polygamist and I think any suggestion to the contrary is nothing short of libellous. I demand that you withdraw your remarks.


Oh how I missed you mate!!! laugh.gif
Gwylifar2006-10-26 13:56:56
QUOTE(jackal912 @ Oct 25 2006, 10:13 PM) 346723
I don't see what the deal is here. He's roleplaying as an aslaran, right? Aslaran are lion-men - lions have many mates who constantly travel with them - heck, wildlife shows even CALL THEM harems.


Amusingly, he's the aslaran dedicated to denying the commonality with lions or other feline animals, or ascribing any racial character traits to it.

But really, if he was playing a loboshigaru, would that really change anything? Wolves do not keep harems, but whether you think loboshigaru are wolf-life or just wolf-reminiscent, either way, there's no reason they can't have a harem. Even wolf-life doesn't mean precisely-wolf, and what really matters is simply this: that everyone involved has given informed consent.

Someone make a huge banner saying "What matters is informed consent" and then give it to Murphy to wrap around a club and start beating people with it if they don't get it and keep harassing him or his about this.
Shaeden2006-10-30 22:21:27
I think it's bad form for people to bother someone OOCly about another char. I'm sure I know a few chars who are all alts of one person from before who shae romanced with- one suspected recently tried to rekindle theflame- but I do my best not to let that get in the way because A: there is always the change that I (probably) am wrong, and more importanly B: it's their choice how they play the character. ICly, I think Exarius is a scumbag woman abuser with no right to life, but if he made an alt and was open (on the forums) about it being an alt, I'd do my best not to let past conceptions get in the way. As for the Harem, well, from what I've heard (ICly and OOCly) it's a whore house, (weilding the black book doesn't help- or is that an OOC idea integrated ICly like the word harem?) and Shaeden, who thinks he believes in the sanctity of love and what not would let you know exactly what he thinks of it. I'd take consent as being granted, because, well, it's a whore clan (or so I think OOCly). Anyways, OOCly, do what ayou want, but be aware anything beyond conformity is gonna irritate peopple
Unknown2006-10-30 22:26:33
QUOTE(shaeden @ Oct 30 2006, 11:21 PM) 348495

As for the Harem, well, from what I've heard (ICly and OOCly) it's a whore house, (weilding the black book doesn't help- or is that an OOC idea integrated ICly like the word harem?)


WRONG. Very wrong and ignorant. Even Wikipedia offers a better definition.

And, vhy did zis topik vas nekro'ed? Vhy?!
Shaeden2006-10-30 22:29:46
I agree.
I never heard of "harem" till I played this game. I only know what I've heard from the forums and IC. No dictionaries IC. Don't care enough to look it up OOC = ignorance.

edit 4 days is a necro :| That's how often I check the forums :S
Raysicia2006-10-30 23:37:55
QUOTE(shaeden @ Oct 30 2006, 12:21 PM) 348495

I think it's bad form for people to bother someone OOCly about another char. I'm sure I know a few chars who are all alts of one person from before who shae romanced with- one suspected recently tried to rekindle theflame- but I do my best not to let that get in the way because A: there is always the change that I (probably) am wrong, and more importanly B: it's their choice how they play the character. ICly, I think Exarius is a scumbag woman abuser with no right to life, but if he made an alt and was open (on the forums) about it being an alt, I'd do my best not to let past conceptions get in the way. As for the Harem, well, from what I've heard (ICly and OOCly) it's a whore house, (weilding the black book doesn't help- or is that an OOC idea integrated ICly like the word harem?) and Shaeden, who thinks he believes in the sanctity of love and what not would let you know exactly what he thinks of it. I'd take consent as being granted, because, well, it's a whore clan (or so I think OOCly). Anyways, OOCly, do what ayou want, but be aware anything beyond conformity is gonna irritate peopple



Ignorance is not an excuse. What you just did was slander Exarius, Isluna, Rhosyn, me, and anyone else even associated with the harem because you decided you were going to be to lazy to bother to make sure your understanding of a, fairly common, word was correct.

Quite frankly, given the vocabulary you use, I am surprised you did not know it before hand.

Seriously though, Shaeden, that was one of the most mean hearted things I have seen on this thread.

Thanks for the wonderful welcome home...
Unknown2006-10-31 00:25:18
Well, I gotta say Shaeden that was cruel

You may not agree with what Exarius' harem-thing (as I'm sure a lot of people who have posted either don't care or agree or just wanted to put their two-cents in) at least have the decency to look up what it is before you go and make assumptions like you did.
Sylphas2006-10-31 01:01:43
While I don't agree with him, you can't really blame him for it. He said, "from what I've heard." Even if you know the definition of a word, that doesn't mean someone else is using it properly. If I heard that someone was running an orphanage, but all they did was beat the children with metal rods, looking up the word orphanage doesn't help me any. If he heard that the harem was something or other, how is he to know it's not? IC especially, there's really no incentive to not believe your peers.
Nementh2006-10-31 02:09:54
It wasn't the IC comment that offended I am sure... he directly called everyone in the Harem a whore OOC... and that is why I think pissed people off. That is what pissed Raysi off at least.

I spent more then a few minutes calming her down after that comment.
Exarius2006-10-31 05:18:28
QUOTE(Terentia @ Oct 22 2006, 09:38 AM) 345234

Issue Guidelines.
You should first read HELP ISSUES before filing one.
Second, you should understand the following. ISSUE yourself, if you have a problem that involves you and only you. If another person is involved in your problem, then you should ISSUE that person.

If you issue two people in the same issue, you are not doing it right. You are not giving both people a proper chance to respond to the issue.

If you issue one person with five thousand problems, you are not doing it right. Issues take time. The Administration has to handle them, if you want to issue, be specific on what is going on. If you're being harassed, and the same person is violating help multiplaying, please make two issues of it so that each concern is logged, addressed, and handled.

If you have a problem, please include examples, including IC resolutions. If you feel something is an OOC problem, explain why.
No one is told they can't issue. They are told they need to issue correctly. ~~ Tidbit from the Divine of Lusternia.


Dress it up however you want, I was told point blank that I could not issue complex, longstanding problems. I had to give a specific name and a specific incident.
Ista2006-10-31 05:20:36
Wow, Shaedan, way to prove that this thread was needed.

Also, I don't think four days is a necro.
Sylphas2006-10-31 05:25:25
Issue specific incidents. Use lots of issues. There's no way for them to really sit down and look over everything from the past 3 months unless you point out the bits of interest.
Exarius2006-10-31 06:28:14
QUOTE(Raysicia @ Oct 30 2006, 05:37 PM) 348548

Ignorance is not an excuse. What you just did was slander Exarius, Isluna, Rhosyn, me, and anyone else even associated with the harem because you decided you were going to be to lazy to bother to make sure your understanding of a, fairly common, word was correct.


To clarify, lest the old confusion get dredged back up, Rhosyn was long ago a casual lover to Exarius (We're talking, what, 30 or 40 IC years ago now?), but never entered into a committed relationship with him, so was never part of the harem. Just wanted to point it out because she had a dickens of a time getting rid of that misconception.
Unknown2006-10-31 07:18:59
QUOTE(Nementh @ Oct 30 2006, 09:09 PM) 348613

he directly called everyone in the Harem a whore OOC... and that is why I think pissed people off. That is what pissed Raysi off at least.
Let me respond to that with someone else’s words, just because I think it's extremely ironic.
QUOTE(Exarius @ Jul 10 2006, 04:43 PM) 306308
I've been role-playing for 30 years now, man and boy, and I know for a fact that who you pretend to be is who you become. If you pretend hard enough and long enough to be a serial killer, you will indeed become a serial killer.

Of course, few fake serial killers are going to pretend that long, or that hard. But there's one amazingly huge friggin' gap between typing "kill Fred" five thousand times and plunging a knife into someone five thousand times. When you type a lie, guess what? You're already a liar. And if you don't care about that, if you see nothing wrong with "pretending" to be someone who breaks oaths and contracts, you're going to get into the habit of seeing your word of honour as so much worthless breath.

Fool is the man who can't trust a character someone has played for 600 real life hours, and still thinks he can trust the player behind the character.
Now, do I agree or disagree with either of these quoted statements? No, I'm just playing devils advocate to prove something else I've noticed.

You can't have it both ways, saying that RP matters, it's an indicator of who we really are(but only for the 'other guys'), and also say that RP'ing someone a certain way it means nothing about how good, and kind, and innocent, and fluffy they are IRL(but only for you and your friends).

Disclaimer: This post is directed at others (except the gods... please don't zap me unsure.gif ) not just the people quoted.