Shorlen.

Shorlen!

Let's go for a more Lusternian one this time.

Your zMUD system is coded to shut itself off the moment the word "Snuggles" is mentioned. This is a beneficial feature you coded in because...

... you're an undersecretary and if you get snuggled by a novice one more time you're gonna put a bullet through your monitor.

You're a eunich insecure about your sexuality (or lack thereof) and relapse into suicidal angst at the thought of the affection you'll never have in the real world.

If you lose a fight to Narsrim, you can blame it on the fact that your system wasn't working.

... because you're planning to sell the system for 10 credits to as many combatants as possible. Then, you would fight each of them, use this snuggly, yet deadly feature against them and say that "it is a bug I overlooked". Then, you would charge them 200 credits for "fixing" the system.

My vote's for Tzekelkan this time.

Tzekelkan here as well.

I quoted you because I can't spell his name unless it's right in front of me.

No, you can not call me Kettle!

Genevieve's.

I don't even know where I got that from, but every time I look at your name, the word Kettle springs to mind.

I like Genevieve's.

I vote for Kettle.

Oh, yeah? Well who comes out a winner? Me.

Having an annoyingly hard to type character name is obviously good because...

..it has combat and social benefits: your enemies find it hard to target you in combat; novices can't send you TELLs with their questions; and it adds to your gaming individuality because no one else has a like name.

In the interests of fairness, it makes sense to regulate the number and type of vowels and consonants in any given name, so that ridiculous metagamers like Mr Tzekelkan cannot gain an unfair combat advantage. Just as maelstrom must be immediately nerfed because it does 43.2 more damage than pollute, so Tzekelkan must be nerfed because his name has a Z in it. I will be presenting this issue promptly to my envoy.

...all the silly little folk who will ever wish to make fun of you will inevitably end up making fools of themselves when they mispronounce your name.

... because you earn all these cool nicknames, such as Kettle, that you would never have recieved otherwise.

It limits your addiction to the game by not being able to remember your login name.

Aiakon's ability for humour is absurdly overpowered. Nerf, please.

Have my vote!

Pretty much. Aiakon this time.