You knew that right? That Christmas is my birthday? It's kind of funny, see, 'cause it's my birthday, but you guys get all the presents. See, those presents? They're supposed to be a symbol, right, of the gifts I got at my birth. The Gold, frankincense, myrrh, pa-rah-pa-pum-pum. You know. See, and all I want from you guys, right, is to hate each other just a little less, and I don't know, maybe try to cut back on the constant stealing and raping and killing and blowing up. You know, you're always praying to me, like I'm going to do something about it. Well, newsflash, if you haven't copped to it yet, I'm not. Because I haven't killed anyone. See what I'm saying? You want that crap to stop, YOU need to stop it. And seriously, how much do you want it to stop? 'Cause most of the prayers I've gotten this last month are all "Please Make Dad give me a cell phone!", "I want a Wii!", Wii... what the kind of gay name is that anyway? Do you have any idea how many sixteen-year-old American girls asked me to help get them a car for Christmas? A :censor:ing CAR?! HEY! I'm not Santa. I do NOT get involved in that , and if that's the kind of you pray for, you ought to be ashamed. It makes me sick, literally.

I did laugh, but I'm a bit undecided overall, as the constant swearing in that context made me twitch a bit, and I -know- it could have been said without it, and still been funny. However, it's right, essentially.

Now just don't let Dag see it, or he'll put you on his naughty list next to Verithrax.

..Aye, well, the boy always was trouble. I knew he'd come to a bad end. It doesn't surprise me one bit. Blasphemy and sedition, is it? Oh, the shame of it. He's no son of mine. No, really, he isn't. I'm only his stepfather, you know. We let on I was his real Dad, mind, for the sake of the wife's reputation and that. There's not many men would have taken her on in her condition, but I stuck by her and look where it got me. You would think the little whelp would show me some filial devotion and respect after I'd raised him as my own all those years, but no. Look at what he calls himself. Jesus 'Christ', for God's sake. The ungrateful little sod doesn't even use my surname.

The fact that it's MAKING FUN OF RELIGION OMG GRAB THE TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS.