My cat Patchouli passed away tonight. After struggling with ailing health for the past month, she suffered cardiac arrest while having an ultrasound test done on her heart. It was found she suffered from what was most likely congenital heart disease (one of her heart valves was nonfunctioning). Though she survived the cardiac arrest, we finally had to let her go and say good-bye as there was no treatment for her condition and no good prospects of her living long-term or even short-term with any reasonable quality of life.

Patchouli has been my companion since the year I moved to San Francisco in 1989 (yes, she's older than some of you). She has been with me so long that I cannot remember what it is like not to have her presence in my life. At nights, she would lay down next to me as I unwound and had dinner. Then she would follow me to bed, curl up next to me, resting her head on my arm. I think I'll miss that the most.

Yes, I'm crying a bit as I write this and the tears are probably not yet done. For those who have had such a deep bond with an animal companion, you know what I am going through. For those who don't, you are missing a rich experience that is unique and can only be held with another creature who loves you unconditionally.

Good bye, Patchou. I'll always love you.

Sorry to hear that. Losing pets that've been with you so long is always hard.

Damn dunno what to say, I mean I can't find the exact words to say how sorry I am to hear that Estarra.

My deepest condolences...

I'm so sorry...

I'm so sorry!

I understand completely how you feel too. I had a little dog, from the time I was 10 years old to the time I was 21 years old and she was my best friend ever in the whole world. She kept all my secrets and helped me through all the silly things that teenaged girls cry over just by sitting in my lap and letting me snuggle her. She slept with me and kept me company and was always my biggest fan. When she died, I'd moved out and wasn't even in the same state. I'd wanted to take her with me, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to find an apartment that would take her and she was so old I didn't want to take her from the rest of the family... But I've always, always felt bad that I wasn't there when she died and I had to be told about it over the phone.

Pets are such members of the family, it's always awful when they die but having them is worth it.

Really, really sorry to hear that =( One of the cats I grew up with died three days ago, so I definitely know how it feels...

One of the cats I had for about 13 years died from massive kidney failure on new years like, 2 years ago. Losing a pet sucks balls

May Patchouli live on through Patchou! And the memory live on!

Sowwies bout the kit Estarra

I'm sorry that had to happen Estarra.
Losing pets can be worse then losing a person in ways. You have bad memories and times with people. You don't get that with pets. There are no crummy parts you won't miss with a pet. Makes the whole thing sadder.

Even i have a soft spot for cats, As some of you may be aware i recently left the wife, and I miss the cat a hell of a lot more than i miss her, every now and then i have a single tear well up, especially when i'm told he sits on my old computer desk looking lonely and forlorn. I can only imagine the pain at knowning he's gone forever. My heart goes out to you, and may her beautiful soul rest in peace as all animals are pure I reckon.

I'm very sorry to hear that, Estarra.

Though I don't know what losing a pet feels like, I probably will soon, as my dog has arthritis in his leg, and is starting to have a harder time with movement. Just know, Estarra, that you cat's in a better place now, free of suffering from her heart disease. Cherish the memories that you shared with her, and that'll get you through.

That is really sad. I'm sorry for your loss.

I know what it's like to lose pets because I grew up with a whole darn family of cats. My folks gave us a cat in 1980, and then we adopted another one. She was female, and the other was male, so wham, we had a little of four and only found a home for one.

Sadly, the 1990s saw them reach the limits of their life. One got hit by a car, three had to be put to sleep due to bad diseases such as leukemia (and we couldn't afford to pay for major cat operations), and one died of old age. We adopted three others over time, one died shortly after a complication after being spayed, one was a hobo--he came, spent a few years with us--then disappeared and we thought we saw him in another neighborhood. The last one I don't know her fate--when my folks divorced the house was sold and she was so feral she lived two-thirds of her life outdoors, so she had to stay...

I hope you feel better Estarra.

Incidentally, if I may ask, why did you choose Patchouli as her name? I remember we named our cats based on their attributes--Spike was big, Tiny was a small kitten, Brutus was the rough one of the little, etc. Was it something about finding her in San Fransisco, the original "hippie town"?

Very sorry for your loss. Pets mean a lot, especially after 18ish years.

Aww! Cats can be the best friends you have, sad to hear one less cat in the world.

I am in tears having just read about your loss. I'm so sorry. I've had my cat for 14 years. We've "grown up" together. I can relate to every word of your post, and I can only imagine the sadness.

Hang in there.

Like apparently a lot of other people, I also recently lost my family cat at the tender age of 23 - she'd been with my mother for longer then my father. This a cat that literally cried accompaniment to my hungry bawls when I was a baby. And when she was on her way out, we'd find her skittering down the hallway like she always did, except falling down and not getting up.

Losing a companion sucks. Hard.

I wish I could make this more cheerful, but I think it's just a commiseration-in-misery thing.

I am sorry to hear that.
My parents had a young cat, that slept with me in my crib when I was brought home from the hospital. She slept with me every night since then - up through junior year in High School. High School was ridiculously rough (typical, yes?), so it meant all the more that she was always there when I was upset, and, though drooled a lot, made sure I was safe when sleeping. Didn't even mind when she got older and would hunt my socks at night (in quite the noisy proud mewing fashion). I had had a chance for a summer program, much like people to people, and she was starting to fail. I knew that in the time I would be gone, that dreaded phone call would be coming...she didn't have much left in her - so my parents and I took her in to put her down. It was awful, but better for her. The life she was falling into wasn't a nice one.

While sharing this doesn't do much - it is really hard losing a bond like that.

And now I have the urge to go through old photo albums of when I was a kid and look at the ones with Datha in it.

I share the general sentiment from all of your peers, Estarra. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope things can return to normal for you soon. Take care!

Sorry for your loss.

Next time you get a pet, get a tortoise, so it outlives you!

I still miss my cat though we didn't have her for very long like 6 months I think. We had to give her away becuase we were moving. My sister got a dog that died not too long ago from distemper. Now she has another dog hopefully this one will last for her. I don't really like dogs too much I'd rather have a cat. I don't think my family has kept a pet for very long certanly not 18 years due to my dad being in the military. Sorry to her about your cat