CRACKDEALER- He will get the crackhead killed on his bad batch of crack which he used cyanide to cut, instead of a baby laxitive

COP: "Two life sentences for you."

LUSTERNIA: Sucks everyone in, leading many to waste their money, lives, and sexdrives on text-based entertainment.

The Real World - This superhero (though some view it as a dastardly villian indeed!) defeats text-based games in the end, as no matter how enthralling they become, eventually folks just gotta log out.

ADDICTION: Brings everyone back to the IC.

STEALY MCSTEALS: Renowned for his ability to dominate, he sucks the will to play out of even the most staunch of addicts. Your store room is never safe with Stealy McSteals about!

MATURITY: Teaches people that theft is not such a big deal, and they get over themselves and learn to enjoy the both the triumphs and struggles of their characters lives, just as they would while reading a book or watching a movie. He teaches them to take a step back and realize that their characters are not themselves.

SMITTY ANONYMITTY: Using such warcries as "I DO WHAT I WANT!" and "IT'S MY RP TO BE A DOUCHE!", Smitty preaches character separation and revels in the fact that he does not have to behave in society's shackles. Unfettered by the interweb, Smitty's coup de'grace is the Acronym-For-Everything! lollerbombulolbotskates ahoy!

YRAEL: Walking proof that you can play a game with theft and still have something called restraint and accountability.

But Yrael gets griefed into the ground by Smitty Anonymity when he's in Celest.

DADDY CARTHAN: The superpowers of this fellow's brood are no match for the pummeling and paternal powers of Daddy Carthan. Spankings abound when his kin are around!

FOUNDING FATHERS: These mortals of old who were able to found cities left and right all over the world, building mighty nexii at a whim, are a very model of what modern men and women will never achieve. Their very presence certain rich patrons to their knees from the despair induced by a seemingly wasted life and fortune.

ILLITH, THE LEVIATHAN: The Soulless of old were able to eat cities left and right all over the world, consuming mighty nexii at a whim, and are a very model of what modern heroes and villains will never achieve. Their very presence forces certain would-be pilgrims and founding fathers to their knees from the despair induced by a seemingly wasted dream.

MIGHTY MORPHIN VERNAL GAAA-AAA-AAWDS: Transforming from lowly mortals to mighty divine smiters, the Vernals work together to drive even the mightiest of the Soulless down into the dirt...or oceans, as it were.

WHINERS: They have the power to whine whenever things don't get their way in the game and produce annoying loud noises when ranting in front of their computers or huge lengthy posts on how the game sucks (for them).

MURPHY: Harden up, princesses.

PUSHY PRIEST: Mawwidge is wot bwings us togeffer. Even the mighty must fall...in love. The Priest: drawing people out of the game and into matrimony since 1304.

GAMER GIRL: The joyous holy grail of gaming, the Gamer Girl is only interested in two things: sex and gaming. And possibly candy. Let the choirs sing her praises!

MUDSECKS NOVICE GURL: Tries to hit on the Undersecretary holding her introduction Tour.

The ALIAS. Outguild %1;Enemy %1;pulp %1 face.