QUOTE(Jack @ Jul 28 2008, 12:09 AM) 538022
My friend was wearing a retarded shirt with "semen bank" on the nipple.
So I unzipped my fly, advanced on her threateningly and said "I'm making a deposit."
Spontaneous wit or narrowly-avoided rape? You decide.
So I unzipped my fly, advanced on her threateningly and said "I'm making a deposit."
Spontaneous wit or narrowly-avoided rape? You decide.
Have my babies?
PS: I'm going to have to check with my boyfriend to see if it's okay if I steal you and hide you under our bed to provide endless wit and humor and my beck and call.
Texting my mother too early in the morning
My mom made me lawl
QUOTE
Me: I am bout to make hardboiled eggs. 1 is floating does that mean something?
Mom: Yes, u will meet ur soulmate 2day.
Mom: Yes, u will meet ur soulmate 2day.
My mom made me lawl
QUOTE(daganev @ Aug 1 2008, 11:54 AM) 539484
bash.org
For all your quotation needs.
For all your quotation needs.
these are quotes that happen to you
Aaaand so I havent read bash in forever and went there, and was sending apparently too many to the guy I'm seeing -
QUOTE
Blake: Okay Stop!
LadyOvKayos23: spamspamspamspamspamspamspam
Blake: um
LadyOvKayos23: wow i wrote that really fast without scsrewing up by soe miracle
LadyOvKayos23: F:censor:K
Blake: lool
LadyOvKayos23: >.< damnit all to hell
Blake: failboat?
Blake: Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers.
LadyOvKayos23: already red it
LadyOvKayos23: DAMNIT
Blake: heh
LadyOvKayos23: read&
LadyOvKayos23: ....
Blake: blue?
LadyOvKayos23: f:censor:k this im going back to pen and paper
Blake: haha
Blake: problems?
LadyOvKayos23: apparantly
LadyOvKayos23: apprently
LadyOvKayos23: ;fndskjLNV"vjnpwkj:LDsjcms'lam;d
Blake: lol
LadyOvKayos23: maybe a pencil would be better
Blake: Quoted
LadyOvKayos23: !!!!!
if you can't laugh at yourself....
I think he did it on purpose 
LadyOvKayos23: I was just getting nekkid O.O
THEacrune: I have a gift
THEacrune: people are always getting naked when I start talking to them
LadyOvKayos23: lol
THEacrune: or soon after ;-)
LadyOvKayos23: you should use that to your advantage
LadyOvKayos23: Oh my
LadyOvKayos23: quoted
THEacrune: heh
Ok srsly I need to go shower
QUOTE
LadyOvKayos23: I was just getting nekkid O.O
THEacrune: I have a gift
THEacrune: people are always getting naked when I start talking to them
LadyOvKayos23: lol
THEacrune: or soon after ;-)
LadyOvKayos23: you should use that to your advantage
LadyOvKayos23: Oh my
LadyOvKayos23: quoted
THEacrune: heh
Ok srsly I need to go shower
This is what your missing on stickam...
QUOTE
Me: Aww look at Chii!! She is so pretty today!
Chii: aww thank you Zen
Sean: Wow look at those cute little pig tails!
Anthony: She looks like one of those super cute little asians you just wanna eat the
out of...I mean..I would seriously put her in a stew and eat her.
(room goes silent)
Anthony: Yeh the ladies love my sweet talk
{a second later}
Allie: It's like 11 why do I still have pants on?
Me: Uhm..you dont have pants on..you have like..HOTpants on..or daisy duke short shorts..those arent pants
Anthony: No by Allie's standards, if 2/3rd's of her v a are covered, they are pants
(Meanwhile allie stands up on a chair to show us her 'pants' as opposed to just tilting down the cam)
Anthony: yeh, I definatly see less then 2/3rds v a
Allie: I hate all of you
Chii: aww thank you Zen
Sean: Wow look at those cute little pig tails!
Anthony: She looks like one of those super cute little asians you just wanna eat the
out of...I mean..I would seriously put her in a stew and eat her.(room goes silent)
Anthony: Yeh the ladies love my sweet talk
{a second later}
Allie: It's like 11 why do I still have pants on?
Me: Uhm..you dont have pants on..you have like..HOTpants on..or daisy duke short shorts..those arent pants
Anthony: No by Allie's standards, if 2/3rd's of her v
a are covered, they are pants(Meanwhile allie stands up on a chair to show us her 'pants' as opposed to just tilting down the cam)
Anthony: yeh, I definatly see less then 2/3rds v
aAllie: I hate all of you
Person at deli: Head cheese is good, no head, no cheese!
No cheese, yes head.
No cheese, yes head.
QUOTE(diamondais @ Aug 5 2008, 02:05 AM) 541121
Person at deli: Head cheese is good, no head, no cheese!
No cheese, yes head.
No cheese, yes head.
... "No head, no cheese!"...
QUOTE(Myrkr @ Aug 5 2008, 02:16 AM) 541126
... "No head, no cheese!"...
Why do I always get the weird ones when I'm on shift.
Sorry ahead of time to those who may get offended. I hold no beef with Christians or Catholics as a group. Just a few individuals, like my stepdad. Sammy is my niece, if you don't know already.
Stepdad: I'm glad Sammy is going to go to Catholic School to become a Catholic.
Me: (gives Stepdad a look)
Stepdad: What? Catholicism was good for all of you. It taught you morals.
Me: Actually, I didn't learn my morals from the Ten Commandments.
Me: Besides, I didn't need CCD. I would have been fine if someone have just said to me, God is good, God is Great, but He's easy to piss off and kills people.
Stepdad: You're going to have a of a time in college.
Stepdad: Teachers aren't looking for an argument, they're looking for dialogue.
Me: Good thing you're not my teacher then, eh?
Stepdad: I'm glad Sammy is going to go to Catholic School to become a Catholic.
Me: (gives Stepdad a look)
Stepdad: What? Catholicism was good for all of you. It taught you morals.
Me: Actually, I didn't learn my morals from the Ten Commandments.
Me: Besides, I didn't need CCD. I would have been fine if someone have just said to me, God is good, God is Great, but He's easy to piss off and kills people.
Stepdad: You're going to have a
of a time in college.Stepdad: Teachers aren't looking for an argument, they're looking for dialogue.
Me: Good thing you're not my teacher then, eh?
Sooo I have a new job..hence my absence. But Since I started sunday I've made a rather substantial amount considering. And I tell my friend Anthony each day the total when he asks...
QUOTE
Anthony: how's the bank dear!
Stone Cold Fox: $-edited out- *cough*
Anthony: :censor:@
Stone Cold Fox: LOL
Anthony: need a manager?
Anthony: I'll "Manage" to spend your money on comics!
Stone Cold Fox: You're unbelievable
Anthony: god
Anthony: marry me
Stone Cold Fox: lol what
Anthony: I want half
Anthony: =D
Anthony: I'm a good lay!
Stone Cold Fox: /stabs
Stone Cold Fox: $-edited out- *cough*
Anthony: :censor:@
Stone Cold Fox: LOL
Anthony: need a manager?
Anthony: I'll "Manage" to spend your money on comics!
Stone Cold Fox: You're unbelievable
Anthony: god
Anthony:
marry meStone Cold Fox: lol what
Anthony: I want half
Anthony: =D
Anthony: I'm a good lay!
Stone Cold Fox: /stabs
QUOTE(stangmar @ Aug 14 2008, 04:52 PM) 545865
I declare this thread is full of F I A L
Your face is full of fail!
This morning, before work. Shows the REAL love between my wife and I 
Before getting out of the car, where she is dropping me off for work, she gives me a quick peck.
I figure, hey, why not try and get a slightly better kiss, right?
So, I lean in, and try to kiss her again. She lolls her head back, as if dead.
Me: So, that's fine. I bet there are a bunch of cleaning girls in there, who would give me a quick kiss.
Her: Fine, go do that.
I smirk, and get out.
Me: Love you, baby. Have a good day!
Her: You too, have fun grinding other guy's pipes! (( that's sort of what I do, I use an air grinder to remove gouges and such from big metal pipes))
Me: Yeah, you too!
Before getting out of the car, where she is dropping me off for work, she gives me a quick peck.
I figure, hey, why not try and get a slightly better kiss, right?
So, I lean in, and try to kiss her again. She lolls her head back, as if dead.
Me: So, that's fine. I bet there are a bunch of cleaning girls in there, who would give me a quick kiss.
Her: Fine, go do that.
I smirk, and get out.
Me: Love you, baby. Have a good day!
Her: You too, have fun grinding other guy's pipes! (( that's sort of what I do, I use an air grinder to remove gouges and such from big metal pipes))
Me: Yeah, you too!
