I am currently dating a dutch fellow, and so we've spent, quite literally, the last 3 days on skype together and even sleep together via the cam & audio.
I was laying down in a bad position, and noticed all of my icky fat extra chins quite noticeable.

I just noticed this on iTunes

Was reading some forums looking for how to solve a problem I was having at work. I found the solution, and kept reading to see if there was anything else interesting I could learn. Instead, I found this:

Me: Dad, you know, some old ladies really look like their cats.

Stepdad: Yep. And the old biddies come out at night, too. ASPCA needs to pick up some of those ladies and find them a nice stable home.


Followed by silence then face-reddening laughter.

Me: Hey Dad, did you know coffee lowers the risk of uterine cancer?
Stepdad: Yeah, I know, I've drunk coffee all of my life, and it made my uterus disappear completely!
Me:

Talking to my friend about my univeristy...

"so it was like a british colony and now you breaking free?"

I don't really have any recent funny IRL quotes, but...

Not too long ago, while I was on a trip visiting my family, me, my Dad, sister, other sister, sister's fiance and other sister's boyfriend were all squished up in a car together headed toward the bowling ally. I'd recently seen a movie I thought my sister would like called "Saved" and had been meaning to tell her she should check it out, but kept forgetting (as I'm prone to do).

But it occurred to me in the car and so I suddenly said, "Alayna! You need to get Saved."

Everyone in the car stopped talking. Everyone in the car turned and stared at me with just the picture definition of "WTF?" on their faces. (Even my dad who was driving! Though he did return his gaze to the road quickly.) It took me a moment to figure out what the weird silence was all about and to add, "The move!"

Please note that this thread isn't exempt from the general rules on what is and what isn't appropriate on these forums, and it's threatening to cross the line. So be careful lest your posts get butchered and cease entirely to be funny.

Wut? That seemed to come out of nowhere...

@Noola: Good movie, too!

Yeah, and it came right after my post so I was like, "What'd I do? "

And it was a good movie, wasn't it!

I think he's talking about 95% of Kaylee's moronic posts.

There are just some things you never want to know about total strangers. This is one of those things.

Once a while back, I had to make a mad dash to the restroom. I can't remember what I was thinking of, but some sort of lightbulb came up, and I had this striking idea.

After a while, it occurred to me of this...

My Brother: You alright in there?

Me: You know, it's come to my attention that my best ideas come from sitting on the throne!

Brother: .....that because your making room?

Agreed...