A Common Sense Bill of Non-Rights

by Stangmar

Back to The Real World.

Stangmar2008-10-11 21:01:35
We The People..... Of The United States

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines....

We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are so confused by the Bill of Rights that they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (lastly....) NOW..

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!
Shaddus2008-10-11 21:10:21
Stangmar FTW.

I plan on printing this, and posting it at my job.
Unknown2008-10-11 21:34:51
sigh.
Acrune2008-10-11 21:42:19
Heh, nice.
Noola2008-10-11 21:52:38
I'm quite interested in public health care thank you. tongue.gif
Stangmar2008-10-11 22:20:28
Hey, it isn't my responsibility to pay for anybody's health care but my own. If you want something, you need to go out, kill it, and drag it home yourself. Do I think health care should be as expensive as it is today? Hell no, and we need to go after this despicable mentality that enables a hospital to charge $200 for an aspirin. But I'll pay for my own insurance, and you pay for yours.

EDIT: As a bonus, not only is it the fact that I don't want to subsidize that, but it takes more independence away from the people. We need to stand on our own feet as best as we can, and not rely on the government, lest we become slaves to the government. Public health care will be just another thing for some corrupt president down the line to hold over our heads.
Xavius2008-10-11 22:31:55
QUOTE(stangmar @ Oct 11 2008, 04:01 PM) 569417

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

Can I paint this on the curb and make you bite it while I curbstomp you, Mr. My Religion Defines People's Rights?
Ialie2008-10-11 22:35:17
Most of this is full of dumb. Especially article X. Article X makes Americans look like dumbasses. In almost every other country it is not uncommon for people to know several different languages. The fact that we do not encourage learning more languages in this country is embarrassing. The fact that we actually have people who refuse to even want to learn, or even disagree with teaching it in schools is something that makes me cringe. We look stupid when we spout crap like that.
Esano2008-10-11 22:40:28
I'm not entirely sure about the truth of article XI, either. Wasn't "IN GOD WE TRUST" (thank you for the caps?) declared the national motto much later?
Casilu2008-10-11 22:41:09
QUOTE(Ialie @ Oct 11 2008, 03:35 PM) 569439
Most of this is full of dumb. Especially article X. Article X makes Americans look like dumbasses. In almost every other country it is not uncommon for people to know several different languages. The fact that we do not encourage learning more languages in this country is embarrassing. The fact that we actually have people who refuse to even want to learn, or even disagree with teaching it in schools is something that makes me cringe. We look stupid when we spout crap like that.


Article X is not talking about not learning other languages. Article X is about places like in California where most places have to legally have a Spanish translator because quite a few people refuse to learn English. In fact, most signs in stores are in both English and Spanish because so many people have completely refused to learn English. I'm all for keeping your heritage and your language, but when a large part of the country is forced to change the way things work simply because people won't learn the national language, there is something seriously wrong.
Aerotan2008-10-11 22:42:58
I don't think it's so much that we don't advocate the learning of other languages, but rather we'd like for English to be the primary language for all of our citizens. We'd like to be able to carry on a conversation in English and hold a reasonable expectation that we'll be understood by everyone present.
Acrune2008-10-11 22:50:37
QUOTE(Ialie @ Oct 11 2008, 06:35 PM) 569439
Most of this is full of dumb. Especially article X. Article X makes Americans look like dumbasses. In almost every other country it is not uncommon for people to know several different languages. The fact that we do not encourage learning more languages in this country is embarrassing. The fact that we actually have people who refuse to even want to learn, or even disagree with teaching it in schools is something that makes me cringe. We look stupid when we spout crap like that.


If I move to Mexico, I'll learn spanish. I expect the same courtesy from them.
Unknown2008-10-11 22:57:47
QUOTE(stangmar @ Oct 11 2008, 02:01 PM) 569417
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!


Um.. do you realize that pretty much the best known of the Founding Fathers hoped religion would never be a major component of our national identity?

And beyond that, I agree with Ialie, that list is just filled, in general, with massive amounts of dumb.
Acrune2008-10-11 23:10:52
QUOTE(S.A.W. @ Oct 11 2008, 06:57 PM) 569444
And beyond that, I agree with Ialie, that list is just filled, in general, with massive amounts of dumb.


Only in that it states what should be obvious. I mean, clearly, if you stab yourself in the face with a screwdriver, its your own fault tongue.gif
Stangmar2008-10-11 23:26:04
QUOTE(Xavius @ Oct 11 2008, 04:31 PM) 569438
Can I paint this on the curb and make you bite it while I curbstomp you, Mr. My Religion Defines People's Rights?


My religion's opposition to same-sex marriage is more than just the fact that we consider homosexuality to be wrong. It is also because we encourage a strong family unit where there is a mother and a father(This one offends people because it sounds like we're unconditionally attacking families affected by divorce as well. For clarification, we encourage people to try to work it out, but understand that sometimes there are issues that just can't be worked out), so that children receive the nurturing that only a mother can truly give, and the strong father figure that only a father can give, a situation in which children generally tend to do the best(assuming the parents married for the right reason and work together well).

We're not trying to say, BAD SINNER! BAD!
We're trying to protect the family.

So relax and take a chill pill, Mr. I must bring down religion(I can be a 2nd grader too!)
Unknown2008-10-11 23:42:53
QUOTE(stangmar @ Oct 11 2008, 04:26 PM) 569456
My religion's opposition to same-sex marriage is more than just the fact that we consider homosexuality to be wrong. It is also because we encourage a strong family unit where there is a mother and a father(This one offends people because it sounds like we're unconditionally attacking families affected by divorce as well. For clarification, we encourage people to try to work it out, but understand that sometimes there are issues that just can't be worked out), so that children receive the nurturing that only a mother can truly give, and the strong father figure that only a father can give, a situation in which children generally tend to do the best(assuming the parents married for the right reason and work together well).

We're not trying to say, BAD SINNER! BAD!
We're trying to protect the family.

So relax and take a chill pill, Mr. I must bring down religion(I can be a 2nd grader too!)


That is such utter bull. There is nothing that only a mother or father can provide. That is a stereotype that is so insanely full of holes it isn't even funny. Since when can only a mother be nurturing? I was closest to my grandmother growing up. My mother was completely incapable of being nurturing. My father and then step father were both horrible father figures.

What the hell do you even consider a "strong father figure"? Is that taking care of your family? Cause why can't a mother support the family money-wise? Is it being able to do "manly" things like work on cars? Hell, I don't know jack about cars, where as my friend's fiance, a girl, is a mechanic where he's a nurse.

Your whole concept of the roles of a man and woman in a relationship is so outdated that it's kind of disgusting. I take offense to the idea that I can't care for my kids on an emotional level to match what their mother could, and I take offense to the idea that a mother couldn't show a son how to be a good, decent, honest, hard-working person.

Just ugh at every idea you just projected there.
Acrune2008-10-11 23:54:02
Ah, gay marriage. One of the few subjects I won't touch tongue.gif
Unknown2008-10-12 00:02:47
QUOTE(stangmar @ Oct 11 2008, 05:01 PM) 569417
We The People..... Of The United States
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!


Wasn't added until 1954. It's only 54 year's history. Sorry to disappoint you. happy.gif Please try again later. Thank you.
Unknown2008-10-12 00:10:00
man I just realized i got trolled by stangmar

well played, sir
Acrune2008-10-12 00:19:42
QUOTE(Myrkr @ Oct 11 2008, 08:02 PM) 569493
Wasn't added until 1954. It's only 54 year's history. Sorry to disappoint you. happy.gif Please try again later. Thank you.


Yeah, that last one is kind of an awkward one. I don't understand why people get so upset about words on money though. I don't have strong feelings either way when it comes to religion, but it annoys me when people have a fit about dumb stuff like that.