Is it so bad that I want to hear your voice on your birthday? Cuz , I really miss you.

I hate when a story makes me cry. I am not a girl. I'm not!

By the way, you should read I Kill Giants.

The Time Traveller's Wife makes me cry each time I read it, even though I know exactly what is going to happen. I'm not a girl either.

I cry like a baby at the end of the Phantom of the Opera. Among countless other things.

My entire department at work is falling apart, what the hell man?

I'll be 20 soon (20!). I still don't have: a driver's license, a car, or a job. Why can't I be like most 16-20 years old? "Having a driver's license, and a car is the best thing since sliced bread!" Instead this is my brain: "Oh no! You don't wanna do that. You know why? That thing, y'know that thing, that helps you judge distances and all? Oh yeah you suck at that! So you know...chances are you're going to crash. Mhm, that's right. You're going to crash. No doubt about it. So how 'bout you just sit on your ass in your dad's house, where you know you're a. safe, and b. you can do what you do best. Sitting on your ass. Fatty." -.- my brain hates me.

I thought I had a big project due. Turns out my brain made it all up.

I don't know if I should be relieved, because this whole time I'm like, Syllabus, I don't believe you.

If it's any consolation, I don't have my full drivers license, or a car, I didn't get my first job until I was 18. You'll be fine!

My friend is 25 and absolutely refuses to even attempt to get a driver's license, despite repeated offers to drive him to the DMV, teach him how to drive, pay for it, take him to get a physical, and even once someone offered to give him a car for free. He would rather walk to work every day, one hour round trip in any weather. God forbid he gets fired, because jobs within walking distance of his house are very few and far between, and one of them (that pays much better) he refuses to take because of the hours. Despite the fact that he, as far as I know, doesn't do anything time sensitive that his work schedule would affect in any way.

It's rather frustrating to everyone else, but he seems totally cool with it. >_<

Meh, there isn't even such a thing as winter where I live and I'm still feeling inexplicably blue these days.

Me too, but that's just because of my finals, not due to lack of sunlight.

I think it's cool that we have a month long break here for the holidays, and I don't have exams but.. I'm kind of looking at it, thinking a whole month of.. nothing. I haven't found work yet (and probably wont but will keep trying), it's kind of pointless to work on some of my assignments right now because if I run into any problems I have nobody around to ask for help or look over my drafts, I'm going to give my mother a heart attack or panic attack if I go travelling alone, and still on a crummy proxy network that blocks things.

Boo.

On the bright side, aside from my mother being unhappy that this will be the first time I haven't been home for Christmas.. nobody has started to guilt trip me into buying a ticket home I just cannot afford at this time.

A death in the family, and in a couple of days I'll be spending money I absolutely don't have to travel to Florida for a funeral at a time I really can't spare the time, either. The only upside is I'll have a good excuse for missing more of the event in Lusternia.

Writers block. Urrrgh..

My condolences. I hope you're holding up alright, man.

finals tomorrow, sinus infection with a serious sore throat and I am dehydrating as rapidly as I am getting fluids in to my system.. I'm miserable and it is only going to get worse before my antibiotics kick in.

I have less than 50$ in my bank account. Sitting here cursing myself for being stupid and not careful with my money. I knew it was limited, and I knew I shouldn't have bought all that stupid crap. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Ugh, I haven't been sleeping well.

So today I had to give a presentation and I hadn't slept for about 25 hours, so I took some caffeine pills as my thermos of coffee had broken (don't think I'll be using a glass one outside of the house again). Which of course made me blow through what was supposed to be a ten minute presentation in about half a second, during the questions after the lecturer asked a question that I'd answered in full, mentioned that I'd already covered that and his response was "Sorry, I must've blinked and missed the slide...".

And of course this presentation was marked and goes towards my final grade.

realizing that the one thing I want these holidays, is the one thing I won't get

Physics degree is done, but only managed an Upper Second, only 75% in final project. I guess they saw through my flannel and padding.