He obviously means nose.

Clearly.

EDIT: Ugh, not my day. Every customer seems to be angry today, and the only one I've actually conversed with (because most aren't actually online tonight) became disgruntled with me just for trying to be a little bit silly. Usually they like that, but apparently this guy wasn't up for it. So now I'm banging my head on my desk wondering why I bother sometimes.

Meh. At least most nights aren't like this. Honestly, I usually have fun at my job, just tonight has been craptastic.

My cats were fighting, so I broke them apart, and now the stupid one is chasing me around and hissing at me. He's jumped up onto my leg and latched on about three times now, and when I went to pry him off of me he ripped my hand open with his claws and sunk his teeth into my wrist.

Oh man, I'm having cat problems too. D: My kitten's been acting completely insane, and she won't stop climbing up my back or leg. She's definitely big enough that she can jump onto my bed without climbing onto me first now. ><

This is why dogs are better than cats.

Don't go to pry it off, smack it. Cats don't grapple, they bite and SWAT. If you cuff him, he'll get the point. And if he doesn't, kick him.

I love animals, but sometimes you DO have to manhandle them.

Is one of those cats 1-3 years old and not fixed?

Evil colon....

There's no way I'm going to give up drinking tea and coffee at the computer. I never eat at the computer, but tea and coffee? Always. I don't splash them around like a three-year-old, but accidents do happen.

That's why I always buy $25 keyboards at home: If I do spill something on them, they're easily replaced. The tower and monitor are both safely out of harm's way. It's actually been three years since I ruined a cheap keyboard through spillage (until now, of course, and coincidentally this keyboard will also cost $25 to replace).

In this case, though, the little netbook and coffee cup were all on the same table.

Oh, regarding the pissed-off cat line of discussion going on here:

You've never had animal problems until you bring two new female ferrets home to be companions for the female ferret you already own. I know a lot more about ferrets than your typical ferret owner (many are woefully ignorant, sometimes keeping them in small cages like hamsters or over-bathing them, for example), but I did not know that even spayed female ferrets will practically kill each other for weeks over territory rights.

I broke down and cried a couple of times, and almost swore off pets for life after a few weeks of bedlam. Eventually, finally, they worked out their differences and decided not to slaughter each other.

One thing's for sure, though: If I ever own ferrets again, and wish to own more than one, they're going to be litter mates.

At work, one of the lab computers has a wonky left shift key (and tab and caps lock, but thats not as big of a problem). Trying to program using a shift key that works on and off is quite frustrating:

3include
QString9"%1').arg("this is annoying'0;

So, sometimes the right shift key is the only thing you can do to keep your sanity

One of my pets literally ripped my mom's pet limb from limb.

They were hermit crabs, but still! It was shocking to my significantly younger self

I need to find out if I'm going to the UK for sure or not, this way I know when I'm getting one of those! So cute! <3

I was asked to watch a pair of hamsters while some people were on vacation. The last day of their vacation, the male hamster decided to eat the other hamster's head. I don't know how or why, but Hamster1 used its itty-bitty vegetarian mouth to leave a headless corpse of Hamster2. And of course it was the last day of the vacation, just so the little girl could see it before I did.

Lies! I love my cats. Dogs are far too needy.



Swatting him away is what got him to start thinking I was wanting to fight with him in the first place. I figured at that point the last thing I wanted to do was speak his little kitty fight language any more. Also, I would never kick him! Noooo!



Nope. Both fixed, and one is seven and the other is four, the four year old being the one who was trying to eat my legs. He's mentally handicapped, so he can act up sometimes. Generally the only way to get him to stop doing something he has his mind set on is to shine a flashlight at the edge of the rug; he'll be convinced that it's hiding and spend about a half hour burrowing under the rug trying to find it before he forgets what he was doing in the first place. Super kitty distraction tactics. Anyway, the flashlight was out of batteries, so I was on my own for this one. Gaah.

They're predatory animals. You're bigger and stronger, prove it.

Reason doesn't really work when you're dealing with a cat who is literally retarded.

He does not understand fear. This is the cat who will jump in the open oven without hesitation if you don't push him away or distract him with something. He actually made it in once, thankfully when it was off, but he has tried many times while it was hot. We have to keep a constant eye on him because he tries to do things that normal cats know not to do.

Actually the best way to reprimand him is to pick him up and cuddle him. Little guy hates being touched.

If you insist upon not kicking him, may I advise a spray-gun/water-bottle?

We've tried, he just sits there with a dumb look on his face and doesn't even react to the water hitting him.

Then I'm afraid you have no choice but to beat your cat or live in fear of it.